CHILLY WINDS? PRESIDENT’S ARAB SPRING VISION TAKES AUTUMNAL TURN!

True fact: Elizabeth Taylor once played Cleopatra

HAS OBAMA’S PLAN FOR A SOLIDLY UNITED ISLAM HIT A SNAG?

What has gone so desperately wrong with President Obama’s precision-honed policies in the Middle East? Until recently the regime’s plans to place the region solidly under a pan-terroristic caliphate had unfolded so flawlessly as to put to shame all previous endeavors in the region! Not since 1956 when John Foster Dulles sent the United States Navy to confront the British and French Navies in Mediterranean Sea, thus halting a madcap endeavor by the joint forces of those European powers in concert with the fledgling nation of Israel to restore the French-built Suez Canal to British management after Egypt’s Gamal Abdel Nasser “nationalized it,” had the United States exhibited such cool, unambiguous irrationality in the face of looming cohesion. Even as the region hovered perilously close to the brink of lasting stability, Dulles directed the massive sale of American sterling in order to weaken the British pound, and asked the United Nations to insert its forces into the embattled Canal Zone to prevent further stabilization! (Regular attendees of these pages will recall that WOOF recently created the John Foster Dulles Award for exceptional feats of American statespersonship in commemoration of this valiant epoch and bestowed the very first “DULLIE” upon Secretary of State Clinton).

IRAN SAVED FROM THE HANDS OF AN ANGRY CITIZENRY!

Readers will also acknowledge, we trust, that the Obama/Clinton Middle Eastern policy has been one of unbroken triumphs until now. Let us review, gentle reader: First, President Obama flew to Cairo in 2009 to make the first of many “apology speeches,” during which he lamented American arrogance in the region and pointed out that Egyptian stability was a reliable force in the Middle East. In February of 2009 he pumped $20 million dollars of taxpayer money for ‘urgent refugee and migration needs” into Gaza, confident that, as Barbara Crook of Media Watch pointed out, “the money will be used to promote terrorism and teach Palestinians to hate non-Muslims and oppose the existence of Israel.” Obama next sent a special envoy to the Middle East to “listen to people and not to dictate” which the (psychotic) leadership of Iran hailed as a “positive signal.” But all was not sweetness and light in the quiet principality of Iran—no, in fact massive rioting broke out in the streets of Tehran and other cities following the re-election of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who defeated moderate candidate Mir-Hossein Mousavi through the traditional campaign tactic of rigging the election. The result brought thunderous youth protests and violence across Iran, on a scale that outstripped anything seen elsewhere in the region. Ever cool and detached, President Obama did absolutely nothing to inject influence into the strife torn nation, nor did he so much as mention the events in Iran for two weeks. Come to think of it, neither did the American news media. Thus, while the rioting in Iran continued unnoticed in 2010, Obama turned his attention to affairs of state, inviting Israeli leader Benjamin Netanyahu to the White House for a dinner in his honor over which discussions of peace were planned—but Obama didn’t care for the discussion and abandoned Netanyahu in the Roosevelt Room, telling him his concessions were inadequate. “Let me know if you come up with anything new,” the President told Netanyahu, abandoning him and his gobsmacked entourage while Obama went to dinner without him. 

A rare moment of joviality

EGYPT SAVED FROM THE FIEND MUBARAK!

But the winds of change soon demanded the attention of our young President, who discovered that a truly nefarious tyrant, long-time United States ally Hosni Mubarak, was confronting rioters in the streets of Egypt. This wound on for ten days, during which time the world reeled at the violent image of one Egyptian protester getting shot by a member of Mubarak’s security forces. His mind made up, President Obama insisted on the departure of Mubarak from power despite his history of unflagging cooperation with the U.S., and the American news media began incessantly nattering that an “Arab Spring” was bringing democracy to the region. What it brought instead, as WOOF confidently predicted at the time, was a thug-ocracy run by Mohamed Morsi, a Hamas–affiliated member of the fascistic Muslim Brotherhood who wasted no time making it plain that he required broad new powers in order to, among other fine points, spread Islamic law and extirpate Israel.To help celebrate, TIME, a subversive pop-cultural magazine, dutifully declared him “The most important man in the Middle East.”

Hosni Mubarak shortly after retiring from Egyptian presidency

LIBYA SAVED FROM THE ENUI OF NEUTRALITY!

Gaddafi just dead after long ride

WOOF readers will recall that at this moment in history, the Arab Spring spread its vernal waftages over Libya, where dwelt another enemy of peace and prosperity, a vile tyrant named Muammar Gaddafi who was so insane that he couldn’t even decide how to spell his name, changing it constantly!  Gaddafi, back when he was Qaddafi, before he became Kaddafi, financed several terroristic missions against Americans, but showed the uneven judgment to do so during the halcyon reign of Ronald Reagan, who shot down his Air Force, sank his Navy, blew up his mansion, and recommended that he retire from the business of exporting terror—which Kaddafi immediately did. He even gave up his nuclear program. Obama and Mrs. Clinton could not countenance any further insults to international decency from this madman, and sent American aircraft, Predator Drones and cruise missiles to fly cover for Al Qaeda, which took nearly forever to overthrow the tyrant, whose soldiers actually shot back, eventually succeeding with additional “NATO” (read: American) air support. Tying Khadafy to the hood of a car, the “rebels” (state department jargon for Al Qaeda fighters) drove the shrapnel-wounded dictator (whom they called Qadhafi) around the city of Sirte. During this drive he was stripped naked and variously shot and bludgeoned. It transpired– by the time his tour of the city ended–that Gadaffi was dead. This cleared the way for an Al Qaeda led take over of a previously peaceful Libya, and inspired Secretary of State Clinton to remark “Wow!” to which she appended the rather more classical trope, “We came, we saw, he died!” Meanwhile in Washington, President Obama solemnly declared that “iron-fisted rule” had ended in Libya, adding, “Our leadership…has helped guide our coalition” (Administration jargon for Al Qaeda).

SYRIA BENEFITS FROM PLANNED IGNORING—THE IRANIAN MODEL!

Syrian honcho Assad sports one of his trademark gigantic neckties

Next, readers will recall that things started looking pretty Arab Springy in Syria, but readers will also recall that Syria is led by a rabidly anti-Semitic sociopath (who wears ridiculously large ties considering how small his head is), President Bashar al-Assad. And Assad wants nothing more in life than to kill American soldiers by financing and supplying the terror war in Iraq while figuring out better ways to wipe out Israel, perhaps with all the Saran gas it turns out he has, and with which the Obama Administration politely asked him to be careful. Cool as ever in the face of geopolitical upheaval, our president resolutely proceeded to  do nothing whatsoever to assist with Assad’s overthrow by a Syrian citizenry increasingly fed up with their dictator’s psychopathy, ridiculously fat ties, and small head.

SO WHAT WENT WRONG?? 

How is it then, that in the wake “No-Drama” Obama’s continued success replacing neutral or pro-Western regimes with slathering terror mongers, we awake this day to discover that one of them is not only unhinged, but unseated?  Might Egypt slump back into the neutral column after all the Administration’s hard work? How can it be? Well, no matter how the Administration may elect to spin it, things are looking pretty dismal for the Obama Mideast Plan in Cairo this dawn! Tens of thousands of protesters in the streets of Cairo and Alexandria angrily called for Morsi to abandon the presidency, his rule having become unendurable to the Egyptian people, especially after November 22nd when he issued a decree placing himself above oversight of any kind, and adopted a “Constitution” that he’d stayed up all night writing with the help of only four women, (all Islamist extremists).

And only today, rather than face the throngs calling for his immediate departure, Morsi departed! An Egyptian official said that Morsi left on the advice of security officials at the palace and to head off “possible dangers.” Morsi’s spokesman said the president left the palace at the end of his work schedule through the door he routinely uses. WOOF thinks that Morsi’s spokesman was probably lying about that part.  Soon afterwards, police abandoned the rest of the barricades, allowing the crowds to thunder up to the walls of the palace complex. Is the Obama Middle East strategy coming unraveled? American voters seemed unperturbed by the fact that two Navy SEALS were gunned down, an American Ambassador homosexually raped and murdered, and two other Americans butchered in Benghazi while the Obama Administration watched by satellite and decided to blame a 15 minute movie that nobody has, to this date, ever laid eyes on, but will they be as comfortable with this sudden deterioration of the Egyptian situation? What if an authentic democracy is established? What if it isn’t linked to Hamas? What if it isn’t presided over by a homicidal ideologue? Would the Administration lose face permanently in the region? Mrs. Clinton, we know you read the WOOF forums! Time to get in there and earn that DULLIE!

“Wow!” (Hillary celebrates tyrant’s death with “rebel forces!”)