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IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTIE–AND WOOF IS NOT AMUSED!

In "Christine in '16" forum on November 5, 2013 at 10:29 pm

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Forget Virginia, they’re voting for Santa Claus!

You know what, just forget about Virginia!  Forget Cuccinelli versus Terry McAuliffe, okay?  We know you were told this was a vital, unprecedentedly significant election because it was “a referendum on Obamacare!” We know you were told that it was the tea-party versus establishment Democrats and that the gubernatorial election in Virginia will serve as a bellwether for all that follows on through the midterms and all the way to 2016. And WOOF is here to tell you: “Flapdoodle and horsefeathers, gentle readers!” Believe not a word of this twaddle!  What the Virginia election will undoubtedly prove is that a second-string Clintonista who made a living up until now being a fundraiser and party chairman (read hack) can take a face familiar to TV news viewers and 35 million dollars raised for him by his pals Hillary and Bill Clinton to purple Virginia and beat a lackluster conservative who had a war chest of 18 million dollars tops and was out of cash long before he skidded into election day.  It proves that airing ten TV ads for every one of your opponent’s while relying on a doggedly sympathetic “news” media and counting on a faux third party candidacy (a fake libertarian covertly financed by Obama’s money managers) to draw support from the conservative’s base is a pretty simple way to win an election. And that’s all it proves, understood? All this media blather about a referendum on Obamacare is ridiculous—because the full brunt of Obamacare is still unfelt throughout most of the nation. One hundred million Americans are about to lose their health insurance, no kidding, people!  The full brunt of this is still out on the horizon for most of us. And if you are honestly wondering how Virginians could be so stupid as to elect the sorry likes of a slack-jawed drone like Terry McAuliffe all other considerations aside, you obviously haven’t studied our profound summation of why everybody (not just Virginia) is getting dumber! [review here!]

McAuliffe and Cuccinelli--pawn beats mannequin in Virginia. (Sigh!)

McAuliffe and Cuccinelli–pawn beats mannequin in Virginia. (Sigh!)

Now here’s what really matters—the shoe-in election that was never really in question—the race nobody had any doubts about matters! Because the Republican is about to win big in a totally blue state! And that’s great news, right? Welll….no. Sorry. It could actually be bad news…looking ahead a bit.  Allow us to dilate on this point:

Early Christie backer Coulter--anyone can make a darned mistake....

Early Christie backer Coulter–anyone can make a darned mistake….

Once upon a time, there was a wonderful young firebrand of a seemingly unalloyed conservative so powerfully committed to effusions of dextral eloquence and skewering criticisms of the media, unions, and other Leftist entities that the beautiful and talented Ann Coulter pronounced him her ideal presidential candidate for 2012, and Glenn Beck found his daily reproofs of the liberal press so irresistibly winsome that he called the sound bites “Christie Porn!” (It was meant as an encomium, trust us!)

Now time has passed, and our beamish (okay, portly) Conservative solon will, by the time this story greets your eyes, have swept to victory in New Jersey so overwhelmingly as to remain the unquestioned Governor of the Garden State and at the same time emerge the undisputed front-runner for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016. So are we happy? No, of course not, we aren’t happy at all—and it would be disingenuous of us to pretend you don’t know why, gentle readers! However, just to review:

Shades of Brown….

Former Massachusetts wunderkind Scott Brown--we could have told you those were liberal glasses!

Former Massachusetts wunderkind Scott Brown–we could have told you those were liberal glasses!

In considering the many subsequent perfidies of Chris Christie, the mind naturally wanders to the political shooting star of Scott Brown who was rocketed into the senate from Massachusetts as a tea-party favorite in 2010 only to immediately betray a decidedly more, shall we say, eclectic side and presume upon his electorate’s tolerance by shifting into any number of strikingly un-conservative positions on several key votes, until his 2012 ouster by Elizabeth Warren, who, while not a real Cherokee (despite her ludicrous claims to that effect),was at least a real Democrat.

Christie, for his part, defeated the execrable Jon Corzine for the gubernatorial post and immediately set about balancing the state’s budget, as promised. He managed this without raising taxes, much to his credit, although he did reduce certain tax credits and property relief programs. Ideally, a true supply-side approach would have lowered taxes and enhanced revenues more substantially, but explaining this to New Jersey legislators might well have proved inconceivable, so no points lost there. Christie also called for an across-the board 10% flat tax plan, (two percent too pricey, though a great idea) but the legislature has yet to act on the proposal which in its current avatar will apply only to those earning less than 400 grand per year. A flat tax would, in fact, increase revenues garnered from the wealthy, but politics relies on the marketable, not necessarily the actual, and Democrats like to appear to be giving the rich a good soaking while keeping them (and themselves) in their tax shelters and deductible investments. Oh well.

Christie's Gay Supreme Court nominee, Bruce Harris, done in by the Dems.

Christie’s Gay Supreme Court nominee, Bruce Harris, done in by the Dems.

Blessed with the luxury of a line-item veto, Christie was also able to trim $1 billion from New Jersey’s proposed budget for 2011.  Over the shrieking of Democrat legislators he slashed some overstuffed welfare programs and established 23 new charter schools while toughening the tenure requirements in public education. He even got into a nice early spat with the Obama Regime when it attempted to impose some Chicago-style mobster-ism on the annoyingly right-wing governor by having its Department of Health and Human Services discover a clerical error in New Jersey’s application for school funds that struck the Department as so offensive it was forced to withhold 400 million dollars in grants, darn it. Christie responded by charging the Obama administration with abuse of its authority (as if this were a rarity) but the money remained in limbo.

So everything was looking great for a love match between the Right and his Excellency, Chris Christie—and Christie even vetoed New Jersey’s same-sex marriage bill, which was a sufficiently conservative gesture that nobody minded (at least nobody at WOOF minded) when he almost simultaneously appointed the first openly Gay man to the New Jersey Supreme Court. It is one of those ironies that must await comment from future historians (since no one in contemporary media will mention it) that the Democrat legislature refused the Gay nominee the seat—the homophobes!

Fervent Gays to the left….

But on August 19 2013, Christie signed a bill outlawing gay conversion therapy in children. Why? This was hardly a go-along-to-get-along move on Christie’s part; New Jersey’s anti-reparative therapy law is only the second such law in America. As outreach to the Gay community it makes a sort of Machiavellian sense, however, because the Gay Left reacts to conversion therapy the way Bela Lugosi reacts to a crucifix. It may be possible, therefore, to view this ban as a sop to the Gay community and to the far more populace enclaves of liberal voters who view the Gay community as a kind of protectorate.

UFO abductees are as big a demographic as Gays, but nobody panders for their votes--what's with that?

UFO abductees are as big a demographic as Gays, but nobody panders for their votes–what’s with that?

And thus, inevitably, there is the larger Gay issue, because even though statisticians keep assuring us that only about 2% of Americans are Gay—which is about the same percent of Americans who possess Ph.D.s or who claim to have experienced UFO abduction (though no overlap is implied), a major selling point for any candidate continues to be where he stands on the super-cool issue of Gay marriage—an issue that has been called “the civil rights issue of the 21st Century,” no matter how ridiculously. And because the Gay-marriage issue galvanizes the penchant for exhibitionistic sanctimony endemic to the mooncalves of Hollywood, we are exposed to torrents of advocacy through media. And on this consequently significant issue, Governor Christie has craftily—if cravenly—taken a wonderfully ambiguous non-step. He simply decided not to appeal a ruling allowing same-sex marriage, while paying lip service to the sacred connection of a man and a woman. This naturally outrages social conservatives. It also exasperates us here at WOOF—although Governor Christie is nowhere on record as caring about us here at WOOF. But he might care a little about people like Bob Vander Plaats, an influential social-conservative in Iowa, (Iowa, get it?) who told National Review that “This would suit him a lot better if he were running as a Democrat.”

But being perceived as Democrat isn’t going to damage Christie in a gubernatorial race in New Jersey. Not hardly. It will more than probably help him amass a larger portion of the vote—in New Jersey. New Jersey liked Jon Corzine, for heaven’s sake. Woodrow Wilson was governor of New Jersey, for heaven’s sake (before making the world safe for democracy), and yes, even Jim McGreevey, whose least defective characterological component was his homosexuality—proved electable in New Jersey–so Christie has not damaged himself for domestic consumption. And indeed, if the only rap Conservatism had against Chris Christie were his apparent coziness with the Gay community, there would be precious little to criticize. There is that part in John Milius’s script for the second Dirty Harry movie, Magnum Force, in which Clint Eastwood’s Harry is warned of a rumor that the new detachment of recruits whose marksmanship skills he’s just witnessed are “queer for each other.” Harry rejoins that “If the rest of you could shoot like them, I wouldn’t care if the whole damn department was queer!”  And if a kindly predisposition toward Gays were the extent of Chistie’s sins, WOOF would wouldn’t care if the Governor wanted to perform outreach in drag—although the imagery this conjures might be adjudged aesthetically criminal, we’ll grant you. But this is only by way of saying that Governor Christie has redder flags than this in his dossier.

The sharpshooting recruits from "Magnum Force"--come to think of it, they do kind of look like the Village People!

The sharpshooting recruits from “Magnum Force”–come to think of it, they do kind of look like the Village People!

Midnight at the Oasis of Good and Evil…

Mohammad Qatanani, radical, anti-Semite, Christie appointee.

Mohammad Qatanani, Sharia radical, anti-Semite, and Christie’s notion of a “man of great good will.”

The Governor’s eagerness to wax multicultural has taken him well beyond the Gay community. He is also an unabashed defender of Islam, and we don’t mean merely that he’ll stick up for a dedicated Muslim here or there. He will go the extra mile for the most radical exponents of Sharia law into the bargain. Take Sohail Mohammed. Please. Sohail is a lawyer who functions as a mouthpiece for radical Islamic groups and defends such venomous characters as the known Hamas operative Mohammed Qatanani with a lengthy record of arrests and a conviction by Israeli authorities for functioning as an agent of Hamas and providing financial and professional support to the terrorist organization. This appears not to bother Christie who appointed the radical Islamist lawyer Sohail to the state bench while defending Qatanani’s good name. Christie went so far as to publicly embrace the radical imam at a Ramadan breakfast at his mosque (while DHS was attempting to deport him), declaring him “a man of great good will.” WOOF can not encapsulate these events more succinctly than has Pamela Geller who remarked that Christie’s embrace of the radical Hamas functionary took New Jersey on “its first step to becoming a Sharia state.”  One could, WOOF supposes, remark mordantly on the irony of promoting homosexuals and Sharia law simultaneously in the name of outreach, since all the former will be stoned to death by the practitioners of the latter once the latter has attained sufficient prominence—but nobody will ask Chris Christie about such a paradox—that wouldn’t be politically correct!

Pamela Geller--not likely to become a Christie appointee in the foreseeable future.

Pamela Geller–not likely to become a Christie appointee in the foreseeable future.

Predictably, when called out for his irrational support of radical Islamic terror merchants, Christie responded with one of his patented tantrums, ranting about bigoted “Sharia crazies” who were unhappy with his appointee simply because Sohail was Muslim. That it was he, Christie, who was handing out choice jobs to authentic Sharia crazies, seemed to elude the governor completely…but Christie’s behavior in these matters is not a mere byproduct of naïveté. As Daniel Pipes has written, “Whenever an issue touching on Islam arises, Christie takes the Islamist side against those — the DHS, state senators, the NYPD, even the ACLU — who worry about lawful Islamism eroding the fabric of American life.” Witness the Governor’s hissy fit when he discovered the New York Police Department was conducting surveillance of Islamic radicals in Newark and New Brunswick, capped off with an insult directed at NYPD Commissioner Raymond Kelly.

While Christie also vocally maintains his staunch support of Israel, this provides small comfort as he willfully allows anti-Constitutional barbarism to extend its grip on his state.

Christie Care?

Christie distinguished himself in the eyes of an increasingly affectionate media by opting out of the crowd of Republican governors who joined in a multi-state lawsuit challenging the legitimacy of the Affordable Care Act. Christie declined to sign, citing his reluctance to commit his state to the 2,000-page statute and its attendant cost. But these reasons don’t hold water. The cost to New Jersey of joining in the suit would have been 1,000 dollars, and the 2000 page brief could have been properly vetted within a couple of business days by the legal staff readily available to the task. In fact, WOOF must conclude that Christie is a closet Obamacare supporter. Certainly, he is an effusive, even a combative supporter of RomneyCare. In fact, RomneyCare seems to be about the only thing Christie liked about Romney. Christie joined the glut of Democratic governors crowding the federal trough to scoop up ObamaCare funds for “high-risk” insurance pools. Where most Republican governors opted out, Christie raced in to score the 140 million set aside for New Jersey.  Just politics? All the more reason for circumspection, we would argue.

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True, WOOF must acknowledge that Christie vetoed the state’s insurance-exchange legislation, but please note that he did so only at the eleventh hour and only after a massive amount of exhortation from the Right that he do so, and he felt so bad about giving even this degree of offense to Our Beloved Leader that he followed up his veto with his on-the-record assurance that  “my Administration . . . stands ready to implement the Affordable Care Act if its provisions are ultimately upheld,” which of course they were (thanks, Justice Roberts!) Christie, in fact, has long been an advocate of universal health insurance, and the governor consistently supports funding increases for his state’s “FamilyCare” — New Jersey’s state-subsidized healthcare program. WOOF realizes that many readers will argue that federalism is exactly where any “public option” belongs—as determined by the individual states, not the central government! But Christie has okayed funding for FamilyCare at the level of 350 percent of the federal poverty level, and these are not the actions of a man who would, in actual fact, ever consider repealing ObamaCare on a national level!

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Bad RINO! No biscuit!

Remember when, earlier in this screed, we quoted Bob Vander Plaats in Iowa as having said of all this, “This would suit [Christie] a lot better if he were running as a Democrat?”  Okay, you probably don’t remember, but that’s okay—our minds wander too. Anyway, Mr. Plaats—don’t you think he is running as a Democrat? That’s the idea here, after all—and it’s the modus operendi of the RNC and the RINO population of Insider DC. It can be summarized by saying that to them, the modern, electable Republican is more or less “Scoop” Jackson, or maybe Sam Nunn, just a pragmatic Democrat from the olden days. (Remember those Democrats?) who’s not a commie and shows up at the right conventions.

Teletubbies love each other very much!

Teletubbies love each other very much!

Most readers will recall that Christie’s most deplorable display of Obama-era sycophancy came on the heels of Hurricane Sandy when he infamously threw himself into Our Beloved Helmsman’s arms and shared a bizarre, teletubbie moment on the Atlantic City Board Walk. The notorious hug! Alas, this is one of those uncomfortable moments when WOOF must interject, even into its own heated fustian, the unvarnished truth and admit that in fact, this is not what happened—the Governor never fully or entirely embraced the First Marxist, contrary to the mountains of partisan reportage both left and right that support the event’s occurrence. But the Governor’s assertion that he merely shook hands is also untrue! As an amplitude of photographs suffice to demonstrate, POTUS and Christie gamboled together along the boardwalk like mutually smitten teenagers, and even vied for stuffed animal prizes at various game stalls.

Remember--walkin' in the sand!

Remember–walkin’ in the sand!

Yes, and at one stop, Christie pegged a football through a hoop with one toss and won a teddy bear (awww!) after Our Beloved Leader missed it five times. (Did you imagine otherwise?)  And after endless displays of back slapping, mutual giggling and arm-in-arm camaraderie, Christie bestirred himself to praise the Bamster effusively, declaring, (in the midst of a heated presidential election, you’ll recall) that “It’s been a great working relationship,” and “I cannot thank the president enough for his personal concern and compassion for our state.”  Christie insisted it was his “honor” to turn the podium over to the First Marxist, saying the president had been “outstanding,” “incredibly supportive” and “deserves great credit.”  All right, this was after all the President of the United States, and the Governor’s state needed federal help after hurricane Sandy, we’ll grant you. But is this the sort of major news one wishes to make in a tightly contested election year when one’s man is supposedly Mitt Romney? You know you have trouble on the right when it takes the NY Times to center you, and it was the Times that wrote: “As the president and the governor flew over the devastated Jersey Shore, at least one resident seemed to be staying on message.  At the north end of Point Pleasant Beach, someone had etched in the sand: ‘ROMNEY.’”

In retrospect, writing his name in the sand may have been prophetic--just sayin'.

In retrospect, writing Romney’s name in the sand may have been prophetic–just sayin’.

Miscellaneous murmurings:

Then there was the Great Romney Snub—that moment during the campaign of 2012 when Christie was supposed to make the short hop from Trenton to appear with Romney at a Pennsylvania rally, but couldn’t manage to show. Instead, he was reportedly home weeping, so overcome was he by the fact that the President had Bruce Springsteen call him and thank him for his efforts in the aftermath of hurricane Sandy. Evidently this blew Romney clean out of Christie’s consciousness. He couldn’t wait to tell a Monday morning briefing that Springsteen (a rigidly conformist, establishment Leftist) had called him. Christie admitted the call left him in tears of gratitude because, he explained, he was “The Boss’s” biggest fan (which is entirely possible—okay that was low), having attended 120 Springsteen concerts despite the fact that Springsteen had doggedly refused to speak to him on numerous occasions. Given these details, one can easily see how Romney slipped Christie’s mind…sort of.

"Tramps like us, right, Bruce??" Definitely not the Romney rally.

“Tramps like us, right, Bruce??” Definitely not a Romney rally.

Consider also that the Governor recently spent 24 million on two quick special elections to replace the late Democratic Senator Frank Lautenberg when he could have easily and cheaply installed a Republican appointee to the seat for eighteen full months. Instead he appointed a Republican to serve only until the special election. While in office, said Republican’s only memorable vote was cast for “immigration reform.” So maybe the special elections were a better idea after all.

And now for something completely unrehearsed!

And now for something completely unrehearsed!

Perhaps most tellingly, Christie has gloried in public chastisements of other Republicans whom he seems to regard as annoyingly right wing. These include Newt Gingrich about whom he said, “Speaker Gingrich has never run anything,” Peter King, who attacked Christie’s Islamophilia and was dismissed by the Governor who quipped, “Whenever he mentions my name he gets himself on TV,” and the NRA, which Christie scolded for mentioning Obama’s children in a (trenchant and effective) TV commercial; and as if this were not a sufficient catalog of effronteries, dear readers, the man next saw fit to attack the beautiful and talented Sarah Palin, suggesting that her speaking was too tightly scripted. Palin shot back from the shapely hip, contending that, “[Christie’s] got a shtick going there where he’s got a YouTube videographer following him around, kind of these set-up situations sometimes so he can be seen as perhaps a little bit avant-garde and going rogue on things.” Scripted? We think not! And it will not surprise regular WOOF readers to learn that we consider the matter resolved in Mrs. Palin’s favor.

Finally, there is the remaining matter of Christie’s most recent dust-up with the pesky Rand Paul. Back in July, Governor Christie took time out of his busy schedule to reflect on Senator Paul’s political philosophy, opining that, “As a former prosecutor who was appointed by President George W. Bush….I just want us to be really cautious because this strain of libertarianism that’s going through both parties right now and making big headlines, I think, is a very dangerous thought.” On the bright side, of course, Governor Christie seems to have detected a strain of libertarianism in the Democrat Party, so he has a sharper eye than we have!  On the bleaker side, doesn’t this point up a snotty contentiousness on Christie’s part that is simply intended to ingratiate him to the Liberal Establishment Media? And isn’t that the same path to destruction down which ambled a deluded John McCain in 2008, seemingly persuaded that his “frenzsh” in the media were actual, rather than transparently temporary? Must our latest Charlie Brown take yet another run at the liberals’ football in 2016?

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But what we wanted to close with was this: After an exchange of barbs that lasted a couple of news cycles, Rand Paul decided to play the bigger man (oops, we did it again) and invite Christie to resolve their differences over beers. Christie’s response was characteristically ill-tempered:

Maybe I should have said Miller Lite?

Maybe I should have said Miller Lite?

“I don’t really have time for that at the moment,”Christie told a local radio interviewer.  “I’ve got work to do here to get reelected … [and] dealing with the other issues that invariably come on the desk of a governor when you are responsible for actually doing things and not just debating.” Maybe beer is the problem. Maybe Paul should have made a second offer, tendering Diet Cokes?

Christine in '16!  WOOF remains adamant, but sensibly flexible.

Christine in ’16! WOOF remains adamant, but sensibly flexible.

No matter– by the time you read this we can guarantee you that Christie will have won re-election in New Jersey (two cheers!) and the Liberal Establishment Media will be experiencing paroxysms of giddiness, jointly envisioning him as the logical Republican candidate in 2016. “A pragmatist!” we’ll be told, “not a hopeless ideologue!” (Because only the Left gets to run those!)

We must not succumb to this propaganda, Woofketeers! We must oppose this effort by the Liberal Establishment to reinvent the candidacies of Bob Dole, John McCain, and yes, dear Mitt whom we mention fondly but without the slightest supposition that we are mentioning a man of the Authentic Right. For our parts, as you probably guessed, we continue to staunchly advocate the candidacy of our perennial favorite, Christine O’Donnell, but in the circumstances we are prepared to remain flexible.  And if the moribund RNC seems determined to take another run at Lucy’s football, we may become so flexible that….well…let’s just say Reince Priebus won’t love us any more. Are you reading this Reince Priebus? We know you’re out there. How do you pronounce that, anyway? Did you make it up or something? Are you even real? Anyhow….happy election day, everyone!  

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WOOF WISHES TO ACKNOWLEDGE that this particular post resulted in our being banned from “Conservatives” on Reddit, by a moderator who accused us of spamming–but coincidentally posted a sidebar (that very day!) about how wonderful Chris Christie is. For gosh sakes, Reddit, is there no room for dialogue?

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Design: Mark Ewbie

The RINOs are restless–so WOOF scans the Bushes and decides a WARNING is in order!

In "Christine in '16" forum on May 2, 2013 at 9:09 am

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 “Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice.” –Tom Paine

Something slow and big is happening in the media, and WOOF has a sickly feeling that it will not be to the Nation’s benefit—no, WOOF does not like it, not one little bit. We also have a theory that nobody dumb or unserious enough to endorse Barack Obama for the presidency either last year or in 2008 can be plausibly engaged in pronouncing on what may best enable the Republic to recover (if it is, indeed to recover) from his treasonable abuse of the military, the exchequer, and the Constitution. We think now of Christopher Buckley, who proved that the apple can fall acres from the tree by reading Obama’s autobiography, and declaring himself an Obama supporter because “He is that rara avis, the politician who writes his own books. Imagine.” Well, of course one would have to imagine, because the assertion is plainly humbug. We realize now that Obama doesn’t even give his own speeches, they are projected for his annoyingly clipped verbalization onto the Presidential Teleprompter, without which technology he is virtually incoherent, besides which his first (and only readable) book was ghosted for him by terror bomber Bill Ayers. But Buckley scored big with the bi-coastal élites for mocking his pop and endorsing a palpable subversive for the Nations highest office, and if he escaped having his own highly paid TV program on CNN or MSNBC, it is only because his erudition remained at a level that would have left the fan base of Blitzer, Colbert, or Ed Schmidt mystified. WOOF predicts that Mr. Buckley’s voice will be among the many calling for moderation and civility as the election of 2016 approaches.

Christopher Buckley--"Sorry, dad!"

Christopher Buckley–“Sorry, dad!”

Avoid moderation at all costs!

Peggy Noonan--in whom hope has faded!

Peggy Noonan–in whom hope has faded!

Peggy Noonan, of whom WOOF was once intensely fond, will never have her own show on MSNBC or anywhere else in the vast wasteland because her breathy, dewy-eyed histrionics defy Marshall McLuhan’s cool-medium injunction and put one in mind, from an auditory standpoint, of ABC’s chronically hyperventilating Anne Compton—alas. But if sheer perfidy were sufficient to earn the slot, she’d be the princess of prime time. Not only did she ensure her media status by endorsing Obama in 2008, she routinely obliged the networks and liberal dailies by sniping at poor Romney over the course of his ill-starred 2012 campaign. Noonan, sad to say, has learnt the lesson of eternal popularity and uninterrupted screen time in an era of liberal media dominance—just be a verifiable Republican (loyal Reaganite, Reagan speech writer) who is willing to berate other Republicans, preferably those to the right of John McCain, while affecting to be reasonable. Lately we have columnist Kathleen Parker nobly averring “It’s time to denounce the harsh partisans who feed on polarization—it’s time to give independents a voice.” A voice? All anybody seems to worry about is independents! How about worrying about America, Kathleen?

Let us not dwell here on the irony that the only “harsh partisans” Kathleen Parker is likely to concern herself with henceforth will be on the Right…

Kathleen Parker--report any incivility to her!

Kathleen Parker–aka Miss Manners. Report any incivilities to her!

Or the fact that this will present a comparative challenge since evidence of harsh incivility on the Right is almost always inferred through deliberate misinterpretation or through a surreal indifference to context (e.g., Limbaugh’s “phony soldiers” remark, or Palin’s alleged responsibility for the wounding of Gabrielle Giffords), while the vast majority of rampaging extremists are on the Left- where their seething obloquy is studiedly ignored. This inconsistency is never acknowledged on the Left where the liberal worldview pretermits any recognition of extremists like Reed, Pelosi, Van Jones, Michael Moore, Al Gore or, indeed, the likes of Hugo Chavez who was eulogized following his delinquent departure from this temporal veil by every liberal who could put his hankie down long enough to man a keyboard.

In this contrived earnestness for moderation, the planted axiom is a head fake. The notion that both sides have to meet in the middle is a con because the Left defines the middle. Converts like Michael Smerconish, who recently discovered that conservatism was “contributing to incivility and gridlock,” and David Gergen, who more or less pioneered the squishy Republican middle, mumble inanities ostensibly “from the middle ground” and the Leftist News Media shower them with encomia and proclaim them “wise” for bravely approaching the wondrous center. Indeed, the liberal media are fuming, currently over the absence of moderate Republicans, but in reality it is hard to throw a rock without hitting a cluster of them! Once again, contrary to all reason, the Republicans even ran a moderate for the Presidency—and once again they were defeated. It is the moderate Democrat who must be presumed extinct in the wake of health care’s passage…but the disappearance of this particular species bothers the Left not one iota. Instead, the Left exhorts centrism of a nature so mutated from what any reasonable individual might envision as to defy plausibility, and only the Right is beckoned thither. What the Left calls centrism is nothing more than workaday liberalism lowered a few decibels and dressed up like David Brooks.

David Brooks: Maybe he should've written in Chris Buckley?

David Brooks: Maybe he should’ve written in Chris Buckley?

Another plot? Another plot!

It is with all this in mind that WOOF must turn its attention, briefly, we hope, to a newly risen plot on the sinistral fringe, once again manifesting itself as the sensible middle. That anybody might fall for this may seem incredible to the average pig farmer or supermarket cashier, but in the febrile climes of Bloomberg’s New York and that enchanted realm inside the Beltway, the notion that Republicans must reach toward the center in order to succeed is as rampant as Chlamydia in a bordello. And via this hoax are transmitted numerous conspiracies to finish off the conservative cause—and a favorite game of this nature is that of ensuring the nomination of presidential candidates who cannot compete effectively against determined radicals of the Left. Men like Gerald Ford, Bob Dole, John McCain and Mitt Romney come fleetly to mind in this regard. Naturally, once the left has baited the Republican establishment into nominating some hapless moderate, they switch and vilify the nominee whom only the day before they hailed as sensible and electable, ranting suddenly that he is craven, heartless, and impossibly reactionary. A corollary scam is the use of the left wing’s monopoly on media to persuade any American with ears that any Republican to the right of, say, David Frum, is a hopelessly moronic Neanderthal, and an embarrassment to all true conservatives living and dead. This might as well be called “Palinization,” so effectively was it worked upon the former governor of Alaska.

Palin--well known psycho ditz, obviously planning her next mass shooting!

Palin–well known psycho ditz, obviously planning her next mass shooting!

So all we need to do, Woofketeers, is watch our TVs, go to the movies, turn on the radio or pick up a newspaper and we will be amply persuaded that the best and only viable Republican nominee for the presidency in 2016 will be some quasi-progressive milquetoast, whereas whomever you or we might prefer to nominate would embarrass the party, the country, and quite possibly the planet given how dumb, naive, and out of touch that person will repeatedly be said to be. We will find ourselves saying of a Sarah Palin, a Michele Bachmann, or yes, even the amazing Christine O’Donnell, (WOOF’s perpetual candidate for everything) “well, they’re just not electable!” And the news personalities and the pollsters and the wise men of the center will be right there jabbering, “Amen, amen, amen!” And this terrible, strength-sapping process is once again engaged, fellow patriots, in a manner destructive of our national interest! Have you noticed a strange confluence of events?

Palin, Paul. Bachmann and O'Donnell--all sadly un-electable according to the Obama Media...so we get Jeb?

Palin, Paul. Bachmann and O’Donnell–all sadly unelectable according to the Obama Media…so we get Jeb?

What’s up with that?

News item: On the 25th of this month, the George W. Bush presidential library opened in Dallas Texas with the President and every living former president in attendance, and  Bill Clinton said nice things about W, and even the normatively venomous Jimmy Carter allowed as how W’s humanitarian efforts in Africa were laudable and went so far as to credit him with saving countless lives.

News item: A spat of polls suddenly appeared indicating that while Bush had left the White House (booed vociferously by the insensate throngs as he exited on the day of Our Beloved Leader’s coronation) at a popularity rating of only 23% positive, he has now added twenty points to that score—without lifting a finger, really—and is rated positively by around 43% of Americans—even-steven with the current President, who continues to lose ground despite the most hortatory press coverage of any world leader since Prester John.

News item: It transpires that George W. Bush paints—pictures, that is. The media are bursting with stories about this undiscovered dimension of the man—his private, sensitive side. Diane Sawyer, the official den mom of “cope” television, was agog at this evidence of his depth of personality. She hadn’t looked so simultaneously astonished and delighted since discovering that the tsunami survivors in Japan were still recycling.

W shows off one of his paintings--(it's a dog)

W shows off one of his paintings–(it’s a dog)

News item: Former President George W. Bush made it clear that he considered his younger brother, Jeb, to be the optimal choice for the 2016 Republican nomination, adding, “He would be great. He’d be a marvelous candidate if he chooses to do so. He doesn’t need my counsel ’cause he knows what it is, which is ‘run.’”

News Item: Last Thursday morning, NBC’s Matt Lauer asked former first lady Barbara Bush whether she wanted to see her son, Jeb, run for president in 2016. ”He’s by far the best qualified man,” she said, “But no, I really don’t.” (Mom’s are supposed to say that, right?)

News item: Writing for The Washington Post blog, “The Fix,” Chris Cillizza exclaimed that “No one doubts that if he ran, Jeb Bush would start the race as the GOP front-runner by dint of his record as governor, his policy chops and the power that his last name conveys in Republican politics.” Really, Chris, and you looked all over the place and you discovered that no one doubts this? Gentle readers, this is not how news is reported, it is how news is created.

News item: Jeb Bush has written a book.

Well, half a book, anyhow. There's still time for a whole one!

Well, half a book, anyhow. There’s still time for a whole one!

Do we see where this is headed?

Make no mistake, gentle readers, WOOF is happy about W’s renaissance. No President was ever more maligned, traduced, and deliberately misrepresented to the American public than Bush 43 —and there were no Democrat centrists calling for an end to the nasty jokes, the accusations, the conspiracy theories, or the allegations of deceit, not to mention insane imputations of genocidal duplicity in the wake of hurricane Katrina. WOOF agrees that it’s nice to see the American public at last overcoming the agitprop and getting Bush 43 in belated perspective—but it is worrisome to see how much help in this regard is coming suddenly from the Left. Presidential historian Douglas Brinkley pretended to explain the sudden sea change with the standard persiflage, telling Americans that “We pummel presidents when they’re in the White House,” and suggesting that Bush’s reputation was overdue for a surge. But his assessment, reported dutifully even by FOX News, is pure bologna. The fact is, only Republican presidents are subjected to this level of vitriol, and no one previously in history, not even Nixon, endured it to the extent that it was heaped on W—and this mainly because the media establishment, which began as implicitly liberal during the Eisenhower administration and progressed during the post Vietnam decade to intensely liberal, swung into full blown bombastic liberalism during the Bush 43 era…and thence into the brain-dead rubber-stamp mode with which it greeted the election of Our Beloved Helmsman. All that said, the elites appear to be scheming again, and they may suppose themselves to have laid hold of the next Romney/McCain/Dole-style patsy.

Jeb considers 2016

Jeb considers 2016

Jeb Bush is the perfect Republican candidate if you scan the horizon from the political left. And make no mistake, the Republican National Committee scans the horizon from that vantage point just as surely as does the DNC. One can easily forecast the media working in close combination with its bosses in the DNC and an utterly complicit batch of country-club Republican kingmakers to make the nomination of Jeb Bush appear inevitable as 2016 approaches, just as his brother’s suddenly seemed in 2000.  WOOF must take polite exception for the following reasons:

First, while Jeb would be vastly preferable to Obama or Hillary, (or Biden, in case anybody takes that possibility seriously), there are at least four exceptional and authentically conservative candidates who would prove (no matter what the sovietized American media tell us), far more electable in 2016 than another Bush, especially considering how swiftly the press will turn on the Bush Dynasty the moment they have their candidates in place. No more nice remarks about paintings, no more warm recollections of lives saved at home or abroad—only the renewed drumbeat of antipathy and blame. Was it not thus with John McCain, who entered the presidential race in ’08 foolishly persuaded that the media adored him?

Why avoid the Bushes?

So what’s so bad about a Bush dynasty in American politics? Why is WOOF sounding alarm bells? First, let’s examine the record. Was W a conservative president? Of course liberals all think so, for the same reason they labor under the misapprehension that Nixon was a conservative—because he was a Republican and he wasn’t a socialist, or in Nixon’s case, not exactly a socialist. But that’s where the resemblance stops. In Bush’s case there is the admirable fact that he understood supply-side economics, consistently stimulating the economy with tax cuts—but he utterly ignored entitlement spending, and backed legislation that contributed to it. He doubled public spending in eight years, outspending Bill Clinton if only because Clinton was saved from economic disaster by  Newt Gingrich’s congress and brought to heel despite himself, thus reviving an economy he’d run into the ground during his first two years.

family

Bush’s unwillingness to seal the border with Mexico still baffles us at WOOF—was he simply sold on the open borders policy as a means of wooing Hispanic voters, or was he in the pocket of the New World Order, however conceived, or was he sticking up for business cronies who relied on cheap labor? WOOF is clueless (for once) but his obstinacy hurt America and served the purpose of liberalism. There is no indication that brother Jeb will not follow suit.

wfb

William F. Buckley Jr.–conservatism’s Prometheus.

In 2009 CBS News was happy to grant William F. Buckley Jr. a lengthy interview (by news bite standards) so that he could decry Bush 43’s spending habits and denounce his foreign policy as “indecipherable,” which is an excellent term for the morass Bush created in Iraq by arriving in Baghdad and turning out to have no follow through plan whatsoever other than to paint a bulls eye on his forces and hunker down. Syria should have fallen to converging Israeli and pivoting American forces within days of Baghdad,, but instead the Bush war makers seemed to go out of their way to mire themselves in an increasingly hostile Iraq, bereft of any vision for an attack on the terror exporters in Damascus, or of a follow-up exploitation of massive discontent in Iran that might have toppled that regime and ended its terrorist history. Instead, Bush left the war in the Middle East in that condition that Buckley labeled with exactitude.

Our point here is not that W was bad or stupid (which assertion we are content to leave to the Left), but rather that he was by no means conservative, by no means libertarian, and in matters of foreign policy very nearly Wilsonian, which is to say almost criminally idealistic. Let us not be herded further into the Bushes by a liberal scheme to defang the Right in 2016 and replace Palin or Paul (or O’Donnell!) with yet another innocuous center-leftist, which we very much regret to say is what Jeb Bush amounts to.

ADDITIONAL REASONS TO AVOID A BUSH CANDIDACY (if you need them)

Communizing our schools?

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We just heard him on NPR–they introduced him as “an educator.”

Jeb Bush’s ironically named Foundation for Excellence in Education is in the vanguard of the fight to keep the subversive, anti-American protocols of the Common Core educational format alive and flourishing in Florida—and elsewhere. Common Core is the latest mutation of the notorious CSCOPE (see our WOOF report) plot to brainwash American school children. It should be fought tooth and nail by every patriot, not promoted by Bush’s staffers! In a letter to the American Legislative Exchange Council’s board of directors, Patricia Levesque, executive director of Bush’s foundation, called the Common Core program a “crucial foundation” for reform and insisted that it will better prepare students for a globalized economy—which may be true. It will also turn our children into America-loathing, collectivized ignoramuses…which fact ought surely to have occurred to Jeb Bush at some juncture? There is no excuse that WOOF can think of for Bush’s support of this transparently communist stratagem. At best, Bush’s association with Common Core bespeaks sheer ignorance of the forces arrayed against the Republic at this crucial hour. More probably, it exposes the professional political class’s disconnect from the realities of the American vision, and reeks of elitism and internationalism—both of which, in case you haven’t noticed, WOOF opposes.

Ties to a One-World Cabal?

We all know by now that George Bush Senior liked to allude to the New World Order during his presidency. In a speech before congress on September 11, 1991 he spoke new worldglowingly of “a rare opportunity to move toward an historic period of cooperation” and suggested that “out of these troubled times…a New World Order can emerge.” And that wasn’t Senior’s first mention of the matter, either. In January of that year he lauded “the peace and democracy of the emerging New World Order we now see—this long-dreamed-of vision we’ve all worked toward for so long.” Huh? To borrow the punch line from that old Lone Ranger and Tonto joke: “What you mean we, kemosabe?”

Is the Bush family in league with the Internationalist Elites who threaten our sovereignty, our constitution, and our rights to self defense?  WOOF is forced to conclude that they are, at the very least, insufficiently concerned about exempting themselves from such supranational fraternities. Jeb Bush’s association with the infamous Council on Foreign Relations (shudder!) is a case in point, and Jeb’s opinion of Romney’s candidacy, according to his new book, is that Romney moved so far to the political right during the election, he lost the Hispanic vote.  Lost it? WOOF believes with Muddy Waters that ‘you can’t lose what you ain’t never had!’

And they might be reptiles!

David Icke--he knows if you're a space reptile!

David Icke–he knows if you’re a space reptile!

And if all the above isn’t enough to discourage you from falling in line with the media’s Jeb Bush initiative, consider this: The entire Bush family may actually be reptiles! Yes, British conspiracy expert, Green Party spokesman and BBC television personality, David Icke, has published extensive research indicating that blood-drinking reptilian aliens from the Alpha Draconis system have resided on our planet for centuries, inhabiting vast subterranean cities while conspiring against humankind. Icke has worked tirelessly to expose this interplanetary plot to enslave our species, and contends that many of the leaders on today’s world stage are actually shape-shifting “reptoids.” You may find this allegation difficult to credit, gentle readers, but consider this: Icke’s evidence is so compelling that a 2013 Public Policy Polling survey indicates that as many as 4% of America’s registered voters believe that reptiles from space have infiltrated positions of leadership worldwide. Among these reptilian infiltrators, according to Icke, are the Bush family, Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, Al Gore, the entire steering committee of the Bilderberger Group, Hillary Clinton, Kris Kristofferson, and Boxcar Willie. Alas, even the mind-bogglingly beautiful Jenna Bush is not immune from suspicion.

That’s right; clear, highly implicative video tape exists of Jenna absent-mindedly morphing into a lizard girl while being interviewed on FOX News, and while WOOF feels obliged by some semblance of conscience to refer our readers to the following site: alienpet for a complete discussion of how clandestine reptoids are unwittingly depicted by television cameras, we also want Jenna to know that even if she is a reptile, she’s definitely WOOF’s nominee for the most brilliantly inspired shape shifter on this planet or any other! But we digress…

jenna

Jenna turns reptoid on FOX–we still love her, though!

It’s not just four families or whatever!

WOOF is firmly convinced that the Liberal Establishment Media will conspire with the RNC establishment in Washington to place a non-conservative candidate at the top of the 2016 Republican ticket. This must not be permitted to occur. WOOF has great affection for the Bush clan, and likes Jeb a lot for a lot of reasons, but Jeb Bush is not the man who will lead us out of the Obama wilderness. At best, he would only make the wilderness more bearable.

And thus WOOF finds itself in the peculiar position of agreeing simultaneously, and on the same point, with Barbara Bush, Al Sharpton, and David Letterman; namely that America should “Stay out’n the Bushes!” to use Sharpton’s unforgettable epigram. Or as Jeb’s mom rather more benevolently put it, when asked why she would prefer her boy to resist the call, “We’ve had enough Bushes. It’s not just four families, or whatever.”

Exactly, Mrs. Bush! Exactly!

Christine O'Donnell looks to the future!  (If that guy could just get his shoulder out of the way!) and WOOF feels prompted to point out that our preferred candidate is not only the single Republican in the field who has publicly testified that she is not a witch, she is also nowhere on record as being accused of being a reptoid. We checked! Another good reason to make it Christine in '16!

Christine O’Donnell looks to the future! (If that guy could just get his shoulder out of the way!) And WOOF feels prompted to note that our preferred candidate is not only the single Republican in the field who has publicly testified that she is not a witch, she is also nowhere on record as being accused of being a reptoid. We checked! Another good reason to make it Christine in ’16!

PATRIOTS SHOCKED: O’DONNELL LOSES IN LANDSLIDE!

In "Christine in '16" forum on November 22, 2012 at 8:23 pm

No demand of a recount?

Yes, the apparent truth, however incomprehensible, in the wake of the November 6th surprise re-election to the American presidency of foreign-exchange student Barack Hussein Obama, is the Goldwater-esque shellacking sustained by WOOF’s nominee, Christine O’Donnell. Miss O’Donnell does not appear to have carried a single state of the Union in contrast to the President, who won a total of 303 electoral votes (with Florida and Kenya still contested as of this writing). Mitt Romney, son of George Romney, the former Governor of Michigan, appears also to have finished ahead of O’Donnell. Shocked patriots, who expected a populist groundswell to put Miss O’Donnell in the oval office this January–following the boost she received from WOOF’s endorsement–are scratching their heads in bewilderment at this heartrending outcome. To date, Miss O’Donnell has given no indication that she plans to request a re-count despite innumerable instances of voter intimidation and other irregularities at the polls. But WOOF supporters will be heartened to know that even as our special investigations division undertakes their inquiry into what role election fraud may have played in O’Donnell’s defeat, our swag shop is gearing up to churn out bumper stickers reading “Don’t blame me, I voted for Christine O’Donnell!”

WOOF ALERT: Woof’s presidential election endorsement is finalized.

In "Christine in '16" forum on October 31, 2012 at 2:28 am

“I am not a witch!”

WOOF, as steady readers are aware, nearly nominated William F. Buckley Jr. for the upcoming Republican presidential nomination in 2012. Readers new to this tradition should be apprised that the Constitution at no juncture stipulates that a presidential nominee or sitting President be alive. WOOF wavered however, over the summer, considering whether the attractive, and brilliantly talented former Miss Venezuela, (and Miss World Teen) Maria Conchita Alonso, might prove a likely substitute. Readers will recall that Miss Alonso confronted the known communist Sean Penn (American Thespian/Vulgarian) at the luggage claim section of LAX,, accurately denouncing him as a “communist as*hole” and haranguing him for supporting Venezuelan Red Kingpin, Hugo Chavez, whom, readers will recall, Evangelist Pat Robertson presciently but unavailingly advised the CIA to assassinate in 2005.  WOOF generously offered to Photoshop a U.S. birth certificate for Miss Alonso in the event she decided to run, but Miss Alonso’s representatives have subsequently informed WOOF that the comely Cuban-born actress has more pressing engagements. Disappointed but undaunted, WOOF has pressed ahead in its review of likely candidates. WOOF has determined that these are desperate times for our nation demanding Americans of unique vision and performance—evincing a new and passionate level of individualism…and…possibly also dressed as ladybugs.                                

Yes, WOOF is courageously endorsing Christine O’Donnell! Smart? She was the only person at her ill-starred debate with the subversive Chris Coons (D, Del) back in 2010, who realized that “separation of church and state” is not in the First Amendment.  This fact was lost on the socialist totalitarian network media which hooted gleefully for about a  week at O’Donnell’s alleged failure to realize the language was the very heart and soul of the amendment, which no one to the left of John McCain ever seems to have read, including Comrade Coons! WOOF also recalls that Miss O’Donnell ran for the Senate in 2008, too, losing to the incumbent Joe Biden, who has since gone on to become America’s unofficial court jester (about which more below) in a 65% to 35% squeaker!  Obviously Delawareans screwed up.  It is also important, in our opinion, to take note of the fact that Miss O’Donnell is the ONLY candidate thus far in the election season to have categorically denied being a witch.  Such denials from Governor Romney and Mr. Obama are conspicuous for their absence!  WOOF has not communicated the good news of its endorsement to Miss O’Donnell yet, but her comments may reasonably be expected in the wake of our decision.

A yellow tie, Joe–really?

               WOOF CONTEMPLATES: The mystery of Joe Biden

As recently as August of this year a Pew Survey found that 41% of those polled held a favorable opinion of Joe Biden, meaning, presumably, they didn’t consider him a laughable dunderhead and a hopeless embarrassment to his party, his nation, and Darwinists everywhere. [Not the actual language of the Survey]. Is there any hope for a nation in which over 40% of the people consider Joe Biden admirable? Or is the laughability factor a plus with some? In 1999 Al Gore’s vice presidential approval rating bottomed out at 47% after he explained that he’d been out of the room peeing a surfeit of ice tea when an illegal fundraising deal was consecrated at the His Lai (actual name!) Buddhist Temple in LA. Gore said this was “community outreach.” This was pretty funny, but it didn’t come close to most of Biden’s comedic sorties.  And George Bush senior, who was never funny except for the time he barfed on the Japanese Prime Minister, never scored as low as Joe—and Dick Cheney? He was only funny when he went hunting and shot a hunter. He bottomed out at 44%, so presumably Americans aren’t simply looking for comic relief in a vice president; but 41% of us still see something there. 

“IF I’VE LOST BIG BIRD, I’VE LOST THE COUNTRY!”

Many will recall—or maybe not so many—the famous remark by LBJ after watching Walter Cronkite throw the Viet Nam war in a 1968 newscast following the destruction of the Viet Cong during the Tet Offensive (a particularly bloody media event staged by the North Vietnamese Communists). Cronkite, in New York, having viewed the early footage, took to the airwaves to declare that the war “must end in stalemate.” Appalled, President Johnson ostensibly and in any case famously desponded, “If I’ve lost Cronkite, I’ve lost the country!” President Obama may be in even worse straits after releasing a particularly idiotic campaign commercial warning Americans that Romney’s intention to defund the subversive Public Broadcasting System would mean the end of Big Bird, a well known performer on the multi-billion dollar (non-profit and tax-payer supported) entertainment program “Sesame Street.”

Despite a history of liberal exhibitionism, including a particularly egregious performance dancing on the Great Wall of China shortly before the Chinese Communist massacres in Tiananmen Square, Big Bird apparently drew the line at being pressed into service by the Obama campaign and insisted the offending ad be removed from further broadcast. While Bird himself was not immediately available for comment, his legal representatives released the following statement on October 9th: “Sesame Workshop is a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization and we do not endorse candidates or participate in political campaigns. We have approved no campaign ads, and as is our general practice, have requested that the ad be taken down.” Experts tell WOOF the effects of Bird’s stinging rebuke may reach deep into Obama’s base where Bird is reported to be popular despite being a “one percenter.”

And finally, will Ayn Rand please call her office?

 For reasons that bewildered objectivists, Christians, Libertarians and all   of us here at WOOF’s secret headquarters, the producers of “Atlas Shrugged,”  (the tripartite cinematic version of Ayn Rand’s classic novel), elected to release part one of their opus for critical review prior to placing it in theatres. What were they thinking? Besides wondering why the producers didn’t just wait until the film was all knit together, we also marveled at their willingness to feed its first installment to the New York/LA critical establishment to be ripped asunder like a gazelle swarmed by ravenous hyenas. But what WOOF finds truly worrisome is this published statement by “Atlas” producer John Aglialaro, quote: “The integrity of the critics are going off a cliff. Why should I give them the sword and they are just going to use to decapitate me with?” Boy, we hope he isn’t writing the script—who needs John Galt telling the world: “You has sacrifice justice to merciness, and happifulness too duty”?