WOOF! Watchdogs of Our Freedom

Archive for May, 2013|Monthly archive page


In Let's call the whole thing off forum on May 26, 2013 at 6:40 pm
WOOF barks truth at power!

WOOF barks truth at power!

“The power to tax is the power to destroy.” –John Marshall

Most Americans think we’ve always had an income tax, but then most Americans also think we’ve always had a Department of Education and elected representation in the Senate. Most Americans think the Monitor fought the “Merrimack” in the civil war, that Custer was an idiot and Joe McCarthy was the wickedest American who ever lived. Most Americans think that gun stores sell assault rifles, that Jack Kennedy was a pacifist, and that President Obama is smart. So you probably think this is going to be another WOOF screed about how lousy our public schools are, right? But no, it’s actually an article about the IRS, America’s redoubtable Internal Revenue Service. And yes, polls have long shown that almost one third of  adult Americans believe the Founding Fathers placed the IRS in the constitution to keep the country solvent. (Of course these are the same Americans who numbly assert that rich people don’t pay their fare share—forgetting in their righteous daze that poor people don’t pay any share at all, that “rich people” (top 10 percent) pay 37 percent of the nation’s taxes, and that those middle class folks so beloved of Democrats and for whom Our Dear Leader continues to battle so energetically (although apparently unsuccessfully) continue to pay a whopping 70 percent!

Go Culpeper, beat Tech!

Go Culpepper, beat Tech!

That’s right, gentle readers, this is going to be an article about the bloody, tawdry, mercilessly Marxian monstrosity known as the Federal Income Tax—and those valiant civil servants who exact it from us in blatant contravention of the American Constitution and the free-market ethos—the men and women of the IRS.  Of course, someone is going to remonstrate with us at this point that Abraham Lincoln started the income tax to help pay for the civil war, and yes, this was among our 16th president’s several injudicious ventures—but even so it was a far milder beast in those days at three percent of earned income–tepid and short lived, albeit no less unconstitutional, and hey, only half the country had to pay it, right? Besides, it vanished shortly following the cessation of civil hostilities, and was not seen abroad in the land again until that dark hour that oversaw the election of the insufferable Woodrow Wilson.

Colonel House--Wilson's  éminence grise who doubled as an éminence rouge.

Colonel House–Wilson’s éminence grise who doubled as an éminence rouge.

True, the idea was broached anew in 1894 but promptly declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court in its enlightened ruling in Pollock vs. Farmers’ Loan and Trust Company. It is worthy of note that the Court struck down the proposed income tax  because it failed to make any provision for apportionment, as required by Article I, Section 2, Clause 3 of the Constitution. And there the issue should have rested, but in 1912 Americans did a particularly ill-considered thing—they elected Woodrow Wilson President of the United States. Wilson, contrary to what many of our readers may believe, was not a communist—in fact, he reviled communism (there’s some good in everyone, Woofketeers). What he was, however, besides being a raving racist, a war monger and a manipulative fascist, was stupid—and he was easy prey for less benighted men who were dedicatedly communist. One such man was his trusted adviser Col. Edward Mandell House, whose vision for America amounted to “socialism as dreamed of by Karl Marx.” So on the pretext of funding World War One, which America was duped into fighting by Wilson and his progressive allies, Colonel House proposed the return of the federal income tax and rammed it through congress as a patriotic necessity to support the dough-boys abroad…and thus we have the dreadful Sixteenth Amendment to the Constitution granting the Federal Government the right to implement a progressive income tax, precisely as called for in the Communist Manifesto (Plank #2 if you’re thinking of checking). By the way, House and Wilson next instituted the ruinous Federal Reserve Act, but let us not digress.

A target rich environment!

Why does WOOF choose to devote space to the IRS imbroglio, with so much else at stake in the nation? After all, we have been screaming bloody murder (and justifiably so) about Benghazi for months—and done our part to raise the consciousness of the average American about this travesty—and with enough success that more and more of our fellow citizens are beginning to recognize that Benghazi was not the actor who got killed fighting Patrick Swayze at the end of “Road House.”

Ben Gazarra--growing numbers of AMericans realize he is not the second largest city in Libya!

Actor Ben Gazarra–growing numbers of Americans realize he is not the second largest city in Libya!

We also remain concerned with the Obama initiative known as “Fast and Furious.” This, you may recall, was the Administrations 2009 gun-running operation to the Mexican drug cartels– who used the guns (provided to them at bargain rates by Attorney General Eric Holder) to kill American border guards—all this in an apparent effort to raise an outcry against the 2nd amendment, which amendment the Nation’s First Skeet-shooter finds objectionable. The details surrounding “Fast and Furious,” in WOOF’s view, seem to hint some rather apparent improprieties—which improprieties, however, remain insufficiently apparent to attract the notice of American news reporters. ..

More and more Americans realize this is film is not what Eric Holder was up to his neck in!

More and more Americans realize this  film is not what Eric Holder was involved in!

For four years running…but the media, to be fair, do have another opportunity to discover “Fast and Furious” (as if!) since the Justice Department IG (who must have missed the memo) issued a report to the effect that the Department violated policy by purposely leaking materials of a defamatory nature against their own agent John Dodson with the sole purpose of discrediting him as a “Fast and Furious” whistleblower. The report called the behavior “egregious,” particularly because its intent was to undermine valid information disclosed to lawmakers by Dodson. Back in the days when guys like Scooter Libby went to prison because they misremembered a detail during testimony that was in any case inapposite to the alleged crime, a President would have been dragged through the dust by a raging news industry had he overseen a gun deal to drug hoods and attempted to smear and intimidate whistleblowers from within his own Administration. Nowadays? Not so much.

John Dodson, unsung American patriot survived the Baur/Obama smear machine and was vindicated by the ATF and praised for his courage by his commander.

John Dodson, unsung American patriot who survived the Obama smear machine and suffered betrayal by his own ATF. which organization ultimately vindicated him and praised him for his courage- once “Fast and Furious” became impossible to keep under wraps!

And then, of course, there is the matter of the Attorney General feloniously seizing the email records of the Associated Press (where’s the gratitude?) and of certain reporters at Fox News– notably the lovable and patriotic James Rosen– in an effort to silence dissent (to the extent that any may be said to exist) in the media. To be fair, President Obama has officially acknowledged feeling “troubled” by the invasive email seizures, and as a demonstration of his level of perturbation he recently assigned Attorney General Holder (otherwise known as the perpetrator) to investigate himself and report back. One could go so far as to remark that the number of controversies engulfing the Obama Administration at this point is so elevated that one doubts the media’s capacity to stay on top of each erupting enormity with sufficient attentiveness to keep everything adequately suppressed; besides which the Associated Press, long among Dear Leader’s most adoring and sycophantic support groups, is feeling a bit huffy about having its sources pinched and may remain at least vaguely adversarial for another week—possibly even two—before it forgives and forgets.

So why did WOOF decide to address the tax issue in this screed? Because it has the most traction, Woofketeers! This may seem baffling until you stop to consider that comparatively few Americans know anybody who has been gunned down by Mexican drug lords—or buggered and murdered by Al Qaeda in the streets of Benghazi—or (knowingly) had his emails grabbed for analysis by the Justice Department. But almost half the country still pays taxes, and everybody hates the IRS. Even moronic MSNBC and CNN pontificators hate the IRS, because even though most of them are British subjects they still work over here and pay taxes. So WOOF decided to go with the flow. If the Tea Party Tax scandal has the most juice, let’s roll!

Even Obama's Treasury Secretary, Honest Tim Geitner, hated the IRS--before he ran it, he tried to cheat them out of $30,000!

Even Obama’s original Treasury Secretary, Honest Tim Geitner, hated the IRS–before Obama put him in charge of it,  he tried to cheat it out of $30,000!

Crimes recent and less recent

Americans who remember who Monica Lewinsky was (and actually still is, by the way) may also recall that the IRS came under considerable fire during the Clinton Administration. In that era it became evident that the Clintons were using the IRS to bludgeon Christian groups, the NRA, the Heritage Foundation, National Review, Citizens Against Government Waste, Bill O’Reilly, Concerned Women of America, and indeed, any women of America who had any inconvenient recollections of past involvements with President Bill. Actress Elizabeth Gracen, for instance, made the mistake of acknowledging a fling with Bill Clinton in her past and was directly informed that she would be, among other things, audited if she didn’t shut up.

Wow, the Daily News scooped the Times--how very peculiar!

Wow, the Daily News scooped the  NY Times again–how very peculiar!

And before Bill and Hill there was Nixon, remember him? He was that Keynesian guy who ended the draft, got out of Vietnam, and hugged Mao Tse Tung and who is reviled to this day by liberals as an arch right winger! Nixon tried to use the IRS to harass people on his famous ‘enemies list’ but met with righteous resistance in the House of Representatives. Did you know that when impeachment articles were drawn up against Nixon a portion of the language averred that “He has, acting personally and through his subordinates and agents, endeavored to obtain from the Internal Revenue Service, in violation of the constitutional rights of citizens, confidential information contained in income tax returns for purposes not authorized by law, and to cause, in violation of the constitutional rights of citizens, income tax audits or other income tax investigations to be initiated or conducted in a discriminatory manner.”  Imagine that—a guy could get impeached for this stuff back in Nixon’s day!

In fairness, after Nixon shook hands with Mao Tse Tung, he also shook hands with Elvis--thus reducing his time in purgatory by several hundred years.

In fairness, after Nixon shook hands with Mao Tse Tung, he attempted to repent his sins by shaking hands with Elvis Presley–thus reducing his time in purgatory by what?  Several hundred years?

What happened in 2012?

So what did the IRS do in 2012? Really just business as usual. Among dozens of other equally dastardly depredations, it sent signed letters to nearly every identifiable Tea Party group applying for or attempting to retain tax-exempt status as a 501(c)(4) group, (the necessary status for groups raising public awareness whose missions are partly political).  These letters  demanded that the Tea Party groups surrender everything from their membership lists to screen shots of their Facebook pages and lists of all speakers who spoke at their meetings or conventions, and all donors–and this despite the fact that 501(c)4 tax status specifically guarantees the anonymity of all donors. Conservative educational groups that work with youth were told to submit lists not only of all young Americans they had helped educate, but, somewhat implausibly, all those whom they planned to educate in the future. Groups failing to comply would be denied tax exempt status despite the fact that such demands by the IRS have no legal basis and violate the Constitutional rights of the applicants.

Who is Bob Bauer?

Robert Bauer, Rappin' Preezy's muscle from Chicago. Doeesn't he kind of remind you of Ron Perlman on Sons of Anarchy? Only not as nice.

Robert Bauer, Rappin’ Preezy’s muscle from Chicago. Doesn’t he kind of remind you of Ron Perlman on “Sons of Anarchy?” Only not as lovable  right?

WOOF knows that Bob Bauer, who was the Obama campaign’s general counsel, and who became White House general counsel, is a specialist at using governmental agencies as instruments of intimidation and coercion. In 2008 Bauer pressured the Department of Justice to bring criminal investigations against the American Issues Project to prevent it from exposing Obama’s close associations with retired Weather Underground bomber Bill Ayers.  Later that year, Bauer teamed with the Democratic National Committee and a bevy of pro-Obama front organizations to pressure Jewish community leaders into dropping the beautiful and gifted Sarah Palin from a rally against Iran’s nuclear policies. WOOF suspects that more recently Bauer may have functioned as the President’s Chicago-style “enforcer,” ramrodding the recent campaigns against Tea Party-type groups. WOOF further suspects that Bauer’s marching orders in this capacity were to generate sufficient disruption of those organizations’ outreach efforts as to achieve de facto voter suppression during Our Beloved Helmsman’s re-election campaign. Romney contributors, by the way, were similarly targeted. WOOF further suspects that its own candidate in the 2012 presidential race, the beautiful and talented Christine O’Donnell, may have performed poorly at the polls despite WOOF’s endorsement owing to similar shenanigans!

Christine O'Donnell--Was WOOF's nominated candidate a victim of mass voter suppression last November?

Christine O’Donnell–was WOOF’s nominated candidate a victim of mass voter suppression last November?

Fools on the Hill

Commisioner Shulman testifies--sort of. Hey, did you ever see Wallace and Grommet?

Commissioner Shulman testifies–sort of.  Hey, did you ever see ‘Wallace and Gromit’?  Never mind.

Democratic and Republican lawmakers summoned IRS Commissioner Doug Shulman to testify before the congressional hearing on the scandal, but Mr. Shulman turned out to be no help at all, telling committee members that he only knew one thing for certain, and that was that he bore no personal responsibility for the creation of the list targeting Tea Party and other conservative groups for blanket audits and other illegal types of scrutiny, or for denying such groups tax exempt status on the basis of ridiculously elevated or contrived criteria. So—no help there!

The committee next called Deputy Secretary of the Treasury Neal Wolin who told the incredulous assemblage that he could find “no indication” that the Treasury Department was involved—a claim that struck even Democrats like Stephen Lynch as so bizarre that Inspector General J Russell George was called in to straighten things out, but George’s testimony amounted to saying, in so many words, that whatever Wolin said was okay with him.

The Piece Resistantly speaks…

The pièce de résistance was next, however, as star witness Lois Lerner took the hot seat.  Lerner was the obvious key witness in the proceedings, she being the head of the office that oversees applications for tax exempt status from the Internal Revenue Service. She was also the IRS official who took it upon herself for somewhat mysterious reasons to volunteer an apology earlier in the month at a meeting of American Bar Association in which she admitted that the IRS had been busily targeting Tea Party groups as well as groups with “patriot” in their names, groups stating a desire to educate people about the U.S. Constitution or taxation, groups saying they wanted to “make America a better place to live,” or groups that criticized how the country was being run.  Lerner is also the woman who took point for the Clinton administration back in the ‘90s when it sued the Christian Coalition, and lost.  Lerner was the woman who told the ABA that she didn’t reveal the IRS’s witch hunt for Tea Party groups sooner because she was “never asked,” even though she’d been asked about precisely this matter two days earlier by Congressman Joseph Crowley (D-NY) and ducked the question.

The pièce de résistance resists! Lerner tells the Congress she's totally innocent and will not be taking questions.

The pièce de résistance resists! Lerner tells the Congress she’s totally innocent and will not be taking questions.

Now, looking demure in a grey jacket, black slacks, and carefully coiffed hair, Lerner gave an opening statement, boldly declaring, “I have not done anything wrong, I have not broken any laws. I have not violated any IRS rules or regulations, and I have not provided false information to this or any other congressional committee.”  Everyone assumed that the game was on at this point, but everyone assumed wrong. Having asserted her perfect and absolute innocence on every count, Lerner then proceeded to invoke the Fifth Amendment, presumably on the grounds that she might otherwise tend to incriminate herself. Dear readers, WOOF could not make this stuff up if it wanted to.

So…quo vadis?

And thus we lurch as a nation into a long memorial-day weekend, during which respite it is expected by the Administration and many pundits and prognosticators on both sides of the aisle that we will go back to concerning ourselves with more important stuff, like whether Jodi Arias will get the death penalty, whether Amanda Bynes was really sexually assaulted by police after tossing her bong out of her thirty-seventh floor apartment, and how we all feel about Jennifer Aniston playing a stripper in her new film. Fortunately, WOOF can answer these questions accurately right now: “She won’t; she wasn’t; who cares?”  See? That was easy—and with those issues out of the way, we can get back to thinking about a rogue agency that under President Obama’s sinister control has proven itself a menace to our liberties, our livelihoods, and our Constitutional heritage.

Even the Beatles warned us about the taxman!

Even the Beatles warned us about the taxman!

Back in 1951 the magnificent American industrialist and patriot Vivien Kellems got it exactly right when she wrote that, “There is absolutely no power granted in the Constitution which enables a top-heavy bureaucracy of empty-headed simpletons, and worse, to invade the privacy of the American people in such a monstrous manner.” And that was during the Truman administration! Vivien Kellems checked out in 1975, sad to say, but the IRS is still around. So in between drone overflights, email scandals, gun grabs, foreign policy disasters, and continuing economic misery, let’s take a few moments out this summer to fix the tax system, okay?  We could ask the President to fix it, but he’s pretty busy trying to find out who’s behind the drone overflights, email scandals, gun grabs, foreign policy disasters, and the awful economy. So how about the Heritage Foundation? We bet they could fix the tax system in about a week—assuming they’re out from under audit by now! WOOF PRINT


Vivien Kellems: Patriot, Industrialist, tax resistor, American heroine.  And we’re stuck with Lois Lerner. (Sigh.)

Nobama?? WOOF’s crack psychic predicts TRAINWRECK 2013!

In "Unfinished Waffles" forum on May 8, 2013 at 12:13 pm


Well, here we go again, relying on the psychic and occult powers of our very own Dr. Gootensteiner Johannes Walters, resident of beautiful, faraway Zug, Switzerland, and WOOF’s very own seer, prophesier and mystic, providing psychic services exclusively to Watchdogs of Our Freedom since—well—since about 6 months ago when we put him in charge of our Occult Divinations Division (ODD). Now, as a glance at Dr. Walters’s previous contributions to our pages will suffice to demonstrate, our staff prophet has racked up a pretty good record and helped WOOF in its efforts to report the news before it actually happens, as we did with the Republican budgetary collapse back in December (which see).  In fact, we can honestly say, the good Doctor is batting darned near a thousand.

Dr. Walters stresses his point.

Dr. Walters stresses his point…”Gone-zo!”

Nevertheless, when the Doctor approached us with his latest psychic afflatus, we confess we were torn as to whether we should broach it to our beloved readers, especially given the dramatic nature of its content. We wish to emphasize that only the broadest aspects of what we are about to assert reflect Dr. Walters’s actual divinations, and the rest of our article is purely speculative—or rather, the facts we confidently adduce for your perusal are firm, but whether they will constitute contributing factors to the outcome so confidently predicted by Doctor Goot’ (as we affectionately refer to him) remains to be seen! Okay, let’s be clear, or as Richard Milhous Nixon would say, let us be perfectly clear. When we splashed this piece as the prediction of a train wreck, we were not predicting a literal train wreck…no, WOOF was waxing metaphoric, beloved readers—but perhaps you sensed that? For indeed, the train wreck that Dr. Walters is now insisting will occur this year, and he bets his best turban on it by the way, is nothing of any less moment than the collapse of the Obama Administration in its entirety—as in, to use Dr. Walters’s term, “gone-zo…” (is that Swiss?), and we will be the first to admit this seems unlikely in the extreme.  Indeed, we would not consider giving voice to the prediction were it not for Dr. Goot’s overwhelming level of certitude, the adamancy with which he advanced his views, and his near-perfect oracular record!

Doc Goot emphasizes that the "train wreck" will be an organizational problem.

Dr. Walters emphasizes that the “train wreck” will be an organizational problem.

One thing both Dr. W and we here in the WOOF cave wish to emphasize is that the Doctor’s psychic vision is of organizational failure and political discomfiture.  Nobody should read into this prediction that any physical harm is foreseen in any way shape or form for the President or any of his people—this is not what the Doctor is predicting. He has predicted a political disaster, and insists that no taint of violence besmirches his fatidic vision, just a lot of governmental wreckage—otherwise WOOF would not report the story, first because we are conscientious, ethical right-wing wackos  and secondly because we know how many of our readers experience overwhelming panic at the thought of a Biden presidency!

biden 2016

So what is Dr. Walters’s prediction exactly? Well, he was apparently doing some “distance viewing” last weekend—whatever that is– and realized that the Obama Administration, qua the Obama Administration, cannot be viewed as an organizational entity beyond 2013. According to Dr. Goot, there is a massive cloud of turmoil engulfing the entire concept of Obama-ism as a sociopolitical proposition, and then…the future depicts nothing. Well, for Obama-ism, that is. He told us that Obama can be distance viewed beyond this point, but not in conjunction with the White House or American politics. He told us a lot of other stuff, too—but we didn’t really understand any of it. So naturally we asked Dr. Walters if there was some indication as to the cause of this stunning disintegration of the twice-elected government of the First Marxist, and Dr. Walters assured us that he could see only what he saw, and nothing further. Imagine our frustration. So what were we to do with this trance-induced tidbit, gentle readers?  We thought long and hard and then concluded that we would present the prediction as such, and then present our 3 best guesses as to how it might unfold. And what if it doesn’t unfold as predicted? Well, we here at WOOF despise polls—you know, the kind you can do on your blog site or web page—because we never look to polls to shape our notoriously infidelic views, so who needs them? But in this case, in the event that Dr. Gootensteiner Johannes Walters should prove incorrect, we may institute a poll to determine what our readers believe his fate should be; i.e., should he be ejected from WOOF ignominiously, or simply removed from his directorship of ODD, or retained on the basis of past performance, or just what?  Meanwhile, assuming he’s on target with this latest and most ambitious prediction, what on earth could lead to such a comeuppance for the ‘Bamster? What follows are WOOF’s three best guesses as to what may be about to ensue!

One of three: The train wreck that dares to speak its name:

Max Baucus sees that train a-comin'!

Max Baucus–he sees that train a-comin’!

Certainly the most conspicuous “train wreck” looming in Our Beloved Leader’s future is the on-rushing catastrophe that will be National Health Care! All by itself it threatens to nuke the entire Democrat brand, and Democrats are beginning to sense this. Most notably, Max Baucus, chairman of the high-powered Senate Finance Committee, took a moment out of his busy day to think about the impending ObamaCare fiasco and remark, “I just see a huge train wreck coming down!” Wow, Max—what a shame this didn’t occur to you sooner—like while you were playing an instrumental role in cramming the whole thing down our throats!  But other Democrats are beginning to realize that stuff really happens when you flush the greatest system of medical care in history down the toilet and replace it with the North Korean model. Senator Ron Wyden (D-Oregon) joined the ranks of the officially concerned last week, observing that young people are liable to act up once they see their insurance rates “shoot up.” Of course the threat of spiking insurance rates among voters perturbs Wyden only, it seems, in that adorably self-interested way particular to the ruling elites, as the Senator waxed shrillest upon realizing that, “this is going to wash into the United States Senate in a hurry!”


Wyden succumbs to solipsistic dread.

Even unions are beginning to comprehend the blow they’ll be dealt. For example, the United Union of Roofers, Waterproofers and Allied Workers is now urging repeal of ObamaCare—because they just realized it will put American workers out of business. How can medical care put workers out of business? Simple—it teams up with Obama’s equally wonderful immigration reform bill, which grants 11 million illegal aliens  “provisional legal status” to remain stateside and obtain jobs—but did we mention they aren’t obligated to get health insurance? So what sort of wing nut would hire a citizen, with all the red tape and expense that entails, when provisional aliens are so handy?

Many aliens sit around jobless--but becoming provisional aliens will change all that!

Many aliens sit around jobless–but becoming provisional aliens will change all that!

Just in general, the 4,000 page monstrosity that is the “Affordable Care Act” adds up to disaster. The Society of Actuaries is estimating that “affordable health” will raise the  cost of individual plans on exchanges more than 80% in many states… and of course we’ll also enjoy the customary socialist trimmings, namely higher taxes, higher premiums, punishing cuts in Medicare, the disintegration of private insurance companies, loss of access to doctors, the destruction of our already badly bludgeoned economy by the overwhelming debt of socialized medical treatment for 300 million Americans, and, last but not least, Death Panels, which will come with bureaucratic control of your medical decisions. They’ll probably call them something cheerfully paradoxical though, like maybe “Life Choice,” or, “Outward Bound!” (No wait, that’s taken, right?)

NEWSWEEK floats a balloon-- but then they pulled the plug on NEWSWEEK.

NEWSWEEK floated the balloon– but then they pulled the plug on NEWSWEEK.

So is ObamaCare the likely undoing of Our Beloved Helmsman’s five-year anti-American rampage? Well, it certainly will shake things up, that’s for sure. But does it fit the prophecy? By definition, no, since the full poop storm isn’t scheduled to hit us until 2014, and Doc Goot’s augury is for 2013. And there is little indication that public awareness could trigger a reaction before the event. Consider that recent polls have shown that four out of ten Americans have no clue that the Affordable Care Act is the law of the land. Twelve percent of our countrymen think Congress repealed it. Seven percent think the Supreme Court overturned it despite Justice Roberts’s last-minute fit of the vapors, and 23 percent admit they have no idea. If this level of ignorance disheartens you, dear readers, WOOF feels your pain (click here to see possible explanation), but it remains difficult to see the train wreck of health care as the likely agent of Obama’s political demise.

Two of three: Benghazi and the whole Arab kerfuffle

Now here’s the proverbial shite brick in the punch bowl, beloved readers! To review, in case some readers are coming to us from the major networks, Benghazi is a city in Libya where, on the night of September 11, 2012, heavily armed Al Qaeda operatives overran the American Consulate and a nearby annex killing Ambassador Chris Stevens, and three other Americans during an eight hour battle while the Obama administration did nothing whatsoever (see previous report). And despite the best efforts of a Liberal Media Establishment whose collective purpose is now to spike the news rather than report it (sort of like the fire department in Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 started fires instead of putting them out), some tenacious congressmen have kept the spotlight on this enormity. And now the whistle blowers are showing up on the Hill!

Hill' on the Hill--what difference does it make?!

Hill’ on the Hill–what difference does it make?!

We know now that Hillary Clinton (whom Tina Brown taught us to call “Her Magnificence”) worked her fingers to the bone yanking all references to Al Qaeda out of the signals traffic, and even tried to cut her own counter-terrorism bureau out of the loop, for reasons that remain mysterious. Further allegations regarding Her Magnificence are known to be forthcoming, including testimony by former State Department employees who say they were subjected to threats intended to discourage them from talking to congress or the press. Her Magnificence, meanwhile, has attempted to establish that she was absent during the Benghazi disaster, and later misled by the Intelligence Community as to its nature. But WOOF knows that Mrs. Clinton was very much present and on the job during the attack on her embassy, busily deleting all references to Al Qaeda, shutting down all information that should normally have gone to her own counter-terrorism units, and helping to invent the bizarre story that the attack comprised a few local hotheads incensed over the creation of a film about Mohammed—a film that nobody ever saw or heard of until the Obama Whitehouse fingered it as culpable in the entire matter. Thus equipped with the thinnest, least plausible cover story since dogs first ate homework, the Regime shoved its U.N. ambassador, Susan Rice, out to destroy her career by appearing on every Liberal Media outlet over that weekend repeating the palpable balderdash that the consulate came under attack because of a YouTube video. And let it not be forgotten that Rappin’ Preezy Himself stood before the assembled United Nations and repeated the whole idiotic story, replete with bilious effusions in defense of free speech (even as the hapless filmmaker was tracked down and clapped in prison, where he remains to this day—America’s only authentic political prisoner).

The infamous film maker -WOOF's 2012 person of year!

The infamous film maker -WOOF’s 2012 person of year!

WOOF knows that this story is only beginning to break, and that the long term revelations, if they are permitted to transpire, will be devastating to the Obama Regime, as well as Mrs. Clinton, whose entire tenure as Secretary of State was an unmitigated catastrophe. WOOF also knows that two other sore points of a Middle Eastern origin are beginning to develop traction and threaten the Presidential image. First, the President’s inability to make good on his threat to intervene in Syria if chemical weapons were used has caused him to appear craven even to those who are not routinely perceptive of this trait in his character, and the explanation for his reluctance is simple and formulaic. The President supports any Middle Eastern initiative that is rabidly anti-American (as in Libya and Egypt) and refuses to intervene in any Middle Eastern initiative that might prove authentically democratic or pro-American (as in Iran or Syria). Why? The President is a communist, gentle readers. We keep telling you this, but we know it’s hard for many of you to accept.

Meanwhile, back at the mosque….

Saudi contact Alharbi, just before he was never a suspect.

Saudi contact Alharbi, just before he was never a suspect.

Oh, and then there’s the papered-over Saudi connection to the Boston terror bombings. WOOF believes the Marathon bombings were largely engineered and orchestrated by Saudi operatives, fronted by party boy Abdul Rahman Ali Alharbi, who was arrested the day of the attack and whose family is known to maintain connections with Al Qaeda. But on the day of the attack, hasty and confidential meetings were held involving the President, Janet Napolitano, and Secretary of State John Kerry with various highly-placed Saudi officials. In the immediate wake of these meetings, Alharbi was sheep dipped, as they say at CIA.  In other words, his record was cleansed of all incriminating details.  In one swell foop, Alharbi was removed from the no-fly list, and his 212 (3b) file—the least equivocal of all terrorist classifications assignable by the National Targeting Center (NTC), was caused to disappear in a puff of blue smoke. Alharbi, who was slightly wounded in the explosions in Boston, was originally held under arrest. It was at this point that CNN’s news reader, John King, was correctly informed by his trusted police source that a suspect was in custody and it was an Arab—a Saudi. In the name of political correctness, however, King could not bring himself to report the news, blubbering, “I’m making a personal judgment — forgive me, I think it’s the right judgment — not to try to inflame tensions,” but, King finally admitted, “they say it’s a dark-skinned male. I’m gonna stop there.” (He couldn’t quite make himself say “Arab.”)

Janet Napolitano

Secretary Napolitano: “…full with misstatements!”

Meanwhile, Alharbi went from being under arrest to being a suspect to being a person of interest to being a wounded bystander. Busy day. Next, he was to be “deported” (read: exfiltrated) , but Glenn Beck took such dogged possession of the story on his radio and television broadcasts that suddenly Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano announced that he, Alharbi,  was not being deported, was never about to be deported, and was really somebody else anyway, not who Beck thought he was. When Congressman Jeff Duncan (R-SC) evinced sufficient temerity to ignore this bilge and simply ask Napolitano why she had, in fact, been about to deport a foreign national who only days before was the top suspect in the Boston Marathon bombings, Madam Secretary was driven to fresh heights of eloquence, replying, “I’m not going to answer that question. That question is so full with misstatements and misapprehensions that it is not worthy of an answer. There’s been so much reported on this that’s been wrong, I can’t even begin to tell you!” (And so she didn’t!) Might the Middle East contain the seeds of Our Beloved Helmsman’s discomfiture? It is certainly a possibility—and Her Magnificence isn’t looking too good here either!

Three of three—the Martian connection!

Recently Bernard Mendez (right) divulged that he too is a "jump room" veteran who remembers meeting young Obama on Mars.

Recently Bernard Mendez (left) divulged that he too is a “jump room” veteran who remembers meeting young Obama on Mars.

Yes, we here at WOOF were inclined to disregard this one, until we heard it officially denied by Tommy Vietor, the spokesman for the National Security Council. Then we began to wonder. And when Major Ed Dames, formerly of the Army’s Project Star Gate (a distance viewing and psychic warfare program sponsored by the Central Intelligence Agency) denied having prepared future sojourners on Mars for their odyssey during training and orientation sessions held at California’s College of the Siskiyous in 1980, we became even more interested. Of course, all the details of Project Pegasus, the DARPA project to teleport earth residents to the red planet, are entirely classified. Normally, one would not have expected a single hint of its existence to slip into the information stream—but Andrew Basiago, a successful Washington-state lawyer turned whistle blower, came forward in 2008 to say that he was part of the project. Basiago initially attempted to document his experiences through learned treatises on the topography and fauna of Mars which he submitted to the National Geographic Society, but the Society, understandably, thought he was insane. Frustrated, Basiago “outed” himself publicly through a series of media interviews in which he revealed the truth about his teenage years spent in large part, he insisted, transporting between the CIA “jump room” in El Segundo, and the surface of Mars. And among Basiago’s most controversial claims: his class of trainees included a young man called Barry Soetoro, otherwise known as Barack Obama. No sooner had the National Security Counsel denied that President Obama was part of a clandestine program to colonize Mars than a second graduate of Project Pegasus came forward in the person of William Stillings who averred, “I can confirm that Andrew D. Basiago and Barack Obama (then using the name “Barry Soetoro”) were in my Mars training course in Summer 1980 and that during the time period 1981 to 1983, I encountered Andy, Courtney M. Hunt of the CIA, and other Americans on the surface of Mars after reaching Mars via the jump room in El Segundo.”

Irwin Allen's TV show "The Time Tunnel" may have been based on Project Pegasus!

Irwin Allen’s  mid-60s TV show “The Time Tunnel” may have been based on Project Pegasus!

Subsequently a number of others have come forward as well, many boasting academic degrees and professional associations that WOOF has not been able to confirm—but before you dismiss these additional witnesses, bear in mind that the jump room was, according to all who claim knowledge of it, a time relocation device, as well as a transportation tool! Yes, dear readers, as we have told you in our Science and the Paranormal section, Barack Obama may be a chrononaut, which would enable him, for example, to erase the academic records and curricula vitae of certain individuals even before they existed—or hide his own records of birth someplace on Mars, or drop them off somewhere before he was actually born. Yes, and a chrononaut could exist several times, over and over, in various life experiments until settling on one that resulted in the American Presidency, which might explain why Our Beloved Helmsman has so many issues involving various social security cards assigned to him, including one that gives evidence of originating in Connecticut, where he never lived or worked—but may have lived and worked in an alternative life experiment.  In fact, the President may have been born in Hawaii after or before he was born in Kenya, right? Truly, once one factors chrononautics into the game, there is no end to what might be hidden, recreated, altered or achieved! The mind boggles, does it not?

Well, we’re here!


Obama allegedly made his first jump to Mars at the age of nineteen–although he does not appear to be on Mars in this photo.

Okay, so what WOOF is really by way of suggesting here, as our third category of potential deal breakers for the Obama Administration, and placing under the Martian rubric for conversation’s sake, is what we might more generally call the weirdness factor. Something about the meteoric rise to incompetence of Barack Hussein Obama is simply weird…and one need not believe any specific item on the list to acknowledge that the list seems far too lengthy and far too murky in far too many ways to amount to nothing. From the bizarre assortment of social security numbers to the hermetically sealed college transcripts to the suppressed college essays to the belatedly supplied birth certificate that many experts have declared fraudulent, (including the Israel Science and Technology website), to the striking paucity of anyone who knew Obama in Hawaii…what’s going on? Why did his own grandmother say he was born in Kenya? Why do press brochures for his first book say the same thing? Can he be considered a natural citizen when his father was a British Subject? Why does his autobiography describe a girlfriend who turns out not to have existed, obliging the President to admit he made up a composite girlfriend? How did he manage to listen to Jeremiah Wright spew antisemitism, racism, anti-Americanism and Liberation Theology for 20 years but never hear a word of it—and yet quote a good deal of it in his book, Dreams from my Father?

Barry Soetoro arrives on mars-- what's in the sack, Barry? Is it still up there?

Barry Soetoro arrives on mars– what’s in the sack, Barry? Is it still up there?

Why does he refuse to share his health records, or allow a glimpse of his passport? Why do Columbia University’s records show that he graduated with a BA in 1991, but Obama says he attended in 1981? Why does leaked FBI information suggest Obama was in Pakistan in 1981—and okay, if he’s a chrononaut this could make sense, but otherwise it’s a major discrepancy, isn’t it? In fact, when one objectively reviews the nearly endless tangle of contradictory details constituting Our Beloved Helmsman’s biography, one is left to conclude that the only plausible alternative to an inference of deception is the availability of time travel as an optional explanation. If we are inclined to accept the testimony of, say, Robert Dean (another ostensible witness to the Pegasus project) about probes to past and future events, including time reviews conducted by “teleportation and chronovision” then Obama’s participation in Mars exploration and his time-line of twisted inconsistencies actually make sense. Otherwise?  Otherwise we see a treasure trove of damnatory irregularities begging to be vetted by an awakened press corps—and as the events in Benghazi and the cruel realities of ObamaCare become inescapably obvious, the media may at least consider taking a discreet peak. (Or maybe not.) We here at WOOF, meanwhile, are not wholly prepared to abandon the Project Pegasus story. Certain elements of it, properly considered, contain a persuasive verisimilitude. Take for example Basiago’s account of “jumping” from El Segundo to Mars with the 19-year-old Obama. His remembrance of the event precisely encapsulates the wit and observational acuity that even today defines our President—could Basiago simply confect conversations that ring so true? For example, he vividly recalls the doors of the jump chamber rolling open, recalls standing there with the future president as together they gazed upon the vast revealed vistas of Mars, and remembers Obama’s words to him on that occasion: “Well, we’re here.”


“Well–we’re here!”

The RINOs are restless–so WOOF scans the Bushes and decides a WARNING is in order!

In "Christine in '16" forum on May 2, 2013 at 9:09 am

rino splash

 “Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice.” –Tom Paine

Something slow and big is happening in the media, and WOOF has a sickly feeling that it will not be to the Nation’s benefit—no, WOOF does not like it, not one little bit. We also have a theory that nobody dumb or unserious enough to endorse Barack Obama for the presidency either last year or in 2008 can be plausibly engaged in pronouncing on what may best enable the Republic to recover (if it is, indeed to recover) from his treasonable abuse of the military, the exchequer, and the Constitution. We think now of Christopher Buckley, who proved that the apple can fall acres from the tree by reading Obama’s autobiography, and declaring himself an Obama supporter because “He is that rara avis, the politician who writes his own books. Imagine.” Well, of course one would have to imagine, because the assertion is plainly humbug. We realize now that Obama doesn’t even give his own speeches, they are projected for his annoyingly clipped verbalization onto the Presidential Teleprompter, without which technology he is virtually incoherent, besides which his first (and only readable) book was ghosted for him by terror bomber Bill Ayers. But Buckley scored big with the bi-coastal élites for mocking his pop and endorsing a palpable subversive for the Nations highest office, and if he escaped having his own highly paid TV program on CNN or MSNBC, it is only because his erudition remained at a level that would have left the fan base of Blitzer, Colbert, or Ed Schmidt mystified. WOOF predicts that Mr. Buckley’s voice will be among the many calling for moderation and civility as the election of 2016 approaches.

Christopher Buckley--"Sorry, dad!"

Christopher Buckley–“Sorry, dad!”

Avoid moderation at all costs!

Peggy Noonan--in whom hope has faded!

Peggy Noonan–in whom hope has faded!

Peggy Noonan, of whom WOOF was once intensely fond, will never have her own show on MSNBC or anywhere else in the vast wasteland because her breathy, dewy-eyed histrionics defy Marshall McLuhan’s cool-medium injunction and put one in mind, from an auditory standpoint, of ABC’s chronically hyperventilating Anne Compton—alas. But if sheer perfidy were sufficient to earn the slot, she’d be the princess of prime time. Not only did she ensure her media status by endorsing Obama in 2008, she routinely obliged the networks and liberal dailies by sniping at poor Romney over the course of his ill-starred 2012 campaign. Noonan, sad to say, has learnt the lesson of eternal popularity and uninterrupted screen time in an era of liberal media dominance—just be a verifiable Republican (loyal Reaganite, Reagan speech writer) who is willing to berate other Republicans, preferably those to the right of John McCain, while affecting to be reasonable. Lately we have columnist Kathleen Parker nobly averring “It’s time to denounce the harsh partisans who feed on polarization—it’s time to give independents a voice.” A voice? All anybody seems to worry about is independents! How about worrying about America, Kathleen?

Let us not dwell here on the irony that the only “harsh partisans” Kathleen Parker is likely to concern herself with henceforth will be on the Right…

Kathleen Parker--report any incivility to her!

Kathleen Parker–aka Miss Manners. Report any incivilities to her!

Or the fact that this will present a comparative challenge since evidence of harsh incivility on the Right is almost always inferred through deliberate misinterpretation or through a surreal indifference to context (e.g., Limbaugh’s “phony soldiers” remark, or Palin’s alleged responsibility for the wounding of Gabrielle Giffords), while the vast majority of rampaging extremists are on the Left- where their seething obloquy is studiedly ignored. This inconsistency is never acknowledged on the Left where the liberal worldview pretermits any recognition of extremists like Reed, Pelosi, Van Jones, Michael Moore, Al Gore or, indeed, the likes of Hugo Chavez who was eulogized following his delinquent departure from this temporal veil by every liberal who could put his hankie down long enough to man a keyboard.

In this contrived earnestness for moderation, the planted axiom is a head fake. The notion that both sides have to meet in the middle is a con because the Left defines the middle. Converts like Michael Smerconish, who recently discovered that conservatism was “contributing to incivility and gridlock,” and David Gergen, who more or less pioneered the squishy Republican middle, mumble inanities ostensibly “from the middle ground” and the Leftist News Media shower them with encomia and proclaim them “wise” for bravely approaching the wondrous center. Indeed, the liberal media are fuming, currently over the absence of moderate Republicans, but in reality it is hard to throw a rock without hitting a cluster of them! Once again, contrary to all reason, the Republicans even ran a moderate for the Presidency—and once again they were defeated. It is the moderate Democrat who must be presumed extinct in the wake of health care’s passage…but the disappearance of this particular species bothers the Left not one iota. Instead, the Left exhorts centrism of a nature so mutated from what any reasonable individual might envision as to defy plausibility, and only the Right is beckoned thither. What the Left calls centrism is nothing more than workaday liberalism lowered a few decibels and dressed up like David Brooks.

David Brooks: Maybe he should've written in Chris Buckley?

David Brooks: Maybe he should’ve written in Chris Buckley?

Another plot? Another plot!

It is with all this in mind that WOOF must turn its attention, briefly, we hope, to a newly risen plot on the sinistral fringe, once again manifesting itself as the sensible middle. That anybody might fall for this may seem incredible to the average pig farmer or supermarket cashier, but in the febrile climes of Bloomberg’s New York and that enchanted realm inside the Beltway, the notion that Republicans must reach toward the center in order to succeed is as rampant as Chlamydia in a bordello. And via this hoax are transmitted numerous conspiracies to finish off the conservative cause—and a favorite game of this nature is that of ensuring the nomination of presidential candidates who cannot compete effectively against determined radicals of the Left. Men like Gerald Ford, Bob Dole, John McCain and Mitt Romney come fleetly to mind in this regard. Naturally, once the left has baited the Republican establishment into nominating some hapless moderate, they switch and vilify the nominee whom only the day before they hailed as sensible and electable, ranting suddenly that he is craven, heartless, and impossibly reactionary. A corollary scam is the use of the left wing’s monopoly on media to persuade any American with ears that any Republican to the right of, say, David Frum, is a hopelessly moronic Neanderthal, and an embarrassment to all true conservatives living and dead. This might as well be called “Palinization,” so effectively was it worked upon the former governor of Alaska.

Palin--well known psycho ditz, obviously planning her next mass shooting!

Palin–well known psycho ditz, obviously planning her next mass shooting!

So all we need to do, Woofketeers, is watch our TVs, go to the movies, turn on the radio or pick up a newspaper and we will be amply persuaded that the best and only viable Republican nominee for the presidency in 2016 will be some quasi-progressive milquetoast, whereas whomever you or we might prefer to nominate would embarrass the party, the country, and quite possibly the planet given how dumb, naive, and out of touch that person will repeatedly be said to be. We will find ourselves saying of a Sarah Palin, a Michele Bachmann, or yes, even the amazing Christine O’Donnell, (WOOF’s perpetual candidate for everything) “well, they’re just not electable!” And the news personalities and the pollsters and the wise men of the center will be right there jabbering, “Amen, amen, amen!” And this terrible, strength-sapping process is once again engaged, fellow patriots, in a manner destructive of our national interest! Have you noticed a strange confluence of events?

Palin, Paul. Bachmann and O'Donnell--all sadly un-electable according to the Obama Media...so we get Jeb?

Palin, Paul. Bachmann and O’Donnell–all sadly unelectable according to the Obama Media…so we get Jeb?

What’s up with that?

News item: On the 25th of this month, the George W. Bush presidential library opened in Dallas Texas with the President and every living former president in attendance, and  Bill Clinton said nice things about W, and even the normatively venomous Jimmy Carter allowed as how W’s humanitarian efforts in Africa were laudable and went so far as to credit him with saving countless lives.

News item: A spat of polls suddenly appeared indicating that while Bush had left the White House (booed vociferously by the insensate throngs as he exited on the day of Our Beloved Leader’s coronation) at a popularity rating of only 23% positive, he has now added twenty points to that score—without lifting a finger, really—and is rated positively by around 43% of Americans—even-steven with the current President, who continues to lose ground despite the most hortatory press coverage of any world leader since Prester John.

News item: It transpires that George W. Bush paints—pictures, that is. The media are bursting with stories about this undiscovered dimension of the man—his private, sensitive side. Diane Sawyer, the official den mom of “cope” television, was agog at this evidence of his depth of personality. She hadn’t looked so simultaneously astonished and delighted since discovering that the tsunami survivors in Japan were still recycling.

W shows off one of his paintings--(it's a dog)

W shows off one of his paintings–(it’s a dog)

News item: Former President George W. Bush made it clear that he considered his younger brother, Jeb, to be the optimal choice for the 2016 Republican nomination, adding, “He would be great. He’d be a marvelous candidate if he chooses to do so. He doesn’t need my counsel ’cause he knows what it is, which is ‘run.’”

News Item: Last Thursday morning, NBC’s Matt Lauer asked former first lady Barbara Bush whether she wanted to see her son, Jeb, run for president in 2016. ”He’s by far the best qualified man,” she said, “But no, I really don’t.” (Mom’s are supposed to say that, right?)

News item: Writing for The Washington Post blog, “The Fix,” Chris Cillizza exclaimed that “No one doubts that if he ran, Jeb Bush would start the race as the GOP front-runner by dint of his record as governor, his policy chops and the power that his last name conveys in Republican politics.” Really, Chris, and you looked all over the place and you discovered that no one doubts this? Gentle readers, this is not how news is reported, it is how news is created.

News item: Jeb Bush has written a book.

Well, half a book, anyhow. There's still time for a whole one!

Well, half a book, anyhow. There’s still time for a whole one!

Do we see where this is headed?

Make no mistake, gentle readers, WOOF is happy about W’s renaissance. No President was ever more maligned, traduced, and deliberately misrepresented to the American public than Bush 43 —and there were no Democrat centrists calling for an end to the nasty jokes, the accusations, the conspiracy theories, or the allegations of deceit, not to mention insane imputations of genocidal duplicity in the wake of hurricane Katrina. WOOF agrees that it’s nice to see the American public at last overcoming the agitprop and getting Bush 43 in belated perspective—but it is worrisome to see how much help in this regard is coming suddenly from the Left. Presidential historian Douglas Brinkley pretended to explain the sudden sea change with the standard persiflage, telling Americans that “We pummel presidents when they’re in the White House,” and suggesting that Bush’s reputation was overdue for a surge. But his assessment, reported dutifully even by FOX News, is pure bologna. The fact is, only Republican presidents are subjected to this level of vitriol, and no one previously in history, not even Nixon, endured it to the extent that it was heaped on W—and this mainly because the media establishment, which began as implicitly liberal during the Eisenhower administration and progressed during the post Vietnam decade to intensely liberal, swung into full blown bombastic liberalism during the Bush 43 era…and thence into the brain-dead rubber-stamp mode with which it greeted the election of Our Beloved Helmsman. All that said, the elites appear to be scheming again, and they may suppose themselves to have laid hold of the next Romney/McCain/Dole-style patsy.

Jeb considers 2016

Jeb considers 2016

Jeb Bush is the perfect Republican candidate if you scan the horizon from the political left. And make no mistake, the Republican National Committee scans the horizon from that vantage point just as surely as does the DNC. One can easily forecast the media working in close combination with its bosses in the DNC and an utterly complicit batch of country-club Republican kingmakers to make the nomination of Jeb Bush appear inevitable as 2016 approaches, just as his brother’s suddenly seemed in 2000.  WOOF must take polite exception for the following reasons:

First, while Jeb would be vastly preferable to Obama or Hillary, (or Biden, in case anybody takes that possibility seriously), there are at least four exceptional and authentically conservative candidates who would prove (no matter what the sovietized American media tell us), far more electable in 2016 than another Bush, especially considering how swiftly the press will turn on the Bush Dynasty the moment they have their candidates in place. No more nice remarks about paintings, no more warm recollections of lives saved at home or abroad—only the renewed drumbeat of antipathy and blame. Was it not thus with John McCain, who entered the presidential race in ’08 foolishly persuaded that the media adored him?

Why avoid the Bushes?

So what’s so bad about a Bush dynasty in American politics? Why is WOOF sounding alarm bells? First, let’s examine the record. Was W a conservative president? Of course liberals all think so, for the same reason they labor under the misapprehension that Nixon was a conservative—because he was a Republican and he wasn’t a socialist, or in Nixon’s case, not exactly a socialist. But that’s where the resemblance stops. In Bush’s case there is the admirable fact that he understood supply-side economics, consistently stimulating the economy with tax cuts—but he utterly ignored entitlement spending, and backed legislation that contributed to it. He doubled public spending in eight years, outspending Bill Clinton if only because Clinton was saved from economic disaster by  Newt Gingrich’s congress and brought to heel despite himself, thus reviving an economy he’d run into the ground during his first two years.


