WOOF! Watchdogs of Our Freedom

…WITH ZIMMERMAN, MARTIN, AND RAHM (WOOF finally caves in and discusses the Trayvon Martin affair.)

In "Tastefully avoiding puns with the word 'race' in them" forum on July 17, 2013 at 4:41 pm


Trayvon deflated, Zimmerman inflated, media frustrated…  

WOOF would like to begin by acknowledging that we weren’t there the night Trayvon Martin was shot by George Zimmerman, and, of course, neither were any of the several million opinionists who have pronounced authoritatively on the event—except for the witnesses introduced at trial, so we don’t know what was in Zimmerman’s heart of head, or in Martin’s, but we do know this much: No jury could possibly have convicted on the evidence, or rather on the surprising paucity of evidence, offered in the courtroom. The eternally bollixed crew at the Nation may have declared that Zimmerman was freed by “white supremacy,” but it was really just six jurors and an unbreachable defense. The preternatural ineptitude of the prosecution, whose own witnesses either self-destructed or sounded like a cheering section for the accused, startled the media and left the jurors no valid option but acquittal. So yes, Zimmerman should have walked, and yes he should get his gun back. But what is most interesting to WOOF is the deranged sociology that surrounded and continues to surround the events of the shooting. First, WOOF notes the amazing transformation of the main characters, and on several levels of interpretation. Allow us to explain:

We begin with Zimmerman, the run-of-the-mill Hispanic dude, widely considered a reliable sort who apparently lived in a mobile home in the central Florida city of Sanford where he was employed as a mortgage officer, and who often volunteered as a neighborhood watch captain in the gated Twin Lakes community. Not exactly a guy you’d cast to play Reinhard Heydrich, right? And yet a man who, as The Nation made clear in its own lovably asinine way, became the Leftwing Media Establishment’s poster boy for “white supremacy.” Why, the New York Times even created its own race to make Zimmerman appear less ethnic, dubbing him (casually, so that no one would notice) a “white Hispanic.” Obviously, were logic applicable at the Times, the president would necessarily be described as a white black man, but don’t hold your breath.

Untitled 2

Two peas in a pod? It strikes WOOF as unlikely.

As Zimmerman rose through the ranks to become the uncontested worst person on earth in the febrile wasteland of the liberal blogosphere, (eat your heart out, Dick Cheney) he simultaneously found himself ballyhooed as blameless and saintly on the websites of the Right. But George Zimmerman is neither Satan nor Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn—he’s just a guy who was on edge over a cluster of robberies and break ins and therefore decided to follow a suspicious-looking kid on the fateful night of February 26, 2012. His involuntary transformation, whether into the spitting image of Bull Connor (who was a Democrat by the way) or Captain America (who is undoubtedly a Republican) makes no more sense than bringing him to trial did…. But the media created the one image, and the Right responded by creating the other. Lost in all the hubbub is an ordinary man who will never, ever, get his life entirely back.

The purple drank factor

Trayvon as we first viewed him, younger and sweeter than subsequent depictions

Trayvon as we first  beheld him, younger and a tad sweeter than subsequent depictions

And what of Trayvon? In the immediate wake of his death he was hastily inflated also, his pleasant, youthful features lent themselves to angelic allusions, and he became instantly iconic as the innocent kid with the bag of skittles whose only crime was his race and whose death was dealt him by a bloodthirsty bigot who targeted him for summary execution. President Obama lost not a moment jumping in, declaring “If I had a son, he would look like Trayvon!” and dispatched his DOJ to stir up anti-Zimmerman hysteria in Broward County. But Trayvon’s elevation to sainthood began to stall as additional facts developed. He was first declared an all A’s and B’s student, but it soon transpired he’d been suspended from school at the time of his death, his third disciplinary suspension of the year. He was eulogized as a carefree kid who lived a law-abiding life, but police reports suggested otherwise, including a search of his person that on one occasion turned up several pieces of women’s jewelry and a screw driver (a standard burglar’s tool). His suspensions were said to be for minor matters of tardiness and truancy, but the third one turned out to be a marijuana violation.  The autopsy report confirmed the presence of low levels of marijuana in Martin’s system. More significantly perhaps, Martin’s liver was damaged in a manner consistent with the abuse of dextromethorphan (DXM) cough syrup. This syrup is popular in the hip-hop community when mixed with candies (like Skittles) and fruit drinks (like the Arizona Watermelon drink Trayvon was carrying). These ingredients combine to produce a concoction known to gang bangers as “Purple Drank” or “Lean,” the long term effects of which can include aggression and psychosis.. Sadly, the angelic image of Trayvon Martin began to deflate, not because the press was out to get him, (don’t make us laugh), but because their effort to deify him resulted in several thousand researchers in the New Media responding with the unattractive facts, none of which would have come to light if the original police decision to free Zimmerman without charging him had not been intercepted and nullified by Obama, Holder, and their toy news media.


The emergent image of Trayvon–with attitude!

This is neither to say that Trayvon was a psychopathically deranged, irretrievable dope fiend, nor a budding candidate for the priesthood. He was really just unlucky. For all we know he might have straightened out, entered college and become a community organizer—or maybe even something useful, if he hadn’t discarded his life that night by jumping on Zimmerman. For all we know, he just lost his temper and made a fatal miscalculation—but the dignity and normalcy he might have been accorded in death are gone forever now, along with his future. The protesters may have to peel the Skittles bags off their posters as the nasty facts emerge, but they have every right to mourn. The slaying of Trayvon Martin is a tragedy on several levels, for both principles and their families. That it became a political circus is ascribable entirely to the Establishment, which term is nowadays synonymous with the American Left, unless one reasons that it all started when the Right struck back by unearthing the facts.

The media slowly gets the idea--Skittles and also less angelic than first believed.

The media slowly gets the idea–Skittles are also less angelic than first believed.

Angela unchained! (Marissa bound)

But if the protesters were in any mood to drop their Skittles bags and help a sister out, they were conveniently situated because even as George Zimmerman’s acquittal was being announced in Broward County, a black woman was being subjected to positively Kafkaesque levels of injustice in nearby Jacksonville. Yes, fellow Wooferians, thirty-one year old Marissa Alexander, a mother of three small children, was chased from her home by her abusive ex-husband (against whom she had a restraining order) who was loudly and angrily threatening to kill her and who, she testified, tried to strangle her. In terror of her life she fled to the garage with the intention of escaping by automobile, but discovered she had forgotten her keys. She had her gun though, so as her bellicose former spouse drew nearer she decided to discourage his advance by discharging her weapon at a wall. The echoing gunshot sent hubbie scampering, but nobody was hurt. “I believe when he threatened to kill me, that’s what he was absolutely going to do,” Alexander told the authorities. “That’s what he intended to do. Had I not discharged my weapon at that point, I would not be here.”

Corey has a mad on!

Angela Corey has a mad on!

But if Mrs. Alexander saved herself from death by strangulation, it soon became apparent that she had  simultaneously placed herself at the mercy of the dangerously addlepated State’s Attorney Angela Corey, who, you may be interested to learn, is the very same addlepated State’s Attorney who brought charges against George Zimmerman in the Trayvon Martin case. That Alexander should never have been charged in the first place seems screamingly obvious, especially considering the fact that she never ran afoul of the law prior to exciting Corey’s wrath by warning her husband instead of blowing him away. So, the police arrested her and the execrable Corey decided that the idea of honest citizens defending themselves with guns was sufficiently unthinkable to merit prosecution.  Despite the fact that she wasn’t there and Alexander obviously was, State’s Attorney Corey, who is evidently also a gifted psychic, told the press that she believed Alexander aimed the gun at the man and his two sons, and insisted, “the bullet she fired could have ricocheted and hit any of them.” Of course if we accept the first premise Corey’s analysis puts forth, we would next have to assume logically that Corey believes the bullet might have ricocheted off the children and hit their father, or off the father and hit the children—the only other explanation for the ricochet argument necessitating the belief that Corey wasn’t aiming at anybody at all.

Marissa in jail togs--so much for no criminal record!

Marissa in jail togs–so much for no criminal record!

WOOF is also unaware of what juries in Jacksonville (the venue of the trial) like to smoke during their deliberations, but how a group of Alexander’s peers returned a verdict of attempted murder in such an open and shut case of self defense remains mysterious. Rather sensibly, Alexander asserted her rights under Florida’s `Stand Your Ground Law,’ but the judge threw this out, telling Alexander that she could and should have run for it. His Honor did not go into what she could have done in the event that her husband caught up with her and resumed strangling her, but presumably he had a plan.  Fortunately, State’s Attorney Corey is not without mercy, and she generously offered Alexander a plea bargain and a three year sentence to go with it. Understandably, Alexander said no thanks, little suspecting that the police, the prosecutor, the judge and the jury would all prove simultaneously, and to approximately equivalent degrees, psychotic.

In happier days.

In happier days.

Alexander was given 20 years under a state law mandating 20 years for any reprobate who discharges a firearm in the course of committing a felony. Victor Crist, the Republican state legislator who authored the “10-20-life” bill in 1999 said Alexander’s sentence is not what lawmakers intended, but nobody seemed to care. “We were trying to get at the thug who was robbing a liquor store,” Crist explained, but his legislation is so poorly written (ignoring, as it does, the imperative concept of premeditation) that it could as easily apply to firing a warning shot at a wall. So why isn’t the Leftist Establishment Media screaming with outrage about white on black injustice in this case? Simple: Alexander defended herself with a handgun—oops—big mistake.

Shoot your wall, do 20 in the big house!

Shoot your wall, do 20 in the big house!

Thus we have this surreal juxtaposition of Zimmerman, acquitted for killing a kid (despite the judge having spared no effort to provide his jurors with a smorgasbord of opportunities to send him up the river while NBC dedicatedly doctored 911 tapes to makes him sound racist), and Marissa Alexander getting dragged off to prison for 20 mandatory years because she shot her wall. It is equally bizarre that such a miscarriage of justice should put WOOF on the side of the NAACP, with whom we haven’t agreed about much since around 1966, and Corrine Brown, U.S. Representative for Florida’s 5th congressional district, with whom we have never previously agreed about anything! But you go, sister! (Our hypocrisy knows no bounds!)

Meanwhile, back at the inner city holocaust….

You go, Corrine! (WOOF isn't proud.)

You go, Corrine! (WOOF isn’t proud.)

Meanwhile, in the cities where murder is perfectly all right so long as it does not seem politically incorrect, people are gunned down all day and all night long by killers whose guns are not registered, whose intent is insensately homicidal, and whose killings go unnoticed by the socialist totalitarian establishment and their lap-poodle media because they fail to promote progressive objectives. In Obama’s and Rahm Emanuel’s Chicago, just for instance, where an armed citizenry is celebrated only to the extent that gang bangers may be considered armed citizens, this month has already witnessed 25 shot and killed and 106 wounded. June ended with a total of 40 shot dead and 225 wounded. Over the course of the year to date, the WindyCity has hosted 190 killed and 971 wounded by gunfire. Just since Trayvon Martin was shot, 18 black seventeen-year-old males have been shot and killed in Chicago. (It should be noted that this is actually less murder than at the same time last year in Chicago, but this is because Global Warming apparently caused an especially frigid winter and an unseasonably cold spring. Criminologists agree that murder rates drop with the mercury, although this fact did not prevent Rahm Emanuel from crediting himself with the decrease, he evidently subscribing to the axiom that one should never let a stark repudiation of one’s meteorological lunacy go to waste.

LBJ destroying the black family and building those high rises--but he meant well!

LBJ destroying the black family and building those high rises–but he meant well!

Although blacks constitute not quite 13 percent of the country’s population, they are fully half the people who get murdered every year—and not because they were assailed by skin heads or the KKK. The vast majority of these murders are black on black, but nobody mourns or even particularly notes these victims beyond their families. Writing in USA Today, columnist DeWayne Wickham sapiently mused: “Maybe the people who’ve taken to the streets to protest Martin’s killing don’t care as much about the loss of other black lives because those killings don’t register on the racial conflict meter…” and WOOF couldn’t agree more. But popular opinion in this country is not forged by concerned African Americans, it is forged by manipulative white propagandists (otherwise known as the media and the Democratic party), and to the white liberal establishment the inner city carnage doesn’t matter because it cannot be exploited to political advantage. Worse than that, it points directly to the destruction of the black nuclear family by white socialists (beginning with the disastrous Great Society programs of Lyndon Johnson), to the deliberate incapacitation of the public schools by the predominantly white communists of the NEA, and might, if publicized, highlight the positive correlation between strict anti-gun laws and increased shooting deaths.

Despite brilliantly subtle  psychological campaigns like this one, black-on-black crime continues to skyrocket!

Despite brilliantly subtle psychological campaigns like this one, black-on-black crime continues to skyrocket!

And now for a round of double jeopardy

Comes now William Holder, fresh from dispatching his own DOJ agents to organize protests and rallies aimed at eulogizing Trayvon Martin and smearing George Zimmerman well before any testable evidence had been amassed. The legal watchdog group Judicial Watch caught Holder’s minions (Red handed, as it were) and adduced the facts for all to see on its website, viewable here, but of course the media took no notice and Holder, who would have been driven from office in ignominy a dozen times by now were he a white Republican, remains smugly in his seat on Dear Leader’s cabinet. And thus it was with characteristic disregard for legality, legitimacy, and human rights that Holder announced earlier this week that he would be looking for evidence of racial profiling in the Zimmerman shooting, and preferring federal charges if he smelled a rat.  Will Holder make, literally, a federal case of the Zimmerman acquittal?

Uh-ohhh! A hispanic guy shot a black guy and William Holder smells a civil rights violation!

Uh-ohhh! A Hispanic guy shot a Black guy and William Holder smells a civil rights violation!

Renowned defense lawyer, Harvard law professor and gold-plated ultra-liberal Alan M. Dershowitz is lately in the habit of offering opinions that threaten to make WOOF a part of his fan base, even as he risks that most savage of pan-media beat downs—that mass attack reserved by the Left for its wayward adherents.  In an exclusive interview, Newsmax asked Dershowitz if he saw any grounds for a federal investigation focusing on civil rights violations in the Zimmerman case. He replied in the affirmative, but hastened to add that any federal investigation should focus on “prosecutorial misconduct” rather than Zimmerman, He applauded the not-guilty verdict saying, “I think there were violations of civil rights and civil liberties — by the prosecutor…The prosecutor sent this case to a judge, and willfully, deliberately, and in my view criminally withheld exculpatory evidence.”  Wow, Alan, you’re the mensch!

aaa evinces elation at the news that WOOF is less unfond of him these days.

Alan Dershowitz evinces elation at the news that WOOF is less unfond of him these days.

miss us yet

Okay, we know, Tom wasn’t actually there, but you get the idea, right? And that puts you way ahead of Our Beloved Leader!

The boys back at Independence Hall in 1787 (remember those guys?) signed off on a document that reserved matters of law enforcement to the several states. Victims of public education may be surprised to discover that the country got along fine with no Department of Justice for over a century. The DOJ as we conceptualize it today did not officially exist as a government entity until its creation in 1933 by—you guessed it—Franklin Delano Roosevelt, or, “that man,” as Little Orphan Annie disdainfully referred to him. But don’t get us started.


When Holder tasked his department’s “Community Relations Division” to rabble rouse against Zimmerman and threatened Florida with various federal unpleasantries if they did not press charges, he was already at tendentious odds with the Bill of Rights. The pundits who expect him to stay his hand owing to the absence of any plausible grounds for federal intervention are typical of those myriad opinionists who honestly think they are living in the America of yesterday—an America where the rule of law was ensured by conscientious conservators of constitutional writ, and an aggressively inquisitive media stood ready to sound the alarm if shenanigans were attempted from any quarter. But that America is gone, or at least on furlough while President Obama’s rascally pack of race baiters, communists, autocrats and anarcho-fascists runs roughshod over the Constitution, a document that the president denounced not terribly long ago as “a charter of negative liberties,” even as he bluntly declared his intention to “break free from the essential constraints that were placed by the Founding Fathers in the Constitution.”

This is President Obama not getting involved.

This is President Obama not getting involved.

The surest evidence that Holder will now move against Zimmerman despite a blatant lack of grounds for doing so is the fact that Barack Obama has elevated himself above such tawdry matters, averring that he will play no part in Holder’s decision. This is funny. Has Obama played a part in any decision during the last five years? According to him and his faithful servants in the news media, he has remained aloof from every disaster, controversy, scandal, and embarrassment that has befallen his administration. Ha! Trust us, Woofketeers, when Our Beloved Leader assures us he will play no part in whether or not his DOJ proceeds against Zimmerman, we may safely infer that he has already ordered Holder to bring him Zimmerman’s scalp on a platter.

So get ready for “Zimmerman 2,” a Barack Hussein Obama production featuring Eric Holder as himself, directed by Al Sharpton, with a script by Bill Ayers from an original idea by Saul Alinsky. (And a cast of millions, of course!) It’s all so predictable it would be amusing, if it weren’t for the sorry spectacle of one short, pudgy Hispanic guy, dragged to the square by the mob, pummeled by a jackbooted government determined to curry favor with the rabble while the media elites call for a necktie party and the rest of us sit on our hands and hope we’re not next. C’mon; show a little backbone America!  WOOF dreams of a day when we can fight bigotry and abject stupidity both at the same time…is this too wild a dream? WOOF PRINT


“If the law supposes that,” said Mr. Bumble,… “the law is a ass—a idiot. If that’s the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is that his eye may be opened by experience—by experience.”

“If the law supposes that,” said Mr. Bumble,… “the law is a ass—a idiot. If that’s the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is that his eye may be opened by experience—by experience.”–Charles Dickens “Oliver Twist”

  1. Very great post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really loved browsing your weblog posts.
    In any case I will be subscribing for your feed and I’m hoping you write again soon!


  2. Always a pleasure welcoming a new follower, Helpful Resources! And now that you’re on board and we’re pals, can we just call you ‘Helpful?’ –Ed.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: