WOOF! Watchdogs of Our Freedom

Nobama?? WOOF’s crack psychic predicts TRAINWRECK 2013!

In "Unfinished Waffles" forum on May 8, 2013 at 12:13 pm


Well, here we go again, relying on the psychic and occult powers of our very own Dr. Gootensteiner Johannes Walters, resident of beautiful, faraway Zug, Switzerland, and WOOF’s very own seer, prophesier and mystic, providing psychic services exclusively to Watchdogs of Our Freedom since—well—since about 6 months ago when we put him in charge of our Occult Divinations Division (ODD). Now, as a glance at Dr. Walters’s previous contributions to our pages will suffice to demonstrate, our staff prophet has racked up a pretty good record and helped WOOF in its efforts to report the news before it actually happens, as we did with the Republican budgetary collapse back in December (which see).  In fact, we can honestly say, the good Doctor is batting darned near a thousand.

Dr. Walters stresses his point.

Dr. Walters stresses his point…”Gone-zo!”

Nevertheless, when the Doctor approached us with his latest psychic afflatus, we confess we were torn as to whether we should broach it to our beloved readers, especially given the dramatic nature of its content. We wish to emphasize that only the broadest aspects of what we are about to assert reflect Dr. Walters’s actual divinations, and the rest of our article is purely speculative—or rather, the facts we confidently adduce for your perusal are firm, but whether they will constitute contributing factors to the outcome so confidently predicted by Doctor Goot’ (as we affectionately refer to him) remains to be seen! Okay, let’s be clear, or as Richard Milhous Nixon would say, let us be perfectly clear. When we splashed this piece as the prediction of a train wreck, we were not predicting a literal train wreck…no, WOOF was waxing metaphoric, beloved readers—but perhaps you sensed that? For indeed, the train wreck that Dr. Walters is now insisting will occur this year, and he bets his best turban on it by the way, is nothing of any less moment than the collapse of the Obama Administration in its entirety—as in, to use Dr. Walters’s term, “gone-zo…” (is that Swiss?), and we will be the first to admit this seems unlikely in the extreme.  Indeed, we would not consider giving voice to the prediction were it not for Dr. Goot’s overwhelming level of certitude, the adamancy with which he advanced his views, and his near-perfect oracular record!

Doc Goot emphasizes that the "train wreck" will be an organizational problem.

Dr. Walters emphasizes that the “train wreck” will be an organizational problem.

One thing both Dr. W and we here in the WOOF cave wish to emphasize is that the Doctor’s psychic vision is of organizational failure and political discomfiture.  Nobody should read into this prediction that any physical harm is foreseen in any way shape or form for the President or any of his people—this is not what the Doctor is predicting. He has predicted a political disaster, and insists that no taint of violence besmirches his fatidic vision, just a lot of governmental wreckage—otherwise WOOF would not report the story, first because we are conscientious, ethical right-wing wackos  and secondly because we know how many of our readers experience overwhelming panic at the thought of a Biden presidency!

biden 2016

So what is Dr. Walters’s prediction exactly? Well, he was apparently doing some “distance viewing” last weekend—whatever that is– and realized that the Obama Administration, qua the Obama Administration, cannot be viewed as an organizational entity beyond 2013. According to Dr. Goot, there is a massive cloud of turmoil engulfing the entire concept of Obama-ism as a sociopolitical proposition, and then…the future depicts nothing. Well, for Obama-ism, that is. He told us that Obama can be distance viewed beyond this point, but not in conjunction with the White House or American politics. He told us a lot of other stuff, too—but we didn’t really understand any of it. So naturally we asked Dr. Walters if there was some indication as to the cause of this stunning disintegration of the twice-elected government of the First Marxist, and Dr. Walters assured us that he could see only what he saw, and nothing further. Imagine our frustration. So what were we to do with this trance-induced tidbit, gentle readers?  We thought long and hard and then concluded that we would present the prediction as such, and then present our 3 best guesses as to how it might unfold. And what if it doesn’t unfold as predicted? Well, we here at WOOF despise polls—you know, the kind you can do on your blog site or web page—because we never look to polls to shape our notoriously infidelic views, so who needs them? But in this case, in the event that Dr. Gootensteiner Johannes Walters should prove incorrect, we may institute a poll to determine what our readers believe his fate should be; i.e., should he be ejected from WOOF ignominiously, or simply removed from his directorship of ODD, or retained on the basis of past performance, or just what?  Meanwhile, assuming he’s on target with this latest and most ambitious prediction, what on earth could lead to such a comeuppance for the ‘Bamster? What follows are WOOF’s three best guesses as to what may be about to ensue!

One of three: The train wreck that dares to speak its name:

Max Baucus sees that train a-comin'!

Max Baucus–he sees that train a-comin’!

Certainly the most conspicuous “train wreck” looming in Our Beloved Leader’s future is the on-rushing catastrophe that will be National Health Care! All by itself it threatens to nuke the entire Democrat brand, and Democrats are beginning to sense this. Most notably, Max Baucus, chairman of the high-powered Senate Finance Committee, took a moment out of his busy day to think about the impending ObamaCare fiasco and remark, “I just see a huge train wreck coming down!” Wow, Max—what a shame this didn’t occur to you sooner—like while you were playing an instrumental role in cramming the whole thing down our throats!  But other Democrats are beginning to realize that stuff really happens when you flush the greatest system of medical care in history down the toilet and replace it with the North Korean model. Senator Ron Wyden (D-Oregon) joined the ranks of the officially concerned last week, observing that young people are liable to act up once they see their insurance rates “shoot up.” Of course the threat of spiking insurance rates among voters perturbs Wyden only, it seems, in that adorably self-interested way particular to the ruling elites, as the Senator waxed shrillest upon realizing that, “this is going to wash into the United States Senate in a hurry!”


Wyden succumbs to solipsistic dread.

Even unions are beginning to comprehend the blow they’ll be dealt. For example, the United Union of Roofers, Waterproofers and Allied Workers is now urging repeal of ObamaCare—because they just realized it will put American workers out of business. How can medical care put workers out of business? Simple—it teams up with Obama’s equally wonderful immigration reform bill, which grants 11 million illegal aliens  “provisional legal status” to remain stateside and obtain jobs—but did we mention they aren’t obligated to get health insurance? So what sort of wing nut would hire a citizen, with all the red tape and expense that entails, when provisional aliens are so handy?

Many aliens sit around jobless--but becoming provisional aliens will change all that!

Many aliens sit around jobless–but becoming provisional aliens will change all that!

Just in general, the 4,000 page monstrosity that is the “Affordable Care Act” adds up to disaster. The Society of Actuaries is estimating that “affordable health” will raise the  cost of individual plans on exchanges more than 80% in many states… and of course we’ll also enjoy the customary socialist trimmings, namely higher taxes, higher premiums, punishing cuts in Medicare, the disintegration of private insurance companies, loss of access to doctors, the destruction of our already badly bludgeoned economy by the overwhelming debt of socialized medical treatment for 300 million Americans, and, last but not least, Death Panels, which will come with bureaucratic control of your medical decisions. They’ll probably call them something cheerfully paradoxical though, like maybe “Life Choice,” or, “Outward Bound!” (No wait, that’s taken, right?)

NEWSWEEK floats a balloon-- but then they pulled the plug on NEWSWEEK.

NEWSWEEK floated the balloon– but then they pulled the plug on NEWSWEEK.

So is ObamaCare the likely undoing of Our Beloved Helmsman’s five-year anti-American rampage? Well, it certainly will shake things up, that’s for sure. But does it fit the prophecy? By definition, no, since the full poop storm isn’t scheduled to hit us until 2014, and Doc Goot’s augury is for 2013. And there is little indication that public awareness could trigger a reaction before the event. Consider that recent polls have shown that four out of ten Americans have no clue that the Affordable Care Act is the law of the land. Twelve percent of our countrymen think Congress repealed it. Seven percent think the Supreme Court overturned it despite Justice Roberts’s last-minute fit of the vapors, and 23 percent admit they have no idea. If this level of ignorance disheartens you, dear readers, WOOF feels your pain (click here to see possible explanation), but it remains difficult to see the train wreck of health care as the likely agent of Obama’s political demise.

Two of three: Benghazi and the whole Arab kerfuffle

Now here’s the proverbial shite brick in the punch bowl, beloved readers! To review, in case some readers are coming to us from the major networks, Benghazi is a city in Libya where, on the night of September 11, 2012, heavily armed Al Qaeda operatives overran the American Consulate and a nearby annex killing Ambassador Chris Stevens, and three other Americans during an eight hour battle while the Obama administration did nothing whatsoever (see previous report). And despite the best efforts of a Liberal Media Establishment whose collective purpose is now to spike the news rather than report it (sort of like the fire department in Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 started fires instead of putting them out), some tenacious congressmen have kept the spotlight on this enormity. And now the whistle blowers are showing up on the Hill!

Hill' on the Hill--what difference does it make?!

Hill’ on the Hill–what difference does it make?!

We know now that Hillary Clinton (whom Tina Brown taught us to call “Her Magnificence”) worked her fingers to the bone yanking all references to Al Qaeda out of the signals traffic, and even tried to cut her own counter-terrorism bureau out of the loop, for reasons that remain mysterious. Further allegations regarding Her Magnificence are known to be forthcoming, including testimony by former State Department employees who say they were subjected to threats intended to discourage them from talking to congress or the press. Her Magnificence, meanwhile, has attempted to establish that she was absent during the Benghazi disaster, and later misled by the Intelligence Community as to its nature. But WOOF knows that Mrs. Clinton was very much present and on the job during the attack on her embassy, busily deleting all references to Al Qaeda, shutting down all information that should normally have gone to her own counter-terrorism units, and helping to invent the bizarre story that the attack comprised a few local hotheads incensed over the creation of a film about Mohammed—a film that nobody ever saw or heard of until the Obama Whitehouse fingered it as culpable in the entire matter. Thus equipped with the thinnest, least plausible cover story since dogs first ate homework, the Regime shoved its U.N. ambassador, Susan Rice, out to destroy her career by appearing on every Liberal Media outlet over that weekend repeating the palpable balderdash that the consulate came under attack because of a YouTube video. And let it not be forgotten that Rappin’ Preezy Himself stood before the assembled United Nations and repeated the whole idiotic story, replete with bilious effusions in defense of free speech (even as the hapless filmmaker was tracked down and clapped in prison, where he remains to this day—America’s only authentic political prisoner).

The infamous film maker -WOOF's 2012 person of year!

The infamous film maker -WOOF’s 2012 person of year!

WOOF knows that this story is only beginning to break, and that the long term revelations, if they are permitted to transpire, will be devastating to the Obama Regime, as well as Mrs. Clinton, whose entire tenure as Secretary of State was an unmitigated catastrophe. WOOF also knows that two other sore points of a Middle Eastern origin are beginning to develop traction and threaten the Presidential image. First, the President’s inability to make good on his threat to intervene in Syria if chemical weapons were used has caused him to appear craven even to those who are not routinely perceptive of this trait in his character, and the explanation for his reluctance is simple and formulaic. The President supports any Middle Eastern initiative that is rabidly anti-American (as in Libya and Egypt) and refuses to intervene in any Middle Eastern initiative that might prove authentically democratic or pro-American (as in Iran or Syria). Why? The President is a communist, gentle readers. We keep telling you this, but we know it’s hard for many of you to accept.

Meanwhile, back at the mosque….

Saudi contact Alharbi, just before he was never a suspect.

Saudi contact Alharbi, just before he was never a suspect.

Oh, and then there’s the papered-over Saudi connection to the Boston terror bombings. WOOF believes the Marathon bombings were largely engineered and orchestrated by Saudi operatives, fronted by party boy Abdul Rahman Ali Alharbi, who was arrested the day of the attack and whose family is known to maintain connections with Al Qaeda. But on the day of the attack, hasty and confidential meetings were held involving the President, Janet Napolitano, and Secretary of State John Kerry with various highly-placed Saudi officials. In the immediate wake of these meetings, Alharbi was sheep dipped, as they say at CIA.  In other words, his record was cleansed of all incriminating details.  In one swell foop, Alharbi was removed from the no-fly list, and his 212 (3b) file—the least equivocal of all terrorist classifications assignable by the National Targeting Center (NTC), was caused to disappear in a puff of blue smoke. Alharbi, who was slightly wounded in the explosions in Boston, was originally held under arrest. It was at this point that CNN’s news reader, John King, was correctly informed by his trusted police source that a suspect was in custody and it was an Arab—a Saudi. In the name of political correctness, however, King could not bring himself to report the news, blubbering, “I’m making a personal judgment — forgive me, I think it’s the right judgment — not to try to inflame tensions,” but, King finally admitted, “they say it’s a dark-skinned male. I’m gonna stop there.” (He couldn’t quite make himself say “Arab.”)

Janet Napolitano

Secretary Napolitano: “…full with misstatements!”

Meanwhile, Alharbi went from being under arrest to being a suspect to being a person of interest to being a wounded bystander. Busy day. Next, he was to be “deported” (read: exfiltrated) , but Glenn Beck took such dogged possession of the story on his radio and television broadcasts that suddenly Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano announced that he, Alharbi,  was not being deported, was never about to be deported, and was really somebody else anyway, not who Beck thought he was. When Congressman Jeff Duncan (R-SC) evinced sufficient temerity to ignore this bilge and simply ask Napolitano why she had, in fact, been about to deport a foreign national who only days before was the top suspect in the Boston Marathon bombings, Madam Secretary was driven to fresh heights of eloquence, replying, “I’m not going to answer that question. That question is so full with misstatements and misapprehensions that it is not worthy of an answer. There’s been so much reported on this that’s been wrong, I can’t even begin to tell you!” (And so she didn’t!) Might the Middle East contain the seeds of Our Beloved Helmsman’s discomfiture? It is certainly a possibility—and Her Magnificence isn’t looking too good here either!

Three of three—the Martian connection!

Recently Bernard Mendez (right) divulged that he too is a "jump room" veteran who remembers meeting young Obama on Mars.

Recently Bernard Mendez (left) divulged that he too is a “jump room” veteran who remembers meeting young Obama on Mars.

Yes, we here at WOOF were inclined to disregard this one, until we heard it officially denied by Tommy Vietor, the spokesman for the National Security Council. Then we began to wonder. And when Major Ed Dames, formerly of the Army’s Project Star Gate (a distance viewing and psychic warfare program sponsored by the Central Intelligence Agency) denied having prepared future sojourners on Mars for their odyssey during training and orientation sessions held at California’s College of the Siskiyous in 1980, we became even more interested. Of course, all the details of Project Pegasus, the DARPA project to teleport earth residents to the red planet, are entirely classified. Normally, one would not have expected a single hint of its existence to slip into the information stream—but Andrew Basiago, a successful Washington-state lawyer turned whistle blower, came forward in 2008 to say that he was part of the project. Basiago initially attempted to document his experiences through learned treatises on the topography and fauna of Mars which he submitted to the National Geographic Society, but the Society, understandably, thought he was insane. Frustrated, Basiago “outed” himself publicly through a series of media interviews in which he revealed the truth about his teenage years spent in large part, he insisted, transporting between the CIA “jump room” in El Segundo, and the surface of Mars. And among Basiago’s most controversial claims: his class of trainees included a young man called Barry Soetoro, otherwise known as Barack Obama. No sooner had the National Security Counsel denied that President Obama was part of a clandestine program to colonize Mars than a second graduate of Project Pegasus came forward in the person of William Stillings who averred, “I can confirm that Andrew D. Basiago and Barack Obama (then using the name “Barry Soetoro”) were in my Mars training course in Summer 1980 and that during the time period 1981 to 1983, I encountered Andy, Courtney M. Hunt of the CIA, and other Americans on the surface of Mars after reaching Mars via the jump room in El Segundo.”

Irwin Allen's TV show "The Time Tunnel" may have been based on Project Pegasus!

Irwin Allen’s  mid-60s TV show “The Time Tunnel” may have been based on Project Pegasus!

Subsequently a number of others have come forward as well, many boasting academic degrees and professional associations that WOOF has not been able to confirm—but before you dismiss these additional witnesses, bear in mind that the jump room was, according to all who claim knowledge of it, a time relocation device, as well as a transportation tool! Yes, dear readers, as we have told you in our Science and the Paranormal section, Barack Obama may be a chrononaut, which would enable him, for example, to erase the academic records and curricula vitae of certain individuals even before they existed—or hide his own records of birth someplace on Mars, or drop them off somewhere before he was actually born. Yes, and a chrononaut could exist several times, over and over, in various life experiments until settling on one that resulted in the American Presidency, which might explain why Our Beloved Helmsman has so many issues involving various social security cards assigned to him, including one that gives evidence of originating in Connecticut, where he never lived or worked—but may have lived and worked in an alternative life experiment.  In fact, the President may have been born in Hawaii after or before he was born in Kenya, right? Truly, once one factors chrononautics into the game, there is no end to what might be hidden, recreated, altered or achieved! The mind boggles, does it not?

Well, we’re here!


Obama allegedly made his first jump to Mars at the age of nineteen–although he does not appear to be on Mars in this photo.

Okay, so what WOOF is really by way of suggesting here, as our third category of potential deal breakers for the Obama Administration, and placing under the Martian rubric for conversation’s sake, is what we might more generally call the weirdness factor. Something about the meteoric rise to incompetence of Barack Hussein Obama is simply weird…and one need not believe any specific item on the list to acknowledge that the list seems far too lengthy and far too murky in far too many ways to amount to nothing. From the bizarre assortment of social security numbers to the hermetically sealed college transcripts to the suppressed college essays to the belatedly supplied birth certificate that many experts have declared fraudulent, (including the Israel Science and Technology website), to the striking paucity of anyone who knew Obama in Hawaii…what’s going on? Why did his own grandmother say he was born in Kenya? Why do press brochures for his first book say the same thing? Can he be considered a natural citizen when his father was a British Subject? Why does his autobiography describe a girlfriend who turns out not to have existed, obliging the President to admit he made up a composite girlfriend? How did he manage to listen to Jeremiah Wright spew antisemitism, racism, anti-Americanism and Liberation Theology for 20 years but never hear a word of it—and yet quote a good deal of it in his book, Dreams from my Father?

Barry Soetoro arrives on mars-- what's in the sack, Barry? Is it still up there?

Barry Soetoro arrives on mars– what’s in the sack, Barry? Is it still up there?

Why does he refuse to share his health records, or allow a glimpse of his passport? Why do Columbia University’s records show that he graduated with a BA in 1991, but Obama says he attended in 1981? Why does leaked FBI information suggest Obama was in Pakistan in 1981—and okay, if he’s a chrononaut this could make sense, but otherwise it’s a major discrepancy, isn’t it? In fact, when one objectively reviews the nearly endless tangle of contradictory details constituting Our Beloved Helmsman’s biography, one is left to conclude that the only plausible alternative to an inference of deception is the availability of time travel as an optional explanation. If we are inclined to accept the testimony of, say, Robert Dean (another ostensible witness to the Pegasus project) about probes to past and future events, including time reviews conducted by “teleportation and chronovision” then Obama’s participation in Mars exploration and his time-line of twisted inconsistencies actually make sense. Otherwise?  Otherwise we see a treasure trove of damnatory irregularities begging to be vetted by an awakened press corps—and as the events in Benghazi and the cruel realities of ObamaCare become inescapably obvious, the media may at least consider taking a discreet peak. (Or maybe not.) We here at WOOF, meanwhile, are not wholly prepared to abandon the Project Pegasus story. Certain elements of it, properly considered, contain a persuasive verisimilitude. Take for example Basiago’s account of “jumping” from El Segundo to Mars with the 19-year-old Obama. His remembrance of the event precisely encapsulates the wit and observational acuity that even today defines our President—could Basiago simply confect conversations that ring so true? For example, he vividly recalls the doors of the jump chamber rolling open, recalls standing there with the future president as together they gazed upon the vast revealed vistas of Mars, and remembers Obama’s words to him on that occasion: “Well, we’re here.”


“Well–we’re here!”

  1. I’m impressed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog
    that’s equally educative and engaging, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head.

    The issue is an issue that too few folks are speaking intelligently
    about. I’m very happy that I came across this in my search for something concerning this.


    • Well, thank you, elo Boosting lol ph–if that’s your real name! We would automatically conclude you are spam except that WordPress normally does such a good job of detecting and censoring spam–but if you are a real person, surely you also noticed that the main thrust of the article was completely WRONG– a small detail for which we have yet to forgive Our Resident Psychic (if you can be resident and live in Zug, Switzerland), Dr. Gootensteiner Johannes Walters. But yes, apart from the fact that we were totally mistaken, it’s a great article, huh! –Ed.


  2. I do not drop a bunch of comments, but i did a few searching and wound up here Nobama??
    WOOFs crack psychic predicts TRAINWRECK
    2013! | Watchdogs of Our Freedom. And I actually do have 2
    questions for you if you tend not to mind. Is it just me or does it appear like
    some of the remarks appear like they are left by brain dead individuals?
    😛 And, if you are writing at other online sites, I would like to follow anything new you have
    to post. Would you make a list of the complete urls of all your community pages like your twitter
    feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?


    • Greetings, Marita. We very definitely “tend not to mind” questions here at WOOF–in fact, we welcome the inquisitive–even when they seem “brain dead,” to coin your phrase–a phrase for which we here at WOOF are inclined to substitute more euphemistic terms, such as ‘liberal.’

      Some of us do write at other sites, yes, and some are authors of academic monographs or studies to which we would happily direct you, except that WOOF glories in remaining a secret society…so if we go telling you where to find our individual members or whether they have Linkedin profiles in other capacities, the whole secrecy thing (which is half the fun around here) would be blown to flinders, eh wot?

      Sorry, but WOOF does not have a Facebook page. Everybody tells us to get one, but we still don’t see the point! If you see the point, feel free to explain it to us! We also refused to be on Twitter for a long time–but now we are, mainly because our volunteer,Tech Elf Noah, promised to handle the technical vagaries, and has, in addition, proved himself able to sound reliably WOOFy in 140-character bursts–a feat we had previously deemed impossible for anyone. Sadly, your humble editor does NOT grasp the technicalities of Twitter, and can only tell you that our Twitter account is @WOOFALERTS–does that help?

      You can receive emailed notifications of all new WOOF articles whenever they are published by scrolling down to the “Follow us!” cartoon in the lower right column and clicking the little icon that says “follow WOOF!” it’s fun, educational, and makes a terrific Christmas gift for that special brain-dead someone in your life! Swell hearing from you, Marita! –Ed.

      . ,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s