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The Sayings of Joe Biden–Wit and Wisdom from America’s only Zombie President!

In "See you in the funnies" forum on August 5, 2022 at 11:17 am

We know what you’re thinking–who needs further evidence that Joe Biden is a mental disaster? For that matter, who would be nasty enough to make fun of a man who is obviously impaired cognitively? Isn’t that tasteless and cruel? Well, consider two points. First, the majority of liberals do not believe or have any clue that Joe Biden is a doddering, bumbling  embarrassment, living, as they do, in the bubble of sanitized leftist reporting that painstakingly edits Joe’s verbal fumbles and tosses his cognitive word salads to resemble something akin to purposive English.  Highly intelligent liberals we know scoff at the notion that Biden has mental difficulties and insist that videos showing such blatherings are “edited by the far right,” and are, of course, “debunked” [which see].  It is mainly for their sake that we offer this primer in the unbridled dumbness and incoherence of the 46th president’s official and casual utterances…but the rest of us can get a good laugh out of it, and sometimes one has to laugh to keep from crying.

Always an idiot…

Maybe you have to be a Norwegian to figure this out?

This should simultaneously address the second concern we voiced–in other words, is it cruel to make fun of the King for being naked? Yes, except in circumstances wherein noticing the King’s nakedness constitutes a vital revelation to his befuddled subjects, as well as an insight necessary to rational governance. Our first responsibility, then, is to demonstrate the President’s psychological deficiencies–not to politely pretermit them. We have an entire media complex devoted to the polite erasure (or at best, the hinky rationalizing) of the man’s deficits.

As most of us are already aware, these problems were observable long before the election of 2020, even though the media pretended they weren’t–even  bestowing upon him ridiculous accolades, calling him, for example, “the savviest foreign-policy thinker in the Senate” (ABC News, 2008). In truth, sadly, the President was always a nincompoop, and he is increasingly unmoored from even the most fundamental sensibilities.

He who says “A”…

The legendary WFB Jr, reminding us not to say “B.”

Biden was always an impulsive liar, for that matter, but it seems increasingly unlikely that he recognizes his own prevarications as such. In short, the press was committed to defending Biden’s spoken ludicrosities long before he thanked “the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics,” for elevating him to the presidency, (an accidental venture into truth telling that USA Today “fact checked” and dismissed because “since the beginning of his campaign, Biden’s foot has been no stranger to his mouth.”) Ha, ha–see? Debunked! No one should take Joe seriously, and therefore, no one should suggest Joe has a problem. But as William F. Buckley, Jr. often remarked, “If ‘A’ does not equal ‘B,’ than he who says ‘A’ cannot say ‘B.'”

Debunked..so he never said that right? Well, okay, he said it, but he was probably way too out of it to know what he was saying, so the whole idea that he said it at all is debunked, see?

Too, as with his election-fraud shout-out, Biden’s “gaffes” often have the ring of undisciplined truthfulness.  Remember during the campaign when he was asked how he and running mate Kamala Harris would resolve a major policy dispute, should one emerge between them? Biden frankly (and to Harris’s evident dismay), assured baffled CNN interviewers that, “I will develop some disease and say I have to resign.”  The quote has, of course, spiraled down the memory hole with sundry other Bidenisms, like the time Biden updated the Democrat caucus on his 900-billion-dollar stimulus package, chirruping, “If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong!” Right, and a 100% chance we’re going to get more inflation.

Inflation makes you stronger…

Fortunately for citizens concerned about inflation, Biden has determined that inflation is a kind of Nietzschean character builder, going so far as to tell a labor conference, “the number one threat is the strength, and that number one strength that we built is inflation!”

Russians did it!

Like, suddenly she’s Joe McCarthy?

Strength or not, Biden last week touted wage growth as a means of curbing inflation even after a new report showed prices climbing at the highest rate in 40 years, which, by the way, accounts for a lot of “wage growth,” which is is turn, well, never mind. Bidden blamed Putin’s “ruthless attack on the Ukraine,”for the additional two-dollar hike in gasoline prices,” insisting that “Ulmamitly [sic] the reason gas prices are up, is because of Russia!” But this could work out well because we will soon all switch to electric vehicles, according to Biden, because we are in “a great transition.” (So thank you, Vladimir Putin?)

“The Liberal World Order…”

Can we skip straight to “beyond?”

When asked why Americans should be expected to regard their current circumferences as “sustainable,” White House spokesman Brian Deese replied:,  “What you heard from the president today was a clear articulation [sic] of the stakes–this is about the future of the Liberal World Order and we have to stand firm.” Yipes.

It’s gotten to the point that smaller goofs and bizarre revelations hardly draw attention, like only last month when Biden welcomed an utterly unsuspecting Switzerland into NATO, and declared regime change in Russia inevitable– possibly to curtail what he is currently calling “Putin price hikes” and “Putin gas costs” while continuing–two years into his administration–to label inflation “transitory”…or, apparently, just until we get rid of Putin..

‘Ill-begotten’ gains…

To further emphasize the punishments his administration has in store for Putin and his band of price-hiking oligarchs, Biden gave a televised speech in which he repeatedly attempted to pronounce the word “kleptocracy” without success, saying instead, “we are going to accommodate [sic] the Russian oligarchs, and make sure that we take their ill-begotten [sic] gains. Heh, heh, we’re going to accommodate [sic] them! We’re going to seize their yachts, their luxury homes, and other ill-begotten gains of  Putin’s kepletoert–er–kloc–yeahhh-uh-lipto-ta-ta-cy...But these are bad guys.” (Kleptocrats, that is.) And in case you think Biden was simply enjoying the irony of the verb “accommodate” be aware that the White House transcript disallowed the word, assuring readers that Biden meant to say “hold accountable.” Surely you got that, right? Much of the press got it, apparently, and dutifully made the substitution in their print versions of his speech.

Remember: American Indians are Native Americans, but Indian Americans are from India.

His problems with race go back well before he called Barack Obama “…the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy–” But this article isn’t about Joe Biden’s sociopolitical history or voting record–it’s about his verbal wanderings, like the time he assured an emigre from India that emigrants from India adored him, shouting: “In Delaware the largest growth in population is from Indian Americans–moving from India–” (as supposedly evinced by the fact that) “In Delaware you cannot go to a 7/11 or as Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent, and I’m not joking!” Apparently Biden wished to  stress job availability for that demographic.

“White kids…”

Mysteriously underemployed actress with friend.

Actress Kirstie Alley may have exaggerated when she called Biden’s racial gaffes “constant,” but there are certainly more than can be detailed here. A standout example is his infamous reminder to Chris Wallace that his candidacy was sure to attract southerners because “Delaware was a slave state,” which ranks with his reassurances (offered during a town-hall hosted by the Asian & Latino Coalition), that “poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.”

“Lincoln or John Lewis?”

Quick, Jefferson Davis or Abraham Lincoln!? Those answering “Davis” are probably too dense to grasp this website–and you definitely “ain’t Black!”

Even race-baiting, that tried-and-true Democrat tradition, is unsafe from Biden’s lips. He failed dismally to rally an audience at the University of Atlanta by rhetorically demanding, “Do you want to be on the side of Dr. King or George Wallace? Do you want to be on the side of John Lewis or Bull Connor? Do you want to be on the side of Abraham Lincoln or Jefferson Davis?” Seriously? It wasn’t so much that Biden’s audience didn’t know who those people were, but rather as if they were unfamiliar to Biden.  Wallace and Connor were not only rabid racists, but also staunch Democrats. Abraham Lincoln, whom Biden presumably intended to laud, was the first Republican president. Jefferson Davis, prior to leading the slave states into rebellion, was a Democrat–and between King and Lewis, only Lewis became  a Democrat; King always shunned political alliances.

Sailor Joe?

So what on earth did Biden mean to ask? Why, for that matter, would he tell one town-hall audience, “I got started out of an HBCU: Delaware State. Now, I don’t want to hear anything negative about Delaware State. They’re my folks!” Except Biden’s “folks” noted he’d never attended Delaware State University. For that matter, he was never enrolled at any historically Black college or university. Biden’s mysterious claim was remindful of his remarks to graduating midshipmen at the United States Naval Academy that he himself had been “appointed to Annapolis in 1965” by Sen. J. Caleb Boggs, which is total bilge.  It’s reasonable to wonder: Does Joe Biden  believe these whoppers as he so casually utters them? The mind boggles.

Does he really believe he was arrested with Nelson Mandela in South Africa? Does he really believe he was arrested in the ’60s during the civil rights movement, as he often maintains?  Is he a licensed tractor trailer driver who spent one summer driving 18-wheeler big rigs, as he told  his audience at a Mack Truck assembly plant? No. Did he go to the Tree of Life synagogue, as he vividly recalls, in the wake of the horrendous antisemitic shootings there? He did not. In fact, he never set foot there according to the surviving Rabbi. Nor is he the recipient of three masters degrees, nor did he graduate from any college with with honors. What sort of space case, really, carries on like this? And let’s not even get started on “CornPop.”

Charlemagne is not amused!

Yes, Virginia, there really is a Charlemagne the God. But he never met CornPop.

In Danville, Virginia, when then VP candidate Biden warned an audience of Blacks that Mitt Romney wanted to put them back in chains, Black Democrat Charles Rangel, congressman from New York, took to the radio long enough to call Biden “stupid.” How can so obvious an insight continue to elude so many? It did not long elude “Charlemagne the God,” co-host of the morning radio show “The Breakfast Club,” which attracts a large African American listenership.  After telling Charlemagne in 2020 that any members of his audience thinking about voting for Donald Trump “ain’t Black,” he proceeded to denounce Trump as the”first racist to be elected president,” which may have gotten Woodrow Wilson off the hook, but induced Charlemagne to snap, “I really wish Joe Biden would shut the eff up forever.” You are not alone, Charlemagne the God.

Some of us took exception, also, to Biden’s recent description of “the MAGA movement” as “really the most extreme political organization that’s existed in American history…” shrinking the KKK, The American Nazi Party, and the American Communist Party, into seaming insignificance.

Subversive activities surpassing all others?

Back to the Mainland!

While in Warsaw, Biden bellowed that if Putin uses chemical weapons in the Ukraine “it will trigger a response in kind!” The idea of our forces using (or distributing) chemical weapons in the region continues to strike WOOF as, well, un-American, but nobody elected us president.

The harried but steadfast Jen Psaki–walking it all back again.

After his cadre of overworked correctors (cynically dubbed “the mop-up crew” by insiders), walked back Biden’s nerve-gas threat, some mischief-maker at C-SPAN asked Biden if, although unwilling to get involved militarily in Ukraine,  he was, “willing to get involved militarily to defend Taiwan if it comes to that?” Biden replied that he was. C-SPAN’s reporter  marveled, “You are?” Biden replied, “Yes. It’s a commitment we made.” Gosh, if poor, overworked Jen Psaki hadn’t burnt so much midnight oil reversing the president on this blooper, while lavishing lip service on the subversive one-China policy, Biden might have enjoyed our support for a glorious moment! But no, even while complaining that President Biden cannot, seemingly, “catch a break from all the bad headlines,” what little remains of Newsweek‘s editorial staff defended Maoist chapter and verse, reminding its several readers that “China considers Taiwan to be part of its sovereign territory, while the U.S. pursues a One China policy that recognizes only one Chinese government—the one based in Beijing.” And blah, blah, blah. 

WOOF’s support for Taiwan is a lot stronger than the State Department’s!

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