Bush’s unwillingness to seal the border with Mexico still baffles us at WOOF—was he simply sold on the open borders policy as a means of wooing Hispanic voters, or was he in the pocket of the New World Order, however conceived, or was he sticking up for business cronies who relied on cheap labor? WOOF is clueless (for once) but his obstinacy hurt America and served the purpose of liberalism. There is no indication that brother Jeb will not follow suit.


William F. Buckley Jr.–conservatism’s Prometheus.

In 2009 CBS News was happy to grant William F. Buckley Jr. a lengthy interview (by news bite standards) so that he could decry Bush 43’s spending habits and denounce his foreign policy as “indecipherable,” which is an excellent term for the morass Bush created in Iraq by arriving in Baghdad and turning out to have no follow through plan whatsoever other than to paint a bulls eye on his forces and hunker down. Syria should have fallen to converging Israeli and pivoting American forces within days of Baghdad,, but instead the Bush war makers seemed to go out of their way to mire themselves in an increasingly hostile Iraq, bereft of any vision for an attack on the terror exporters in Damascus, or of a follow-up exploitation of massive discontent in Iran that might have toppled that regime and ended its terrorist history. Instead, Bush left the war in the Middle East in that condition that Buckley labeled with exactitude.

Our point here is not that W was bad or stupid (which assertion we are content to leave to the Left), but rather that he was by no means conservative, by no means libertarian, and in matters of foreign policy very nearly Wilsonian, which is to say almost criminally idealistic. Let us not be herded further into the Bushes by a liberal scheme to defang the Right in 2016 and replace Palin or Paul (or O’Donnell!) with yet another innocuous center-leftist, which we very much regret to say is what Jeb Bush amounts to.


Communizing our schools?


We just heard him on NPR–they introduced him as “an educator.”

Jeb Bush’s ironically named Foundation for Excellence in Education is in the vanguard of the fight to keep the subversive, anti-American protocols of the Common Core educational format alive and flourishing in Florida—and elsewhere. Common Core is the latest mutation of the notorious CSCOPE (see our WOOF report) plot to brainwash American school children. It should be fought tooth and nail by every patriot, not promoted by Bush’s staffers! In a letter to the American Legislative Exchange Council’s board of directors, Patricia Levesque, executive director of Bush’s foundation, called the Common Core program a “crucial foundation” for reform and insisted that it will better prepare students for a globalized economy—which may be true. It will also turn our children into America-loathing, collectivized ignoramuses…which fact ought surely to have occurred to Jeb Bush at some juncture? There is no excuse that WOOF can think of for Bush’s support of this transparently communist stratagem. At best, Bush’s association with Common Core bespeaks sheer ignorance of the forces arrayed against the Republic at this crucial hour. More probably, it exposes the professional political class’s disconnect from the realities of the American vision, and reeks of elitism and internationalism—both of which, in case you haven’t noticed, WOOF opposes.

Ties to a One-World Cabal?

We all know by now that George Bush Senior liked to allude to the New World Order during his presidency. In a speech before congress on September 11, 1991 he spoke new worldglowingly of “a rare opportunity to move toward an historic period of cooperation” and suggested that “out of these troubled times…a New World Order can emerge.” And that wasn’t Senior’s first mention of the matter, either. In January of that year he lauded “the peace and democracy of the emerging New World Order we now see—this long-dreamed-of vision we’ve all worked toward for so long.” Huh? To borrow the punch line from that old Lone Ranger and Tonto joke: “What you mean we, kemosabe?”

Is the Bush family in league with the Internationalist Elites who threaten our sovereignty, our constitution, and our rights to self defense?  WOOF is forced to conclude that they are, at the very least, insufficiently concerned about exempting themselves from such supranational fraternities. Jeb Bush’s association with the infamous Council on Foreign Relations (shudder!) is a case in point, and Jeb’s opinion of Romney’s candidacy, according to his new book, is that Romney moved so far to the political right during the election, he lost the Hispanic vote.  Lost it? WOOF believes with Muddy Waters that ‘you can’t lose what you ain’t never had!’

And they might be reptiles!

David Icke--he knows if you're a space reptile!

David Icke–he knows if you’re a space reptile!

And if all the above isn’t enough to discourage you from falling in line with the media’s Jeb Bush initiative, consider this: The entire Bush family may actually be reptiles! Yes, British conspiracy expert, Green Party spokesman and BBC television personality, David Icke, has published extensive research indicating that blood-drinking reptilian aliens from the Alpha Draconis system have resided on our planet for centuries, inhabiting vast subterranean cities while conspiring against humankind. Icke has worked tirelessly to expose this interplanetary plot to enslave our species, and contends that many of the leaders on today’s world stage are actually shape-shifting “reptoids.” You may find this allegation difficult to credit, gentle readers, but consider this: Icke’s evidence is so compelling that a 2013 Public Policy Polling survey indicates that as many as 4% of America’s registered voters believe that reptiles from space have infiltrated positions of leadership worldwide. Among these reptilian infiltrators, according to Icke, are the Bush family, Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, Al Gore, the entire steering committee of the Bilderberger Group, Hillary Clinton, Kris Kristofferson, and Boxcar Willie. Alas, even the mind-bogglingly beautiful Jenna Bush is not immune from suspicion.

That’s right; clear, highly implicative video tape exists of Jenna absent-mindedly morphing into a lizard girl while being interviewed on FOX News, and while WOOF feels obliged by some semblance of conscience to refer our readers to the following site: alienpet for a complete discussion of how clandestine reptoids are unwittingly depicted by television cameras, we also want Jenna to know that even if she is a reptile, she’s definitely WOOF’s nominee for the most brilliantly inspired shape shifter on this planet or any other! But we digress…


Jenna turns reptoid on FOX–we still love her, though!

It’s not just four families or whatever!

WOOF is firmly convinced that the Liberal Establishment Media will conspire with the RNC establishment in Washington to place a non-conservative candidate at the top of the 2016 Republican ticket. This must not be permitted to occur. WOOF has great affection for the Bush clan, and likes Jeb a lot for a lot of reasons, but Jeb Bush is not the man who will lead us out of the Obama wilderness. At best, he would only make the wilderness more bearable.

And thus WOOF finds itself in the peculiar position of agreeing simultaneously, and on the same point, with Barbara Bush, Al Sharpton, and David Letterman; namely that America should “Stay out’n the Bushes!” to use Sharpton’s unforgettable epigram. Or as Jeb’s mom rather more benevolently put it, when asked why she would prefer her boy to resist the call, “We’ve had enough Bushes. It’s not just four families, or whatever.”

Exactly, Mrs. Bush! Exactly!

Christine O'Donnell looks to the future!  (If that guy could just get his shoulder out of the way!) and WOOF feels prompted to point out that our preferred candidate is not only the single Republican in the field who has publicly testified that she is not a witch, she is also nowhere on record as being accused of being a reptoid. We checked! Another good reason to make it Christine in '16!

Christine O’Donnell looks to the future! (If that guy could just get his shoulder out of the way!) And WOOF feels prompted to note that our preferred candidate is not only the single Republican in the field who has publicly testified that she is not a witch, she is also nowhere on record as being accused of being a reptoid. We checked! Another good reason to make it Christine in ’16!

%d bloggers like this: