WOOF! Watchdogs of Our Freedom

Archive for the ‘“The Media are the Massage” forum’ Category

THE NEW MEDIA MAFIA—ALL IN THE FAMILY! (WOOF Daringly Exposes Incest in Post-journalistic America!)

In "The Media are the Massage" forum on February 19, 2014 at 3:22 pm

media mafia splashIt is difficult nowadays, especially as one casts one’s mind over the nearly endless inventory of impeachable offenses that Barack Obama has committed in office, and casually shrugged aside with the full complicity of the American press, to focus one’s mind on the fact that Richard Milhous Nixon was hounded from power because a group of third tier staffers bungled an effort to bug the Democrat campaign headquarters after which Nixon engaged in an upper tier effort to cover up the “in-house” nature of the operation, and also because he was silly enough to turn the tapes of himself orchestrating the cover-up over to the prosecution. Today, you could ransack America’s institutions of higher learning without discovering a single student capable of describing the follies and sins that culminated in Nixon’s expulsion from office—but they would all tell you he was evil, evil, evil….and because it fits their professors’ template, they all regard him as a conservative, never mind the patent ridiculousness of the label. It is a supreme irony, WOOF submits, that the man “who killed Joe McCarthy” (to borrow William Bragg Ewald’s chillingly ebullient phrase) was ultimately and even more spectacularly destroyed by the same liberal media that previously helped him undermine the Junior Senator.

Dick contemplates  ike's orders to shut down McCarthy--well, the guy IS a nuisance!who got the marching orders to

Dick contemplates
Ike’s orders to shut down McCarthy–well, the guy was a nuisance!

But while the vagaries of Nixon’s collapse can be argued –and have been argued—prolongededly in histories of the era, the most significant aspect of his demise goes generally unremarked—and that is the degree to which Nixon’s resignation inaugurated the epoch within which the radicalism of the late ‘60s began to institutionalize itself, subtly but surely, in the mid ‘70s.  The remarkable thing about the epochal shift that swept American culture was how casually it overcame us. Adult hair became lush, mustaches sprouted, ties became broad, music became puerile (remember “Disco Duck”?) and the economy began to malfunction (in the wake of Nixon’s Bretton Woods miscalculation).  Car companies quavered, Coke surrendered to Pepsi and issued “New Coke,” and a general sense of things Spenglerian filled the air—but nothing really seemed too different…nothing really seemed alarming.  Democrats still reminded us of Jack, Bobby, and Daniel Patrick Moynihan, and Republicans? Well, they were still of the Bob Dole, John Warner, Howard Baker variety with a little bit of Goldwater for sorely-needed color. The evil ones had been expelled–and while President Gerald Ford might have been seen as a  benighted yawp who hailed from Grand Rapids, fell down entertainingly and wore madras trousers with white socks, he was certainly not a villain…except that he pardoned the execrable Nixon,which was ultimately deemed unforgivable…by the press.
imagesCAZJW5S1

But television reporters didn’t seem that different. Not yet, anyway. They had bushier wigs and mustaches and thicker ties and maybe flared trousers and they wore side-zipping boots with big heels instead of shoes, but they just reported the news and the weather and the sports, same as ever. It would have taken a sociologist, and a particularly adept one at that, to accurately perceive the tectonic shift to the Left that locked us in its grip as Nixon gamely flashed his digital V-signs and lifted off aboard the Presidential helicopter for his final flight into ignominy. (Actually, he wrote two good books after that– but that’s not important now.)

As the great Irish poet Yeats once put it,Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; anarchy is loosed upon the world; The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned.” The center, you see, was cowed, confused, and propagandized into a sullen acceptance of its own desuetude in the 1970s, and one of the most vital elements of that center was the original 4th estate,  which, like the academy before it, crumbled like a termite mound in a stampede of wildebeests. When America decided the hip children of the ’60s could teach it more than Burke’s community of souls, the ’70s were a leftwing shoo-in. 

bob

Race guilt writ large on his countenance, Costa seems barely able to stand upright under the cumulative ancestral  guilt of centuries– a sportscaster haunted by his nation’s illicit, immoral existence– won’t somebody–anybody–help the man?

Have you noticed that even sportscasters are left wingers these days? Witness Bob Costa’s sanctimonious sermonizing at half time during a Redskins football game to the effect that the team’s name is “…an insult, a slur.”  How did this come about?  Why, for that matter, is ESPN a consortium of leftwingers? How come Kenny Mayne  can tweet dopey jabs at Sarah Palin with impunity while his colleague Adam Scheffer is free to  twitter wrathfully  against Republicans whom he believes to be attempting “a looming government shutdown,” but when the hapless golf pro Paul Azinger tweeted that President Obama seems to play more golf than he, Azinger, does, ESPN called him on the carpet and warned him to keep his politics to himself.  Yes, WOOF really needs a sports-watcher to keep an eye on the slide of American athletics into the fever swamps of leftist conformity—but for the purposes of this screed, we are willing to view it as part of the larger phenomenon.

It’s a family affair mafia_ii__that__s_amore_by_shadowcat2503-d34rjrr

The problem with the Liberal Establishment Media is far worse than we tend to consider, perhaps because it is qualitatively different from what we assume it to be. That we sense a problem at all is remarkable considering the fact that we are never told by the Liberal Establishment Media how bad the problem has become, or what it amounts to, or even that it exists. As survivors of journalistic epochs in which some news source was always babbling the dirt about one or another politician or political scam while exciting the notice of at least a few other news sources, it remains hard for us to grasp how utterly short-circuited this process is by the Obaman stratagem. A few years ago a New York  Times reporter refused to attend a press conference featuring military personnel, scientists, at least one astronaut and myriad credible witnesses of UFO phenomena from respectable walks of life because, he said, if there were any truth to UFOs, he would have read about it in the Times.  Similarly, during the Cambodian genocide following the collapse of South Vietnam, early refugees from the mass slaughter held a press conference in Washington DC to warn America of Pol Pot’s plans to reduce the Cambodian population by two-thirds and the reporter for the Washington Post walked out, telling folks in the lobby that she wasn’t interested in hearing anymore CIA lies. The Harvard Crimson was quick to back her verdict, declaring that “Stories of a bloodbath, as reported by other news agencies, cannot be verified and there is every indication that these accounts are lies.” [Full asinine story available here]

Caligula and his sister, Drusilla--these things almost never work out!

Caligula and his sister, Drusilla–these things almost never work out!

This, in a larger and more public context, is the mind set that blockades most Americans from grasping how far their trusted news networks have fallen into a mutated reification of what John Kerry, in far less plausible circumstances having to do with far less threatening events, called “a coalition of the bribed, the bought, the coerced and the extorted.” This purposeful and efficient dismantling of the American 4th estate would be the biggest news story in America, bar none, if there were any news operation willing to cover it (except us of course!)  But the biggest aspect of the story as it now stands vis-à-vis the Obama regime, is that an addition to Kerry’s epigram is essential.  Today’s lock-step, liberal news distorters are no longer merely motivated by bribery, coercion and extortion—no—there is now an even seamier element at work.  It can be recognized where the social and vocational cohorts of liberal politics and liberal journalism join hands–where the “second estate’s” Ruling Class and the “fourth estate’s” reportorial elites run toward one another in hoaky slow motion, and melt into one another’s arms as the background score escalates into a salacious crescendo and the two estates become one , locked in shared infatuation; in what Bernie Goldberg indelicately but memorably described as “a slobbering love affair.” The word for this is incest. Yes, it’s a metaphor as thus invoked, but barely. It bespeaks a singleness of purpose between the power elites and their supposed watchdogs in the media that has all but placed the two once disparate interests in the bouncing bed of nuptial unity—and in many instances, as you’ll note,  this is not a metaphor at all!  In fact, the Chicago Outfit that paraded into the White house with unprecedented levels of support from the drooling news media, has joined hands with those supporters and formed a “Family” in the strict Chicago style—although WOOF does not mean to imply any actual Mafia involvement—the Mafia, for one thing, is nowhere near as liberal as the media factions upon whom we bestowed the label by extension—and noticeably less devoted to multiculturalism.

“…worst president ever…”

WOOF's new friend: James Goodale

WOOF’s new friend: James Goodale

James Goodale, the former general counsel of the New York Times during its legendary battle to the death with the Nixon administration said recently that “President Obama will surely pass President Richard Nixon as the worst president ever on issues of national security and press freedom.”  Will pass him, James? He left Nixon in his dust during the first six months of the first term! A particularly brave effort has been made by the highly respected Committee to Protect Journalists, typically an organization concerned with abuses of press freedoms in military dictatorships and third-world backwaters, to expose the menace we now confront domestically. The Committee recently issued its first ever warning about American press freedom, authored by no less a hand than former Washington Post executive editor Leonard Downie, Jr. who lamented “the deterioration of journalism in the United States,” powerfully underscoring “just how extreme is the threat to press freedom posed by this administration.”  The report offers a comprehensive survey of the multiple ways that the Obama presidency has clamped down on the free press, instilling a paralyzing climate of fear, concluding that “In the Obama administration’s Washington, government officials are increasingly afraid to talk to the press.”  And nobody reports it!

But George Will went way too far

Will pictured pre-dinner party --obviously conniving how best to convert Reagan to conservatism!

Will pictured pre-dinner party –obviously conniving how best to convert Reagan to conservatism!

Where fear is useful, coziness is often twice as effective. In the early ‘80s there was a tremendous outcry that ABC commentator George Will should be fired or at least severely reprimanded for having the Reagans as his dinner guests at his private home. How, the talking heads clamorously inquired of one another, could one expect to report objectively while supping with the very plutocrats upon whom the criticality of the oppositional media was morally obliged to be focused? Of course, George Will was brought aboard at ABC precisely because he was a well-known conservative whom the network  tasked with offering conservative views as a conservative commentator, the utter novelty of such an inclusion having, ABC reasoned, a certain piquancy so long as the conservative remained outnumbered and assurances obtained that Sam Donaldson would interrupt him a lot whenever he ventured to establish an argument.  The idea that one of the most articulate defenders and purveyors of conservative opinion in America might have his reportage suborned over a glass or two of California Pinot Noir was so laughable that even NBC and CBS could not sustain their faux hysteria beyond a news cycle, and Will remained at his post. But here we are, three decades later, with the entirety of mainstream journalism either hob-nobbing with Obama, overlty supporting him, or directly –or by a very few degrees of separation– employed by him!  Employed by him? The Washington Post’s Ed O’Keefe has semi-regularly kept tabs on the number of reporters working for Obama’s administration, counting 10 in May 2009, 14 in 2010, and 13 in 2011. The Washington Examiner’s Paul Beddard counted 19 reporters working for “Team Obama” in February 2012. Remember, these reporters have not turned in their press passes for chauffeurs’ uniforms or feather dusters—no, these mavens and mavenettes remain in the business of giving you the news! Nor are these reporters the sort who might otherwise be written off as silly Jimmy Olsen types. Beddard linked them to CBS, ABC, CNN, Time, the Washington Post, the Boston Globe, and the Los Angeles Times just as a few examples.

Yet none dare call it incest!rose-family-in-nm-c.-92

For that matter. should it worry you that the president of ABC news, Ben Sherwood, is the brother of Elizabeth Sherwood, a top national security adviser to Our Beloved Leader?  Or that the President of CBS News, one David Rhodes, is the brother of top Obama adviser Benjamin Rhodes? If Ben’s name sounds familiar, that is likely due to his reported role in the editing of the now infamous Benghazi talking points—you remember: The ones that had to be re-written thrice because the first ones made no sense and the second ones were demonstrable lies. Or should it concern us that Tom Nides, who served as Hillary Clinton’s top adviser on security matters is married to Virginia Carpenter Moseley, who happens to be the producer for CBS News in Washington?

Comcast’s CEO Brian Roberts (major liberal fatcat) has donated $76,000 to Democrats since 2006, while keeping numerous golf dates with his buddy Barack—he is no stranger at White House meetings about technology and appeared at a number of White House discussions of “business technologies”–you know, stuff like your cell phone, your computer, smart energy and information sharing.  So we could pick out of our hat just any old major presidential crime or misdemeanor, like, oh, maybe leaving our guys to be slaughtered at Benghazi while their Commander in Chief played spades with an aide far from the Situation Room (as we now know him to have distracted himself during the crisis) and okay, now think about this: Hillary can’t be found (and turns out to have bumped her head, or to be lost in preparation for bumping it) leaving Tom Nides at State to oversee the butchering of our forces—but nobody ever quite figured out where he was either, nor did any intrepid reporter ever bother asking, not even his wife who’s in charge of ABC news, remember? CBS News President David Rhodes and ABC News President Ben Sherwood, both have siblings that not only work at the White House under the direct control of Valerie Jarrett (and, titularly, President Obama), but who share ties to the National Security Committee on Foreign Policy Issues, which is in turn tied directly to the Benghazi scandal

Once more, Benhazi on the left, Ben Gazarra on the right. (Another WOOF service for the uniformed voter.)

Once more, Benghazi on the left, Ben Gazzara on the right. (Another WOOF service for the uniformed voter.)

That Valerie Jarrett, the Islamo-radical, Iranian-born Communist, who is. of course, the President’s principle adviser in such matters, saw no cause for action and may well have considered the slaying of Americans in Libya that night an exercise in social justice, is nauseously plausible; but could not Obama have sought a slightly more American point of view on the efficacy of letting Benghazi burn while rescue forces were repeatedly told to stand down? That Jarrett would not permit input from chief advisor Dr. Elizabeth Sherwood, (whose vaunted specialty was her well-orchestrated “Preventative Defense” plans for exactly such regional contingencies) on the night of the 11th seems strange on the surface of it, and stranger still when it transpires that nobody can place Dr. Sherwood in the situation room either. No, Dr. Sherwood’s whereabouts on the night of the eight-hour battle of Benghazi are also a mystery—and any chances she had that night to speed help to our abandoned forces go unrecorded—and do you think it’s strange that the media never looked into this? Maybe you should ask Dr. Sherwood’s proud husband, Ben Sherwood, the president of ABC news.

Only Charlene Lamb, who denied additional protection to the consulate prior to the attacks, admitted monitoring the ensuing battle in real time. She doesn't seem to know where anybody else was during this 8-hr period. She has just been promoted.

Only Charlene Lamb, who denied additional protection to the consulate prior to the attacks, admitted monitoring the ensuing battle in real time. She doesn’t seem to know where anybody else was during this 8-hr period. She has just been promoted.

nakoula

“So, I;m guessing you boys didn’t enjoy the film, huh?”

How, apart from the cooperation of a large, loving, leftwing news family could anybody get away with what Susan Rice was allowed to blather for a full two weeks following the massacre? Weeks during which she and Hillary (whose bumped-head problem seemed to ebb and flow) spread with equal alacrity the irrational flapdoodle that a massive public uprising replete with rocket launchers and zeroed-in mortar support had suddenly fallen upon our defenseless consulate in Benghazi because of a video. The attack, the White House insisted, occurred only because four months earlier and 7, 120 miles away, an utterly unknown Coptic Christian immigrant named Nakoula Bassesly Nakoula screened an incoherent 13-minute video that purportedly showed Mohammed in a bad light to an audience of no better than nine curiosity seekers in a rented theatre on Vine Street in Hollywood. Armed with this fantasy, Rice trooped doggedly across the sets of every available weekend news program, bemoaning the film’s anti-Muslim tone and fingering it explicitly as the cause of “spontaneous popular uprisings” that overwhelmed the consulate and could not possibly have been anticipated. So utterly ludicrous were Rice’s talking points that the merest cub reporter untethered from the administration or unobligated by purblind ideological conformity to repeat the proffered idiotisms would have seen through them in an instant, but only the dextral blogosphere raised this point initially, and the “professional” newsreaders smiled condescendingly and spoke in charitable tones of the paranoia on the radical right.

What is especially interesting is that three of the White House officials implicated in the Benghazi fiasco are related in some way to mainstream media big shots. Tom Nides was then the number two at State and a close friend and confidant of Hillary’s—and the devoted husband of CNN executive news producer Virginia Moseley. Also at State, top advisor Ben Rhodes (later of the talking points debacle,) and a top security adviser to Barack Obama throughout the Benghazi catastrophe and beyond is the brother of one David Rhodes—you know, the president of CBS News.

Ari and Michael-- where CNN and the Administration hold hands.

Ari and Michael– where NPR and the Administration join hands.

And the there’s Jay Carney, cub press secretary, out there doggedly dodging any stray journalistic interrogatives (nonetheless annoying for their rarity) while mainly just troweling out the tripe du jour for the pabulum besotted Washington Press Corpse. Did you know that Jay has the good fortune to be married to Claire Shipman–veteran reporter and senior national correspondent for ABC?  And you may rest assured that Mrs. Claire Carney Shipman thinks that Jay is doing a superb and utterly professional job on each occasion that he appears at his podium to spread more malarkey. National Public Radio’s Ari Shapiro has been listening to the same malarkey from this white house for four years as his network’s top correspondent assigned to presidential coverage—so how did he miss noticing it? Is it possibly because his “husband,” boyfriend Michael Gottlieb, just finished a 4 year hitch as a Special Assistant to the president and as Associate White House Counsel, specializing in national security?

It’s all in the family!

archie

Well good night, nurse!!

Yes, we’ve come a long way since that thunderstorm of concern in the early ‘80s  that George F. Will might have lost his credibility as a broadcast journalist after an evening’s exposure to the Reagans’ table talk—and we haven’t thought about it much, it seems. The media are left wing, and that’s the way it is in life—in fact, we are confidently informed it is only to be expected inasmuch as liberals are smarter than conservatives, and bright young men and women hanker to become news reporters. The absence of any indications of brightness among the current throng is rarely cited by way of rebuttal—but the illogic of the position would require an honest news media before it were exposed as ridiculous—and there is no expectation that this is about to transpire.  But nothing short of politico-philosophical incest is at work in American journalism, and incest is notorious for spawning deformities of form and intellect–and this is no less so with the progenies of illicit liaisons between our first neo-Constitutional president’s crowd and the current bevy of unnaturally entangled propagandists who pose as objective journalists on our TV screens. It is on America’s TV screens that the fruits of journalistic incest are rotting on public display—but the ones who should be reporting the decay are busy doing the rotting.

The  distraction of myself…rick

It is the critical faculties that perish first in such instances—followed rapidly by the canons of taste. Take Rick Sanchez, ever a stranger to wit and decorum, who was finally let go by CNN after implying that Jews controlled television news. And what of Soledad O’Brien, who never made headlines until she was caught on camera reading from a leftist blog during a confrontational interview with Paul Ryan, while insisting she was holding documents from a Senator’s office. But Soledad persevered, running  CNN’s morning news program Starting Point so far into the weeds that in February, 2013, CNN had to yank her. The network graciously euphemized that O’Brien was leaving to develop her own company, but Soledad missed the cue and raised a stink about being dumped. (She does in fact now helm the Starfish group where her clients include  Al Jazeera America and some sports show on HBO.)

Keith Olbermann, who was originally fired by FOX Sports for being “crazy,” relocated to MSNBC where his melodramatic boil-overs provided consistent evidence for the comedic value of combining sanctimony and witless fustian. His histrionic run was undeniable fun for oglers, but Olbermann eventually got on everyone’s nerves and agreed to take his show on the road—switching to Albert Gore’s pathetic Current TV where he managed to draw an average of 100,000 viewers in the 25-54 age demographic making the program competitive, embarrassingly enough, with CNN.  But even Al Gore pronounced Olbermann unbearable and canned him. Today, of course, Current TV is Al Jazeera …but so far they haven’t hired Keith back.

oblbermannimages

And what of the British hosts who were imported by the Liberal Media Establishment in the apparent hope that billingsgate, if enunciated with an English accent, would be interpreted as sophisticated commentary by American yokels? Martin Bashir famously opined that Sarah Palin should be required to ingest excrement, which controversy hung in the air through enough news cycles that Bashir was finally called to the office of MSNBC’s network president, after which he announced his resignation, adding “It is my sincere hope that all of my colleagues, at this special network, will be allowed to focus on the issues that matter without the distraction of myself or my ill-judged comments.” Meanwhile, Piers Morgan –the fugitive from British justice who replaced Larry King at CNN—continues to lead that network’s ratings into the gutter…albeit with a fetching British accent.

American petions to have British CNN liberal Piers Morgan deported have inspired British petitions refusing him re-entry into England. So far, the British seem to be winning.

American petitions to have British CNN liberal Piers Morgan deported have inspired British petitions refusing him re-entry into England. So far, the British seem to be winning.

Anderson Cooper, who lacks a British accent and may be the least endemically interesting person in television history with the possible exception of Wolf Blitzer, remains relatively unwatched, despite his “courageously” coming out of the closet a while back. His AC 360 Later program (what does that even mean?) is now officially yanked, although Cooper will remain the anchor of CNN’s eight o’clock hour. Variety ascribed AC 360’s departure to “flailing viewership,” which is a frightening image—we sincerely hope they intended to say “failing.” but so far new owner Jeff Zucker hasn’t found anything unfailing to put on the air, and thus might be said to be flailing, should Variety wish to rehabilitate its verb. But expecting the Liberal Establishment Media to fail because it is widely scorned by viewers is a mistake—it prevails andersonbecause it represents a growing interweave of sociopolitical interests that are forming into a single, symbiotically enriching power elite part of which commands sufficient financial support to keep it babbling at us while establishing daily and weekly templates (like global warming, or amnesty for illegal aliens, or whether Ted Cruz is destroying the economy). Stuff, in other words, about which most Americans would never otherwise waste a thought, but stuff about which visiting Martians would assume every man, woman and child in America cares passionately given the din of the news shouters.

berieBut the problem with the Liberal Establishment Media has never been that they are simply run by professionals who haven’t gotten the hint yet—who haven’t gotten around to noticing that a bunch of left-leaning ideologues are slanting their broadcasts in ways that turn off even moderates and the storied “independents.”  The problem isn’t even that the management itself is so stolidly liberal that they would rather march into ratings oblivion than moderate their reportage—although this is a major factor, to be sure. The greatest problem now is that the management and service-delivery classes of “media” have socialized, flirted, necked with, and in many cases inter-married with the very politicians and power drivers upon whom they supposedly report—and nowadays, as we have noted above, the distinction between politician and reporter may be so completely blurred by the travesty of inbreeding as to amount to the creation of a new species: The political reporter who is imbedded not with a military unit, but with an administration—or who is married to someone who is thus embedded. The implications of this are nothing short of horrifying. There is no need for a totalitarian dictatorship to shoot reporters, open fire on TV stations or arrest newspaper owners in order to establish a government-controlled information monopoly if the same thing can be accomplished by fraternization with, and marriage among, a new-journalistic class of pie-eyed sympathizers who were in any case taught beginning with their earliest journalism classes that liberalism’s and journalism’s aims are one and the same.

media

Should another TV news franchise, just one other, take a libertarian or conservative editorial position in light of FOX’s extraordinary success, the board would be fully in play. Should Beck’s BLAZE venture obtain a more practicable conduit for its message, the playing field would be dramatically readjusted. And why shouldn’t this come to pass? The liberal media are already choking each other for viewers even as their ratings, albeit fitfully, continue to drop.  It is unlikely that any major network could shake so free of its liberal encumbrances as to fill this roll—it will almost certainly come from outside, but it seems an irresistible likelihood that such an endeavor will manifest. His realization of how potent a factor this could prove undoubtedly informed Al Gore’s otherwise unaccountable decision to refuse a higher dollar offer from Glenn Beck, and accept instead a slightly lower sum from Al Jazeera to acquire his failing and hopelessly dull Current TV channel.

"Al" Jazeera!

“Al” Jazeera!

Technological advances have broken the stranglehold of the Left on the business of “news,” and as progress continues, that hold will grow weaker still. Advocates of a free republic and a strong Constitution must make all possible efforts to spread the message of conservatism via the blogosphere, the AM and FM bands, and by all other means available while we await a second televised media outlet to widen our prospects on the boob tube. And it goes without saying, if any ridiculously wealthy benefactors are inclined to lavish funds upon us, WOOF TV could easily lead the way—if we can broadcast from our cave…we don’t know what the technicalities would be exactly, but we’re pretty sure we could overcome them with enough money…

Ready to broadcast!

Ready to broadcast!

What’s the frequency, Kenneth?

In 1987 Dan Rather said he was accosted on Park Avenue and beaten up by an assailant who continually demanded, “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?” Unlike many of the stories Dan has reported over the years, this one actually happened. It transpired that Dan’s assailant was a schizophrenic named Tager who believed Rather was bombarding his brain with evil electronic signals, which may well have been the case if Tager owned a television. But Tager may have inadvertently given right-minded broadcasters of vision and courage an interrogative akin to Ayn Rand’s John-Galt riddle—and as we grow in power and scope, we must remember Tager, and his schizophrenic insight, more actual than he could possibly absorb–and we must continue to ask of all the banal, bleating zombies of the mainstream media who bombard us with their agitprop–  What’s the frequency, Kenneth?  What’s the sound of one wing flapping?  And ultimately, all you moral relativists and blown-dry rascals –all you painted up progeny of Axis Sally and Lord Haw Haw, now that televised journalism is deadwhat’s the name of the game?

rubens

                                                                                       _____________________________________________

 

 

 

 

WHY ALL THE NEWS IS BAD! (Part Two)

In "The Media are the Massage" forum on September 12, 2013 at 11:44 pm

 9519748-1950-s-television-with-a-newscaster-reading-a-news-bulletin

Two million Americans vanish!

Now, wayyyy back in the olden days, Woofketeers, a group of motorcyclists who called themselves the “Booze Fighters” rode into the small town of Hollister California and stirred up a bit of a kerfuffle. The town was hosting a motorcycle rally, but some of the Booze Fighters (who were, and remain, aptly denominated) started some fights and caused a bit of damage. Despite the minor nature of the damage and the injuries, the “Hollister riot” became a national press sensation as headlines emphasized “pandemonium” and crazed motorcyclists commandeering a town. The press, in other words, found pay dirt in this virtual non event and hyperbolized it to such an extent that it finally became its own movie, The Wild One with Marlon Brando.  So what’s our point? Well, as Perry Mason always used to say, we intend to show relevance!

Everyone's seen "The Wild One." but did you ever see an actual Booze Fighter from that era? Yeahhh--Brando kinda got lost in translation.

Everyone’s seen “The Wild One.” but did you ever see an actual Booze Fighter from that era? Yeahhh–Brando kinda got lost in translation.

On September 11th, 2013, (yesterday as we post this) no fewer than 900,000 bikers, and perhaps as many as two million, entered the nation’s capital and jammed the streets of Washington DC. Further, they did so despite having been denied a permit, and further, they did so not only to pay homage to the victims of the assault on the World Trade Center, but also to protest the so-called Million Muslim March on DC scheduled for the same day.

The press kept countig and recounting the million Muslims--but they couldn't get much upwards of twenty.

The press kept counting and recounting the million Muslims–but they couldn’t get much upwards of twenty.

Washington DC is still practically immobilized by the legions of Harleys that swarmed into its environs on Wednesday, and the million Muslims? There were about a hundred of them, almost exclusively 9-11 Truthers and anti-Semites come to rave about the complicity of Dick Cheney, Israel and/or the infamous Halliburton weather machine in knocking down the towers and building number 7—only to be drowned out by the dirty thunder (in Hunter Thompson’s memorable phrase) of Harley Davidsons…a sound as American as Rock and Roll, the crack of a bat on a ball, or the report of a 1911 Colt. And did you even know it happened? Well, okay, you wouldn’t be reading WOOF if you weren’t extremely well informed, so you probably did know it happened, but believe us, your neighbors don’t have a clue, because so far as any of the Liberal Establishment Media were concerned, those thousands upon thousands of bikers might as well have convened on the dark side of the moon. The event was so studiously ignored by the dinosaur networks and their cable-news counterparts that people would have scratched their heads in bewilderment had they known what they weren’t allowed to know!

Nine-eleven "Truthers" get all the chicks!

Nine-eleven “Truthers” get all the chicks!

The news in America is no longer a process in which hard-bitten reporters and crusty city editors go after the story no matter where it leads and print the truth no matter whom it affronts—heck no. That’s so 1947!  The news today, especially the televised news, is propaganda spun to make Liberalism look good, and Conservatism look bad. And when events occur that contradict this theme and cannot be reconfigured to fit it, well…those events get “the spike,” which means they just didn’t happen. And that’s what happened to the motorcyclists in Washington DC. They just never happened on the news, because there was no way to give Obama credit for them, or make them look like they were advocating socialism. Are you kidding? Those bikers stood for unmitigated freedom, the Wild West, manifest destiny, the American Dream, and about a dozen other concepts that curdle the blood of the establishment drones that play reporters on television. So they got flushed down the memory hole even while they were clogging the avenues of the nation’s capital, gunning their 74’s and waving Old Glory! So, how did the media news get so treasonably propagandistic? How did the newshounds who turned Hollister into a national phenomenon devolute over a few decades into a credible pantomime of the three blind mice? Well, woofers, that’s what these WHITE PAPER reports are all about!

It was a bit harder to count the influx of patriotic, flag waving bikers as they swamped DC, but that didn't matter much because they were never really there to begin with!

It was a bit harder to count the influx of patriotic, flag waving bikers as they swamped DC, but that didn’t matter much because they were never really there to begin with!

Previously on “Why All the News is Bad”….

In our last self-importantly titled WOOF WHITE PAPER REPORT [view it here] we left you with the end of Dave Garroway’s career on the TODAY program, after explaining that Mr. Garroway’s departure together with the somewhat earlier exit (resulting from unspecified personal concerns) of J. Fred Muggs, the show’s chimpanzee co-host, signaled an end to the golden era of morning television news programming. TODAY was plunged into a dark age of dopiness that began with John Chancellor taking over the program—but sitting woodenly and officiously where Uncle Dave was the epitome of cool-medium sangfroid. Hugh Downs and Barbara Walters followed, and so on down a long chain of entropic embarrassments the worst of whom were undoubtedly the addle pate Jane Pauli and the perpetually tongue-tied Tom Brokaw—but we digress. Readers may rightly wonder that so iconic a figure as Garroway was not more broadly emulated by those who followed in his footsteps, and there are two reasons for this, really. First, Garroway was a natural, and TV producers do not typically look for naturals, they simply happen upon them, so that once such talent departs they are left to hunt for imitators who pretend to be natural—and that’s how you get Jane Pauley—but anyway….the second reason is the more pertinent:  By the time Garroway took his leave at the terminus of the Eisenhower era, the up-and-coming TV newsies had a new hero—one of mythological proportions. Somebody seriously important, seriously grave—seriously serious!

Many TODAY Viewers felt that he transition from Muggs to Brokaw bespoke a certain devolutionary trend--but studies indicate their vocabularies were virtually identical!

Many TODAY Viewers felt that the transition from Muggs to Brokaw bespoke a clear devolutionary trend–but studies indicate their vocabularies were nearly identical!

Even as the ‘50s shambled somnolently, unsuspectingly, toward the ‘60s, a subtle tectonic shift began to slide the American media leftwards, and this movement could never have rallied to genial Uncle Dave and his simian co-anchor—where’s the glory in that? No, while the crew at TODAY (and their imitators at the other two networks) proceeded to market a kind of cope-and-fluff badinage that mimicked only the least substantive aspect of the legendary Garroway, the rest of the go-getters in televised news fixated on that truest of all liberal emotions: Sanctimony. Sanctimony has taken the liberal media everywhere they’ve been—but what were its origins? Where was the journalistic standard for sanctimony established, and by whom? Our gentle readers will not be surprised to learn that WOOF has the answers!

Confronting the great evil… 

Classic Murrow--stand back so's you're not scorched by the righteousness!

Classic Murrow–stand back so’s you’re not scorched by the righteousness!

It was not Garroway whom the young Turks of broadcasting wished to emulate, no indeed. It was Edward R. Murrow. And what does everybody know about Edward R. Murrow? Why he and the CBS news department single-handedly destroyed the most evil man who ever lived—Joseph Raymond McCarthy, right? And along with Joe McCarthy (whom biographer Thomas Reeves went so far as to call “our King John”), Murrow is said to have wiped out that horrendous “ism” that McCarthy engendered, although, sad to say, it rears its noxious head occasionally—like whenever anybody has the poor judgment to notice a communist. It is impossible to go five years without the media complex finding some way to resurrect this legend and re-teach it to the masses, so that even though most of today’s citizens cannot recall Joe McCarthy, he looms in our national psyche like a political version of Keyser Soze from the film The Usual Suspects. To paraphrase Kevin Spacey from that film, McCarthy is now “a spook story CBS tells us kids at night.”

Yikes! Peter Boyle portrayed McCarthy as a cross between Young Frankenstein and Godzilla! Definitely NOT an evening's best bet!

Yikes! Peter Boyle portrayed McCarthy as a cross between Young Frankenstein and Godzilla…definitely NOT an evening’s best bet!

Films like Goodnight and Good Luck add to the mythic significance (while misleading the audience with near hysteric alacrity about, among other things, the Annie Lee Moss case), as do made-for-TV “docudramas” like NBC’s ridiculously fact-challenged Tail Gunner Joe. But what Murrow really deserves credit for is pioneering “bag job” journalism, in which a story is twisted in an overtly propagandistic way to make its subject look especially horrible. Murrow’s carefully and maliciously edited slam job was so egregiously slanted in order to portray McCarthy as demonic that even Joe’s harshest critic, John Cogley of Commonweal, rose to the Senator’s defense, pointing out that ”A totally different selection of film would turn Senator McCarthy into a man on a shining white steed.” Thus it was Cogley who first warned of the amazing power of televised coverage to function as an engine of malignant distortion in the hands of unprincipled broadcasters. Contrary to CBS legend, the blast from Murrow did not end Joe’s career, and his poll numbers remained high—but the “See It Now” broadcast paved the way for his destruction by the Left, with a decisive assist from the Eisenhower administration. (Do you doubt this readers? Grab a copy of William Bragg Ewald’s Who Killed Joe McCarthy for edification!)

The Army/McCarthy hearings, orchestrated by Eisenhower, were more damaging to Joe's status than Murrow's program. Here, Joe enters the hearings and Army attorney Joseph Welch is smitten with one of those anti-anti-communist migraines.

The televised Army/McCarthy hearings, orchestrated by Eisenhower, were more damaging to Joe’s status than Murrow’s program. Here, Joe enters the hearings and Army attorney Joseph Welch is smitten with one of those pesky anti-anti-communist migraines.

But Murrow’s vainglorious posturing (and the equally preposterous pretense that he was virtually taking his life in his hands by broadcasting “truth to power” on his little ol’ national network news show) inscribed the template for the journalism of destruction that became a loaded weapon in the hands of the leftwing media establishment. How do you manage to feel and appear brave?  Take on seethingly demonic powers like McCarthy, or Goldwater, Reagan, or “W” Bush—guys who, in fact, can be criticized with near impunity and to wild applause from the Left—but pretend you are on a virtual suicide mission in so doing while your colleagues play along and ooh and ahhh at your boldness! And how do you manifest gravitas? Just arrange to ooze pietistic indignation while you’re at it—like Mike Wallace or Dan Rather or Keith Olbermann (who took the formula to psychedelic extremes).  Somewhere, through billowing effusions of cigarette smoke, Edward R. Murrow will be smiling–wanly, of course– but smiling nonetheless.

The Camelot Illusion

Chet Huntley and David Brinkley led the news ratings in the Kennedy epoch.

Chet Huntley and David Brinkley led the news ratings in the Kennedy epoch.

Dave Garroway left the Today program in 1961, and John Kennedy became president. The same media machine that covered up FDR’s polio and would one day cover up Obama’s treasonable misconduct and embarrassingly un-American past, went to work pretending not to notice JFK’s philandering. But even then there was no hint of the left-slanted news coverage we experience today. Why, Huntley and Brinkley on NBC were famously Republican and Democrat, and led the ratings. Walter Cronkite at CBS was yet to identify himself as a full-blown progressive. He was, instead, on his way to being voted “most trusted man in America.”  And at ABC Ron Cochran was inoffensive enough to be almost totally forgotten. Sorry Ron.

Cronkite stifled a tear as he reported JFK's death--and a nation in shock believed they saw their favorite uncle in his visage.

Cronkite stifled a tear as he reported JFK’s death–and a nation in shock believed they saw their favorite uncle in his visage.

When shots rang out in Dealey Plaza on a sunny afternoon in Dallas, and the country was plunged without notice into the lumbering socialist experiment that was Lyndon Johnson’s “Great Society,” Cronkite was the man to whom the nation turned, and with whom the nation communed during its unprecedented trauma. In times of unbridled distress it is tempting to grasp at straws—and no less so at straw men. We idealized and apotheosized Cronkite—the avuncular national media figure who emerged from that ordeal “the most trusted man in America” and made egregious use of that trust on many counts before he shambled off finally to rave radically from the cultural sidelines.

Morley and Dan and Vietnam!

Morely on the trail of those pyromaniac Leathernecks!

Morely on the trail of those pyromaniac Leathernecks!

Few Americans would believe that Vietnam coverage began with a giddy Walter Cronkite in a helmet and visor, riding backseat on a fighter-bomber mission, yelling “Yahoo! We really got ‘em!” as the two-seater plane’s payload shattered the jungle. Always unintelligent before he was anything else, Cronkite had not yet bought into
(or been much identified with) what would become his legendary iconicism. (But at least he had guts.) Morley Safer of CBS may have kicked Vietnam coverage leftwards with his famous Zippo lighter story in 1965. Morely attached himself to a platoon of Marines who were entering a VC-sympathetic village from which Americans had been receiving hostile fire for days. On this occasion, as ordered, the Marines evacuated the villagers from their huts and set fire to the structures to eliminate weapons caches, tunnel entrances, and covert firing positions. They also did it to firmly impress upon the villagers that enough was enough. Morley had his camera man record the burning of the huts whilst he sermonized liberally, shall we say, about the brutality of it all—and to Americans eating Swanson TV dinners while watching the evening news that August 5th it might as well have been the Japanese rape of Nanking!

Dan the Man in Vietnam! Here, Rather interviews a 175 mm artillery piece.

Dan the Man in Vietnam! Here, Rather interviews a 175 mm artillery piece.

Many Americans believed the military was what they saw on Gomer Pyle, USMC, or at its most brutal, perhaps, like ABC’s Combat! The “Zippo jobs” appeared shocking and brutal. Vic Morrow would never do anything like that on Combat! And Safer made sure to get footage of an old Vietnamese man weeping as his hovel was torched, making equally sure to omit any mention of the fact the village was thoroughly infiltrated by and sympathetic to the Communist guerrillas, or that Marines had been killed in the village, or that vast numbers of booby traps, trenches, tunnels, and munitions stores were discovered in and around the village. The Marines’ after-action report states that 50 structures were reduced—Safer gave the figure as 150. He carefully created an impression of sadistic American soldiers wantonly depriving peaceful villagers of their homes for the hell of it—making no mention of the fact that burning places of suspected enemy refuge was as old as war itself, and that he happened to be traveling with the only military force in history that evacuated the premises first! Back in Washington DC, President Johnson flipped out, but was sandbagged by the inchoately obdurate CBS news bureaucracy. Furious, LBJ ordered the FBI to investigate Safer. “He’s a communist!” Johnson thundered at his staff. But the FBI report stated that Safer was not a communist, he was a Canadian. “Well,”  Johnson spat, “I knew he couldn’t be an American!” (Even LBJ had his moments!)

Another boy from Vietnam who bears mention is that redoubtable newshound, Dan Rather, who also reported abusively from the front, such as it was, clad in sporty bush jackets or shirts with epaulets. Rather never objects, by the way, to being described as or posturing as a former Marine, but that’s balderdash. He flunked boot camp and dropped out. Perhaps this drove him to harangue the guys who didn’t drop out, as he did habitually and in gravely censorious tones (think Ed Murrow!) during his “tour of duty” back in 1966.

The wall within…

cover-Time-19800225-46900But Rather’s greatest moment, his real chef d’oeuvre came long after he’d stepped off the plane home from Southeast Asia, and long before he went into a stoic trance, nightly repeating his certitude that his odiferously-fake George W. Bush memoranda were “unimpeachable.” Yes, Rather’s work on the infamous broadcast, The Wall Within not only typified, but probably epitomized his career as a serially slanderous Pecksniff.  Indeed, the most notable aspect of Wall Within is not that it was a widely and wildly praised documentary that won many plaudits for Rather and his supposedly exhaustive research and gritty reportage—no, the more interesting datum is that  it was just a template, really, to which Rather repaired repeatedly throughout his career.

No matter how depraved or crazed you were, you had a friend in Dan!

No matter how depraved or crazed you were, you had a friend in Dan!

Few, mercifully, now recall CBS Reports: The Wall Within, which aired on June 2, 1988. But WOOF remembers it. Viewers were treated to far greater tales of horror than Zippo lighters could ever provide (eat your heart out Morley Safer)—they were treated to the stark, violently psychotic remembrances of Vietnam vets who had waded through a nightmarish hellscape in Southeast Asia, only to return crazed and dissociated–haunted men, unappreciated by their government, and forgotten by everyone else—everyone but Dan Rather, of course, who was willing to commune with them in studiedly hushed tones, allowing them finally to seek peace in the catharsis of televised confession.

Former Navy SEAL Steve Southards spoke dramatically of his time in “Nam,” spent on secret missions killing untold hundreds of Vietnamese civilians and then tricking up the scenes of slaughter to give the impression that the VC had perpetrated the atrocities. Dan, who had obviously been studying Mike Wallace’s patented “You mean to tell me—“ kinesics, tried his own adaptation, edging closer to Southard and rasping, “You’re telling me that you went into the villages and killed, burned parts of the villages, and then made it appear that the other side had done this?” (This is where Wallace would bug out his eyes and arch his brows, but Rather’s face doesn’t work that way). Anyhow, “Yes!” Steve Southard nodded vigorously, adding in a menacing rasp, “…and I was good at what I did!”

And he "was good at it!"

“And I was good at what I did!”

Rather’s next case was George Grule, who spent his war on the aircraft carrier Ticonderoga, cruising the waters off of Vietnam “on a secret mission” and who described himself as suicidal as a direct result of watching his best friend walk deliberately into the spinning propeller of an AD-6 Skyraider which (of course) pulverized him, spraying his innards all over the helplessly watching Grule. As a result, Grule (like Southard) was unable to return to civil society and lived the life of a mentally tortured recluse. Even aboard ship, the horror of Vietnam took its cruel toll!

Skinned alive!

images pitt 2

We couldn’t find a pic of Bradley, but Brad Pitt’s better looking, and you get the idea, right?

But the show stopper—Dan’s piece de resistance, was the story told by Terry Bradley who spoke at length and in lurid detail about skinning Vietnamese civilians and suspected guerillas, alive. Terry told a stoically composed but compassionately nodding Rather that he had once skinned 50 screaming Vietnamese men, women, and boys, and stacked their bodies like cord wood, all in the space of an hour.  (One thinks here—or at least we do—of Mark Twain’s hilarious essay on “Cooper Indians” wherein the ridiculousness of behaviors ascribed to Indians portrayed in James Fennimore Cooper’s novels is made manifest by careful consideration) “You stack up every way a body could be mangled—an arm, a tit, an eyeball…imagine us over there for a year doing this intensely!” Yes, quite! A lesser man might have been at a loss for words, but not Dan. He looked squarely at Bradley and gently drawled, “you’ve got to be angry about it!”

But nobody was as angry as the Veterans Administration and researcher B. G. Burkett, himself a Vietnam vet. Neither the VA nor Burkett had to do very much digging to realize that Rather’s entire report was less “Wall Within” and more wall-to-wall bull scat. Southards, for instance, the SEAL who mass murdered civilians for the CIA, never actually served in combat. He turned out to have been an equipment repairman stationed safely in the secure rear. Poor George Gruel whose best buddy snapped during a secret mission and hugged a spinning airplane propeller, was never on a secret mission. While a crewman did in fact walk into a propeller (accidentally) during Gruel’s time aboard the Ticonderoga. Gruel had not been on deck to witness the incident, which in any case  occurred off the coast of California, where the carrier did most of her cruising when Gruel was aboard …not during a “secret mission” to Vietnam.

The good ship Ticonderoga--she recovered the crew of Apollo 16 after splashdown, but secret missions off the coast of Vietnam? C'mon, Dan!

The good ship Ticonderoga–she recovered the crew of Apollo 16 after splashdown, but secret missions off the coast of Vietnam? C’mon, Dan!

And what about Terry Bradley, so talented that he could skin 50 wiggling, screaming human beings in 60 minutes and live to tell Dan Rather about it? Well, Terry never saw combat either. In fact, he hardly ever saw the depot where he was supposed to be an ammo handler for the 25th Infantry division because he spent a year of his hitch in the stockade for repeatedly going AWOL. As Anne Morse of the National Review noted years ago, after reporting on Rather’s little exercise in carnographic fiction—all of these vets were easily checkable through a variety of sources. The special operations community is tiny in contrast to the rest of the military establishment, and it was tinier still in Vietnam. Checking to see who had endured basic underwater demolition/SEAL training in a class with Southard would have been simple—and the answer would have been: nobody!

A bright and shining liar…

CBS News President Howard Stringer--picture does not show his pants, which were on fire.

CBS News President Howard Stringer–picture does not show his pants, which were on fire at the time.

Why did Rather simply ignore his responsibility to get his story straight before broadcasting it into millions of American homes? It is too simple to shrug and tell ourselves, well, he’s stupid. That’s only half the story—the other half is, he’s duplicitous. For decades he disguised duplicity as a dutiful, noble thing. He made of it, to borrow John Paul Vann’s unforgettable phrase, a bright and shining lie. But he got caught. It didn’t matter to Dan or his network when The Wall Within was exposed– not at all. Because nobody would report that Rather had been caught—but by 2004 the rules had changed, and Dan hadn’t noticed—that’s the stupid part! Back in the 80’s, Rather refused to comment after his falsifications were exposed, and he had nothing to say either about the scary statistics he’d invented for rates of suicide, homelessness, and mental disturbances among returning Vietnam vets, all bogus. But CBS president Howard Stringer wasn’t struck dumb. When asked why the entire presentation, stem to stern, had been wholesale malarkey, he shrugged and handed out a response that could only have sufficed in a three-network era of monopolized newscasting. “Your criticisms,” he harrumphed, “were not shared by a vast majority of our viewers. CBS News and its affiliates received acclaim from most quarters . . . In sum, this was a broadcast of which we at CBS News and I personally am [sic] proud. There are no apologies to make.” Right! And you know, every word of that statement is true, until you get to the no-apologies-to-make part. Liberals always applaud and reward themselves for their flapdoodle. It’s tradition. And by the time the war in Vietnam concluded, it was solidly entrenched.

How Uncle Walter Ended the War!

Cronkite back in Vietnam, no longer yelling yahoo.

Cronkite back in Vietnam, no longer yelling yahoo.

If Nobel Prizes went to the deserving, Walter Cronkite would have won one for ending the war in Vietnam. Well, he actually threw it, more than ended it, but as his personal relations with LBJ soured for various reasons, Cronkite became ardently critical of U.S. involvement. Now widely hailed as the “most trusted man in America,” Uncle Walter had his way at CBS. Night after night he busied himself shaping the news to the Left, spiking stories that contradicted his favorite talking points, and advancing what by now was a full-blown left wing agenda. Cronkite, more than any other individual in this axial period of media coverage set the standard for what would become the Liberal newscast—carefully crafted propaganda sold to the viewer with an air of avuncular sincerity. He was infinitely better at it than today’s vapid assemblage, and the Tet Offensive in 1968 made his day.

Tet resulted in the destruction of the Viet Cong as a viable force, but it looked bad on film, so the News decided it was Waterloo.

Tet resulted in the destruction of the Viet Cong as a viable force, but it looked bad on film, so the News decided it was Waterloo.

The Tet Offensive produced shock and awe in South Vietnam, combining surprise with the concerted effort to bring violent warfare to the most secure and pacified areas of the country. During an agreed upon cease fire in honor of the Tet New Year, (because it only seemed the civil thing to do, after all) the communists hurled 80,000 troops into 100 towns and cities. The surprise was total, and the impression was that America, despite all its claims, had no control of the situation even in its own rear areas. The offensive was the largest military operation conducted by either side up to that point in the war, partially because Robert McNamara’s moronic policies precluded any American offensives against the North. Even so, Tet was a mammoth failure for the communists. Hanoi underestimated the mobility of the American and South Vietnamese response. The general uprising the North had expected to inspire in the South did not materialize. The poor tactics inherent in attacking so many objectives thinly rather than a few objectives in force led to the communist forces being stopped, isolated, and destroyed piecemeal. Communist General Tran Van Tra admitted, “We did not correctly evaluate the specific balance of forces between ourselves and the enemy, did not fully realize that the enemy still had considerable capabilities, and that our capabilities were limited, and set requirements that were beyond our actual strength.” Oops. Sorry about that, Tran—in fact, the immediate result of Tet was the complete destruction of the Viet Cong infrastructure, but the Reds soon became aware of a different sort of victory—one they admitted later they had never predicted or expected.

imageswcEnter Walter Cronkite, who knew about as much about the science of war as he did about Sumerian pronounal declensions. Walter looked America right in the eyeballs, shook his jowls poignantly, and told us, “we are mired in a stalemate that could only be ended by negotiation, not victory.” Shortly thereafter support for the war dropped from 74 to 54 percent, and continued to erode. The communists in Saigon had been handed a miracle—the total destruction of 80,000 Viet Cong was transformed into an American defeat in Vietnam by trusty Uncle Walter, who later huffed that his newscasts had ended the war. They didn’t, of course, any more than Murrow’s kvetching ended McCarthyism, but they may well have shaped the course that led to our discomfiture and the wanton slaughter of 75,000 of our former allies in the South.

Turns out LBJ bugged Goldwater in more ways than one!

Turns out LBJ bugged Goldwater in more ways than one!

Richard Nixon, for all his flaws, nearly won a just and lasting peace in Southeast Asia by battering the North with B-52 strikes (attacking the enemy’s homeland? Imagine!) and briefly invading Cambodia to wipe out communist supplies and reserve forces. His truce with the North might have held had he himself not been victimized by American journalists bent on removing him from office, and forced to resign. The great sin of Watergate, the offense for which Nixon was savaged by Washington Post reporters Woodward and Bernstein, was that the president’s men, led by the G. Gordon Liddy, had bungled a break-in at the Watergate hotel intended to “bug” the Democratic headquarters during an election year—just as LBJ had bugged Goldwater’s headquarters in 1964. Much, in fact–although nobody discusses this– the way Walter Cronkite bugged the GOP convention in 1952—WOOF is not making this up!

Nor shall we make up an iota of the next thrilling episode of WOOF’s hard-hitting critique of electronic journalism in the age of media-ocrity, Woofketeers! Every word will be true, (or we couldn’t say it on the Internet!) Don’t miss installment three, “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?” coming soon!

images she-ra

___________________________________________________________________

WHY ALL THE NEWS IS BAD! (Part One)

In "The Media are the Massage" forum on August 12, 2013 at 4:18 pm

14166914-front-view-of-one-vintage-tv-with-text-news-on-screen-3d-render What do WOOF and Marshall McLuhan have in common? Why, we both spend a lot of time thinking about media, of course. Well, okay, not McLuhan so much anymore, he being dead and all, but we still do. And we would like to share these thoughts with you—but they are, as you might have supposed, agonizingly lengthy—so we decided to share them in portions. These will come in the form of “white paper” reports and will roll in from time to time, under the rubric A WOOF WHITE PAPER REPORT, because that will make them sound important. They will be serialized as installments of “Why All the News is Bad,” and focus on why the American news media today are so hopelessly moronic, yet simultaneously, and dedicatedly, seditious. This will require a bit of a romp through recent history—but let’s begin with some even more recent history, just to make an exordial point.

McLuhan explained media to the world (or "global village") in the '60s, but Breitbart understood it with greater concison: "It's the enemy!"

Marshall McLuhan may have explained media to the world (or “global village”) in the ’60s, but Breitbart understood it with greater concision: “It’s the enemy!”

With Michele in New Hampshire

Bachmann, on the occasion of issuing the faux pas heard 'round the networks, round the news cycle, again, and again, and again....

Bachmann, on the occasion of issuing the faux pas heard ’round the networks, round the news cycle, again, and again, and again….

Remember when the beautiful and talented Michele Bachmann was running for the Republican nomination in 2011—and she committed that horrendous gaffe? No? If you ransack your memory you may recall that while speaking in New Hampshire, Congresswoman Bachmann told an assemblage of citizens that,”You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world at Lexington and Concord.”  Well, not exactly, right? Because the “shot heard ‘round the world” was fired in Massachusetts. (This would be impossible nowadays, of course, because nobody in Massachusetts could own a musket, but we digress.) The point is, the major networks plus CNN and MSNBC jabbered for a complete news cycle about the manifest ineligibility of any Republican female so dunderheaded as to publicly commit so horrendous a blooper! The viewers of this blood frenzy– given that they presumably had mush for brains to begin with as evidenced by their viewing preferences– came away believing that Bachmann was only slightly less ding-batty than Edith Bunker, and a thousandfold more dangerous, because she sought her party’s nomination despite demonstrating such appalling stupidity.  And why are we reviewing this lapsus linguae on the part of the brilliant and beauteous Bachmann? For contrast, dear readers, for contrast! And thus we depart the sublime subject of the congresswoman from Minnesota and trudge into the vastly less enticing but equally necessary realm of Obama’s treatment by these self-same media outlets…let’s restrict ourselves for brevity’s sake to a single instance, however! (Those seeking further instances of presidential folly should click here!)

And now, herrrrrrre’s Barry!

imagesb2

On the night of August 6th, President Barack Obama, our beloved helmsman, appeared in one of his favorite news formats—an entertainment broadcast. He took a seat adjacent Jay Leno on NBC’s Tonight show and did so despite the fact that guests on the Tonight program are not permitted the use of teleprompters—they are, in fact, expected to speak extemporaneously. One might wonder what the president’s handlers were thinking given his established record of waxing incoherent when not reading from the aforementioned device; but why should they have fretted? A virtual avalanche of presidential ludicrosities emanated, as anyone might have predicted, from the president’s ungoverned lips, but the networks seemed oblivious of them—Shall we review? When asked about Benghazi, the president hastily elided into a separate issue, assuring Leno’s audience that, “the odds of people dying in a terrorist attack obviously are still a lot lower than in a car accident,” and then inexplicably adding, “Unfortunately.” But no anchor person at any Liberal Media outlet raised an eyebrow over this baffling adverbial choice–not a one!

Sorry, Vlad! Seventeen years in the KGB and you came out a bottle-cap colonel!

Sorry, Vlad! Seventeen years in the KGB and you came out a bottle-cap colonel!

Next, in an effort to explain Vladimir Putin’s “cold war mentality,” Obama pointed out that the Russian president had, after all, “headed up the KGB.” But this is baloney. Putin was in the foreign intelligence branch of that dastardly organization, but never made it higher than Lieutenant Colonel.  Attending intelligence briefings might have helped clarify this for Barack, but might also have resulted in a missed golf game or two, one supposes. The difference between the summer and winter Olympics also befuddled the leader of the Free World. In lecturing the Russians (in case they were watching Leno, one gathers) on how to run their sports contests in a manner fair to homosexual athletes, the Bamster made recommendations regarding numerous summer games, apparently unaware that the Moscow games will be held in winter.  And then, most embarrassingly, the topic of geography was broached. This is always an unsafe area for the man who thinks we have 58 states and believes that Austrians speak Austrian, but the president held forth bravely, declaring that the Panama Canal was being widened, so we should do likewise because “If we don’t deepen our ports all along the Gulf — places like Charleston, South Carolina, or Savannah, Georgia, or Jacksonville, Florida — if we don’t do that, those ships are going to go someplace else.” Obviously, gentle readers, Charleston, Savannah, and Jacksonville are not Gulf ports. The president seemed to have mislaid the Atlantic Ocean. Additionally, the Panama Canal is in fact being widened, but the president could not have meant that the Gulf of Mexico should be widened, could he? The difference between increased depth and increased width eluded him in this regard—but enough of all this! The point is, none of the Liberal Media Establishment touched on any of these gaffes, except, to be fair, the Associated Press, which dutifully doctored the Gulf quote by adding language unspoken by Obama, so that he wouldn’t look like a total nincompoop. (They got caught, however, and looked like total nincompoops, finally issuing a predictably petulant apology in fine print.)

Seen an anti-communist comic book lately? Nahhh---the superheros are all fighting big corporations!

Seen an anti-communist comic book lately? Nahhh—the superheros are all fighting big corporations! (But we digress.)

Look, the president appoints known communists like Van Jones, Valerie Jarrett, Cass Sunstein, and David Axelrod (to name a handful) to vital positions within his government, sets up Americans for execution via his domestic drone program, vanishes from duty during an eight-hour battle in Benghazi that burns down his consulate and kills his ambassador, and sets about unilaterally disarming the United States of America while Iran and North Korea are developing ICBMs. He blatantly and routinely lies about anything that seems convenient to lie about, from his health care policy to the economy to his energy program to the daft idea that he shoots skeet “all the time,” and the press cannot bring itself to carefully examine an  iota of this—in fact, it attacks anybody who does—Yet when the President takes Tiger Woods golfing without allowing the press to traipse along lovingly in his footsteps, they howl like jilted lovers, agonizing for the first (and almost certainly the last) time ever over the shocking lack of transparency in the Obama Administration. Are they insane? Were they always like this? Why do we put up with these dolts? Well, that is what these white papers will concern themselves with! Beloved readers, WOOF realizes that many of you are young and cannot fathom a time when television was not crammed with blathering liberals trashing everything and everyone you believe in while waxing orgasmic over every left-of-center cause or radical jackanapes that appears on the scene. Some of you, on the other hand, recall a day long ago in which it was possible to watch the evening news without having to deprogram yourself afterwards– to cleanse your weary brain of the harmful effects of no-holds-barred left-wing propagandizing.

“Yes, and it’s all true, too!”

High on WOOF's out-of-print summer reading list:   Logan Robinson's romp through soviet Russia!

High on WOOF’s out-of-print summer reading list: Logan Robinson’s romp through Soviet Russia!

Back in the ‘80s an American law student named Logan Robinson published an absolutely hilarious bit of travel literature entitled “An American in Leningrad,” Robinson having been an exchange student in the Soviet Union during the Brezhnev era. Robinson describes a scene in which he watched a rehearsal for a major speech by Brezhnev in Red Square.  The Soviet Army positioned several rows of soldiers directly behind the Russian Premiere’s podium. Their task was to shout in manly unison, “Yes, and it’s all true, too!” every time Brezhnev asserted a point. Nowadays it is almost impossible to watch the procession of painstakingly coiffured, elegantly attired media mouthpieces spouting exactly identical talking points in the wake of each new Obama-era travesty without bethinking oneself of the that Soviet Army chorus, greeting each of Brezhnev’s prevarications with a shouted reminder of, “Yes, and it’s all true, too,” just in case the masses harbored any doubts. This is precisely the function that the American televised media now serve. It is also descriptive of the vast majority of print media and the Entertainment Industry, but for the sake of brevity we will focus in this particular screed on the TV propagandists who haunt our small screens. Was it always like this? Was it ever this bad in the ‘old days’? Actually, no. It was always in a condition of becoming this way, and it was often nearly this bad—but we are now in an era of absolute, wall to wall, collectivist agitprop, and in order to best understand where we are, it is essential to first examine where we started!

Elvis was a good thing, by the way; the "Hit Parade" was a snore fest!

Elvis was a good thing, by the way; the “Hit Parade” was a snore fest!

As moviegoers who recall the scene from “Contact” are aware, the first ever TV broadcast was propagandistic in nature, starring, as it did, Hitler—making a speech at the 1936 Olympic Games in Berlin. But if he was the first socialist totalitarian to turn the medium to his purpose, he was in no respect the last. In America, following World War II, television began to take hold and grew into a house-to-house phenomenon by the early ‘50s. Americans huddled in front of the flickering shades of grey on their cathode-ray-lit sets yukking it up with “Uncle Milty” or glued to the fights on the “Gillette Cavalcade of Sports,” or getting hep to Patti Page and Snooky Lanson on “Your Hit Parade” before the name Elvis was abroad in the land. And verily, one could watch all the entertainment programming of that era without any fear of being brainwashed by Communists. Brain deadened, perhaps, by cultural pabulum, but washed?—no! And the first newscasts of the day were pretty dull—just recitations of the day’s notable events, (imagine that!) plus sports scores and weather forecasts, all without the benefit of visual aids apart from the weather map and usually emanating from some carefully enunciated gent with a collection of clocks behind him on a soundproofed studio wall with a massive mike in his face bearing the network logo of ABC, CBS, or NBC. Once upon time, young Americans, those were our only choices!  Call it an age of innocence if you like, but whether or not it was too good to last, it certainly didn’t!

index

Genial Uncle Dave

"Peace!" (It is a sad commentary that NBC's "Today" show was at its best when co-hosted by a chimp!)

“Peace!” (It is a sad commentary that NBC’s “Today” show was at its best when co-hosted by a chimp!)

It will shock the young to discover that once a man named Dave Garroway hosted the NBC Today program, his main assistant a chimpanzee named J. Fred Muggs, but it is true—and equally true that since Dave Garroway left the Today program, it has not been worth looking at. In fact, a quick viewing of Matt Laur and team will suffice to persuade the unbiased observer that Today had more dignity and gravitas when it was co-hosted by a chimpanzee than it possesses nowadays. Dave Garroway finished last in his class at NBC Announcer’s school, and it showed. Instead of sounding like some stentorian stuffed shirt, he came across cool and casual—communicative and human. Heck, J. Fred Muggs seemed more human than the average network announcer of that era. In the ‘70s, this formula for early morning news programming was called “cope,” but when Garroway introduced it, the critics called it terrible and unprofessional, except for TV critic Richard F. Shepard who differed, writing, “He is pleasant, serious, scholarly…and not obtrusively convivial.”

imagesdaveg

Dave Garroway–big on clocks, bow ties, and keeping cool.

Garroway knew TV was a “cool medium” before communications guru Marshall McLuhan so dubbed it—and he made it work wonderfully. He also closed each show with his palm raised in the cliché Indian “how!” position. These days, white liberals who never met an Indian would call it an insult to “Native Americans” (which presumably means all of us) and make short work of such insensitivity! In those days, hand aloft, Dave always intoned the single syllable, “Peace!” But he was just as relaxed and natural doing a remote from an airborne B-52 on a practice bombing run—and if he had a political; slant, he only told J. Fred Muggs.  So was the Garroway persona widely emulated by up-and-coming TV reporters in 1952? Sadly, no—at least not for long. Because by 1953 a greater call to glory had been sounded, and by most perceptions (at least in New York), a great evil thereby disposed of—and about this we shall say more next time, when WOOF White Papers presents: Confronting the great evil! (Don’t miss it!)

to be continued

________________________________________________________________________

BREAD AND CIRCUSES–HOLD THE BREAD! How the Media will fill Recovery Summer #5 with enough hocus pocus to keep Obama in soft focus!

In "The Media are the Massage" forum on June 2, 2013 at 9:26 pm

side show

Summer distractions are going to be bigger and better than ever this year, and we’re already off to a stellar beginning thanks to the Liberal News Media’s anxiety-ridden search for anything Americans can be made to pay attention to other than the totalitarian takeover of our body politic by the most ruthless, mendacious and ego-maniacal President in our nation’s history and his merry band of Marxist functionaries whose mission is to subvert the constitution by any means at their disposal whilst our Beloved Leader scratches his head, and pretends utter bewilderment that such chicanery is afoot. Take the former IRS Commissioner Douglas Shulman, whose tireless efforts to keep the president entirely ignorant of his agency’s metamorphosis into a voter-suppression syndicate and a vile utensil of Leftist coercion and harassment spreading terror among Tea Party groups as well as Christian and Jewish organizations, clearly required an abundance of bureaucratic deceptiveness. No other world leader in history, with the possible exception of King John, has ever been so doggedly attended by his tax collector…and one can only shudder in consideration of what fiendish dissembling may have deluded our young president into presuming all to be well throughout his realm!  In fact, we now learn, Mr. Shulman visited the White House 157 times, which is considerably more than any adviser or cabinet member on the Presidential staff! Obviously keeping the President in the dark about the nefarious exploits of the Internal Revenue Service is a labor-intensive commitment! Well, nobody can fault Mr. Shulman’s dedication, even as we at WOOF persist in marveling at his resemblance to the human constituent of “Wallace and Gromit.”

Shulman and Wallace--just sayin'

Shulman and his above-mentioned doppelganger, Wallace–both sporting feet of clay?

___________________________________________________________________

But summer turns our thoughts—to the extent that the televised and printed media still possess the power to steer them into summery latitudes—to less complex and detail-ridden matters—such as murder!  Not to be insensitive or anything, but everybody loves a good murder and the all-news cable channels are always happy to inflate tales of treachery, tawdriness and homicide into national fixations, the better to advance their ratings. That’s okay—that’s free enterprise, although WOOF privately suspects that plenty of important and culturally vicissitudinous murders happen around us fairly often and never elicit a mumble from the Fourth Estate; but we are, admittedly, considered paranoid by many experts. That said, the only murders that seem to make national headlines are the kind with sex and blondes in them, with allowances made for the occasional comely brunette. But until recently these exploitative spasms occurred in a catch-as-catch-can fashion, coming along when they came along. This week, however, the standards of intrigue have been lowered, somewhat, because like we said earlier, the media are desperately seeking distractions, and anything is better than nothing in the crimes-of-passion department, or it so it lately seems.

Case in point: Somewhere in the wilds of Orono, Maine, a guy fell in love with his pretty teenage neighbor, but she spurned his advances. Undaunted, the young man decided to set up a phony Facebook account, use it to befriend the girl and entice her out of her home, stage her kidnapping, hide her in the woods, and then go back and pretend to find her, thus rescuing her (from himself, get it?) and becoming her hero. Foolproof, right? And to assure himself of a broad consensus, the young man told his brother all about the plan, and told his actual girlfriend, too. He then proceeded to lure the unfortunate miss out of her home, and abduct her as planned. He cleverly wore a ski mask to avoid being recognized, and duct-taped the young lady head to toe, tossing her in the back of his pick up truck. Unfortunately, in his haste,  the young man forgot that people need to breathe, and duct-taped the young lady’s mouth and nose, so that she was dead by the time he sought to retrieve her. His plan thus frustrated, the young man dumped the young lady’s body in the woods and went home.

kyle and victim

Kyle Dube, kidnapper and rescuer-manque, and accidental homicide victim, Nichole Cable

Our gentle readers will not be surprised to learn that the young man was subsequently apprehended—recently enough, in fact, that his alleged crimes must be deemed alleged (even though he obviously committed them). But what was surprising is the amount of media attention this story received over the next several days, including the so called “major networks,” which treated this grim incident as though it were the crime of the century—and why?  Well, not because it was a slow news week! No, because nowadays a hot news week is when the distractions must be trotted out, because the more time spent reporting the imbecilic actions of the accidental murderer from Orono, the less time need be devoted to the Holder debacle, the IRS debacle, the AP-emails fiasco or the Benghazi travesty. But this augurs well for followers of true crime reportage, because if this local tragedy was seen by the networks as meriting the levels of coverage heaped upon it, imagine what kind of wall-to-wall devotion will be accorded any authentically intriguing homicides that may arise over the next few months? This summer could easily prove a murder-packed crime fest on cable news!

AP photo of Penobscot County Sheriff Glenn Ross finding himself at a major full-coverage press conference in Bangor, Maine—guess they don’t hold press conferences in Orono.

AP photo of Penobscot County Sheriff Glenn Ross finding himself at a major full-coverage press conference in Bangor, Maine—guess they don’t hold press conferences in Orono.

___________________________________________________________________

It’s the Great Terrorist, Charlie Brown!

If you were a DNC strategist charged with pulling the spotlight away from All the President’s Mensheviks, what would you come up with? We thought about it and decided we’d come up with a way to persuade John McCain to involve himself in a high-profile junket to the Middle East, peddled to the press as a super secret mission to Syria—maybe even a “secret” meeting with Syrian rebels, secret meaning in this instance a video-taped event released immediately to the media. This would be simple to accomplish—one would only require to have a few doyens of the inside-the-beltway media convince McCain that they loved him again, and tell him what a coups he would score evincing such bravado juxtaposed to Obama’s limp-wristed response to the crisis. What crisis?

That’s right, McCain failed to notice that those few and flimsy signs of indignation visible after Obama ducked out on his original pledge to take action if the Assad regime used chemical weapons against its own people—which it then proceeded to do–had been shunted aside by subsequent events and the ever-protective news media, so his surprise visit performed the main function of providing…distraction!  …Just Charlie Brown taking another run at the football with Obama’s media playing Lucy.

Charlie Brown

But if we were advising the Left on how to take even greater advantage of McCain’s visit, even turning it inside out so as to play McCain for a fool and lend credence to the President’s inaction, what else would we do? Why, of course; we would wait for him to get over there and publicize a few of his “secret” meetings and then we would leak to the press that the big dope was meeting with notorious kidnappers from the terrorist Northern Storm movement—men who had only recently kidnapped and slaughtered a busload of innocent Shi’ite pilgrims.  NOW we have a really first class distraction—Charlie Brown gets the football jerked away from him and then Lucy kicks him in the butt! Film at eleven, as they used to say. And McCain’s denial that he met or was photographed with terrorist honcho Mohammad Nour consisted of insisting that none of the people with whom he posed for photos had “identified themselves as Mohammed Nour,” which is one of those gob-smacking idiotisms for which the McCain camp is justly famous. To be fair, McCain spokesman Brian Rogers ultimately composed a perfectly reasonable response to the effect that, “a number of the Syrians who greeted Senator McCain upon his arrival in Syria asked to take pictures with him, and as always, the senator complied. If the individual photographed with Senator McCain is in fact Mohammad Nour, that is regrettable.”  A nicely argued point, to be sure, but a point lost in the distractive howlings of  the ostensibly indignant, since by that time the Shi’ite had hit the fan.

John McCain making new friends among the grass roots.

John McCain making new friends –some of whom may be “regrettable.” 

_____________________________________________________________________

Of asteroids and lizards on Mars

The headline at Yahoo News reads: “Look now! An asteroid is about to hurl near earth!” This confirms WOOF’s longstanding suspicion that chimps write the headlines at Yahoo—and of course the asteroid is not going to hurl—Yahoo appears to have been attempting to say “hurdle.” Anyway, by the time you read this, earth will have weathered any threat of destruction posed by Asteroid 1998QE2—but for days it has been big news even though it is universally agreed that it is not going to hit us. The 1.7 mile wide space rock is scheduled to pass by Earth Friday afternoon, May 31, buzzing our rooftops at a mere 3.6 million miles of distance, and this is as close as it gets for the next 200 years–

QE2 whizzes by Earth--hope it doesn't hurl!

QE2 whizzes by Earth–hope it doesn’t hurl!

So– why all the ranting in the press? Distraction—from outer space!  This is why you have been watching televised reports about the species-terminating cataclysm that would result from impact—reminding us that not only Asteroid 1998QE2 but indeed any asteroid wider than 0.6 miles, could wipe out human civilization if it hit us. Being missed by asteroids appears equally newsworthy these days, however, thus you may also have read or viewed “background” reports that the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs was about 6 miles wide, but hey, that was a while ago, wasn’t it? And the whole asteroid theory of dinosaur extinction is only about two and a half decades old, replacing, as it did, the volcanic eruption theory that alternated for a while in popularity with the super-nova- out-in-space-somewhere-cosmic-rays theory. And does anyone ever give poor Immanuel Velikovsky any credit now that the impact theory is in vogue? Nope. Not even a card at Christmas—but we digress….the really dull and dry truth is that 1998 QE2 won’t even do anything as it passes us—no light show, no fiery glow—and perhaps dullest of all, it isn’t even named after Queen Elizabeth, its designation deriving from the alphanumeric scheme that documents when asteroids are discovered.  Boring, but in the news!

"Uh-oh!" Few people realize that the dinosaurs were not made extinct by an asteroids until sometime around the mid-1980s!

“Uh-oh!” Few people realize that the dinosaurs were not made extinct by an asteroid until sometime around the mid-1980s!

Less boring but equally distracting has been the coverage allotted lizards on Mars. A “science” blogger in Japan who shall remain nameless–precisely because he chose to remain nameless–posted claims to the effect that detailed scrutiny of NASA Rover photos from the Martian planetary service had revealed a lizard crawling about, and to back up this claim he helpfully posted a photo of said lizard, included here for your perusal. Now, beloved readers, we maintain here at WOOF a Science & the Paranormal Directorate that monitors news of anomalous, paranormal, and UFO-related phenomena, and we can solemnly assure you that this anonymous blogger’s lizard discovery is hardly on a par with some of the bizarre stuff that goes on around this planet, except that it happened to hit the web when distractions were desperately needed to focus the minds of Earth people on something other than an Administration in need of prosecution under the RICO act.

Martian Lizard captures tremendous media attention--NASA engaged in cover up?

Martian Lizard captures tremendous media attention–NASA engaged in cover up?

The San Francisco Chronicle became so overwrought about the Mars picture that it assigned analysts to investigate. In due course the analysts returned the datum that the lizard, as it appears in the actual NASA photo, is just a rock and does not appear to possess legs and a tail except in the version posted by the anonymous Japanese blogger. Perhaps the ultra-liberal Chronicle, which has not, to date, officially noticed anything askew in the Obama Administration, will proceed to investigate NASA to learn why it is doctoring its pictures of Martian lizards to look like rocks.

_______________________________________________________________________

Tornadoes, global warming, and presidential shout-outs

The weather has been cruel in recent weeks, and weather is certainly a valid reportorial concern, especially when violent, destructive, and deadly. But the actual disasters of May seemed somehow insufficient to satisfy the media’s appetite for the subject, and so greater distractions were displayed in the form of scientific prophecies from various forecasters. If any of the predictions rushed into print by eager journalists called for relative calm and surcease, WOOF missed the stories.

The Boston Globe, also studiedly unconcerned with Administration scandals, is on the story when in comes to global warming, and recently devoted headlines to major storms and droughts that haven’t happened yet…in fact the Globe reports that that the citizens of Earth should “prepare for an unprecedented onslaught of deadly and costly weather disasters,” and cites the recent report by an international team of Nobel-Prize-winning climate scientists as evidence. The scientists, uniformly pessimistic, offered prognostications the Globe considered reliable enough to treat as news. And as if any further proof were required that Dick Cheney’s secret Halliburton weather machine is partially to blame for such matters, the report concludes that the most affected countries will be poor undeveloped ones, although it hastens to aver that all regions of the planet remain imperiled.

Picture046

Secret weather machine? Rumors have long circulated that Halliburton possesses weather-changing technology under the nefarious command of Dick Cheney!

Other news outlets enthusiastically recycled the predictions of meteorologist Jeff Masters who received his Ph.D. in “air pollution meteorology” from the University of Michigan.  Masters’s claim to fame is that he predicted a hurricane would hit New York—and of course, one did. Contrary to what we are led to believe by Global Warmists, the New York storm was not an historic first. New York has been hit by 14 major (deadly) hurricanes since they started counting in the 1800s. The New England Hurricane of 1938 killed more New Yorkers than Sandy did, and several other storms were near rivals.

Jeff Masters, meteorology's prophet of doom.

Jeff Masters, meteorology’s prophet of doom.

So  predicting a hurricane in New York did not require Delphic powers—but Masters founded a meteorological group called “The Weather Underground”—a coy meteorological tip of the topper to the killer clowns of the radical ‘60s–and predicted innumerable additional disasters, allowing himself a thirty year cushion for their occurrence, albeit, which obviously means he can confidently anticipate the eventual manifestation of something resembling substantiation of each prediction as judged by himself, should the Lord see fit to preserve him through the coming maelstroms. The media were not waiting for confirmation however; they splashed Dr. Masters’s predictions all over the news, as if the horrors visited upon Oklahoma might prove insufficiently riveting to retain the attention of the public.

The scientific prediction of weather has never fully established itself as a predictive instrument.

The prediction of weather has never fully established itself as a reliable science.

The President seemed similarly concerned, and sought to allude to the disasters in Oklahoma during his hug fest with Governor Chris Christie on the Jersey Shore. During his speech Our Beloved Helmsman informed the crowd that he wanted to give a shout out to the Tornado ravaged city of Monroe, Oklahoma, and pledged that they could “count on the fact that they won’t be alone.” But as comforting as the citizens of Monroe presumably found this news, they were untouched by any tornadoes and located a comfy 200 miles from the wreckage in Moore, Oklahoma where the tornado actually struck, killing 24 people. President Obama had just come from surveying the damage in Moore, but oh well.

The president tours the soon to be forgotten city of Moore, Oklahoma

The president exhibits telltale signs of disorientation as he tours the soon to be forgotten city of Moore, Oklahoma

______________________________________________________________________

And then there’s the possibility that nobody cares!

What ever happened to Baghdad Bob? Why is he denied credit for pioneering contemporary American journalistic stnadards.

What ever happened to Baghdad Bob? Why is he denied credit for pioneering contemporary American journalistic standards?

A thousand additional examples of the media campaign to distract us with a wand while the free hand hides the coin could be recited paragraph upon paragraph, but WOOF is merciful. We cannot, however, close this review without mentioning a brand new tactic appearing in the last few days, and this in the form of meeting the scandals head on, giving them complete recognition, and then shelving them as un-newsworthy, which conclusion is said to derive, as is often the case nowadays, from poll findings, causing it to appear both scientific and curiously disassociated from the reporters who “report” it with such conspicuous approval. This is a variety of reportage never before seen in America—a country in which political scandal has always provoked a feeding frenzy of journalists, even when it was their party in the wringer. No more! The “journalists” of contemporary Obamaland have hit upon the notion that scandal is, well, simply uninteresting, should it be in any way associated with Our Beloved Helmsman. Consider these examples:

There’s a new Quinnipiac poll that purports to have discovered that most Americans think the IRS scandal is more important than the Benghazi scandal—but here’s the big reveal: Most Americans think the economy is more important than any Obama scandal. Now, one might have predicted this finding without fielding the resources of Quinnipiac, mightn’t one?  It seems only obvious that people in general are most upsetdepression by high taxes, low employment, shrinking dollars and the “new normal” recession that never ends than they are by butcheries in distant lands or the IRS’s hi-jinks. The concern about the economy is the necessary result of the damages Obama’s leadership (or any socialist leadership) predictably imposes on citizens. And economic woes of one degree or another continue to affect most Americans—even our liberal friends and neighbors who still think “W” did this to them—This hardly suggests that people aren’t concerned about the other less immediately punitive crises. Indeed, the same poll revealed that three-quarters of Americans now believe a special prosecutor should be appointed to investigate the IRS’s targeting of conservative groups, and this includes 63% of Democrats. Nevertheless, a superficial interpretation of the poll’s findings caused broadcasters at CNN, MSNBC, and various other localities around the dial to begin cheerfully assuring one another that Dear Leader would be just fine after all because nobody thought his abuses of power were as interesting as losing their homes, jobs or savings.

Next came a CNN poll showing Republicans losing favor, Democrats gaining favor, and President Obama enjoying a surge in popularity, all of which was promptly attributed to how much Americans despise hearing our young president’s reputation sullied by mud-slinging Neanderthals on the Right!

Donny Deutsche, the advertising executive whom liberal news media have repeatedly attempted to transform into a political commentator, appeared on the TODAY program to offer his view of the situation. Donny rambled on with signature incoherence, finally telling Matt Lauer “after a while we get a little bored and turned off.” Donny ought to know, his last CNN show, “Get to the Point,” was cancelled after one week on the air.

Donny's former CNN program--now you see it, now you don't!

Donny Deutsche’s former CNN program–now you see it, now you don’t!  “After a while we get a little bored and turned off.”

Even Lauer remonstrated with Deutsche that the scandals were “serious problems,” but American indifference to Obama’s miscreant presidency was by then the accepted template in the Liberal Establishment Media. The Daily KOS (like, what is with that KOS deal, are they from Kosovo?) explained that, “The American people just don’t think that it’s the worst scandal since Watergate that Obama called the Benghazi consulate attack an ‘act of terror’ as opposed to a  ‘terrorist attack.’” Well, WOOF would like to agree with our ultra-left wing friends from Kosovo. In fact we don’t know anybody who considers what Obama said or didn’t say about the attack to constitute the worst scandal since Watergate. It was the part where the president shot hoops or snoozed or met with “The Pimp with a Limp,” while the Secretary of State sat on her not-insubstantial fundament in the situation room at the White House and declined repeatedly to allow rescue forces to enter the field while four Americans died in an eight-hour battle with Al Qaeda—you know, that part? That’s the part that sort of worries us—along with lying about it for weeks—but hey, people say we’re extremists so perhaps we’re overreacting.

Ambassador Stevens relinquishing his post after 8-hour gun battle wit Al Qaeda.

Ambassador Stevens relinquishing his post after 8-hour gun battle with Al Qaeda.

________________________________________________________________________

What dreams may come!

images surf

One thing’s for sure, Gentle Readers, it will be an especially interesting summer as the Liberal Establishment scrambles to find small fascinations with which to divert us from the president’s predicaments…glittery bijous proffered for the masses….divertissements of every nature, novelties for every taste; prepare to be regaled, gentle readers, with tales of treachery, tragedy, villainy, and tomfoolery, all to wean you from our national reality while you let the lazy estival months slip by.

freaks and odditiesHey—did you know that guy—Adam Levine—that guy on NBC’s The Voice—got caught on a hot mic saying, “I hate this country”? Maybe you had no idea there was such a person or such a program, (we had no idea either), but from the coverage you might reasonably suppose that Levine bombed Pearl Harbor. And hey, check out MSNBC’s website—do you know there are political problems in Turkey? Did you know that an asteroid nearly hit us? (Oh yeah, we mentioned that–well, it’s still front page at MSNBC), and never mind the lizards of mars—you can now click on a video tape of a mermaid—see what you think! And by the way, 1 percent of Americans hold 39 percent of our wealth— speaking of whom, Miley Cyrus is currently engaged again to some Australian actor to whom she was also formerly engaged but briefly disengaged from, unless she is no longer engaged again by the time you read this. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, whoever they are, are currently apart, and Kanye West whom we know only because of his drunken insistence that “Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time,” is dating a Cardassian—and we didn’t even think they actually existed! And while we’re discussing space aliens, the latest word from film critics is that Will Smith’s new movie “After Earth” may be the worst movie ever made. Wow! You know, we might actually go to see that!

female cardassian

A female Cardassian–not necessarily the one who caught Kanye’s eye.

BUT GOODBYE TO ALL THAT! WOOF RECALLS THE MOST POINTLESS MEDIA FRENZIES OF 2012!

In "The Media are the Massage" forum on January 2, 2013 at 7:04 pm

Remembering the GREATEST MEDIA  NON-STORIES  of 2012:

WOOF just can’t say good bye to 2012 without recalling to mind the biggest media-hyped non-events or wrongly reported fiascoes of the year! We arbitrarily decided to discuss 8 of them, because we had to stop someplace, right?

The infamous film maker is led off to political prison!

The infamous film maker is led off to political prison!

FRENZY ONE: WOOF’s man of the year for 2012 is a no-brainer—the choice of the man who sent the media, the Obama administration, the United Nations and the concerned peoples of the globe into the greatest frenzy is definitely Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, the 55-year-old ex-con and part-time filmmaker who managed to get a small bit of leader from an anti-Islamic film that nobody has seen even now, up on the Internet and was blamed for the meticulously-planned rocket and mortar attacks conducted by Al

Charles Woods--father of SEAL killed during the Benghazi battle could barely catch a break from the media--maybe if he was as sexy as Cindy Sheehan?

Charles Woods–father of SEAL killed during the Benghazi battle could barely catch a break from the media–maybe if he was as sexy as Cindy Sheehan?

Qaeda against the American consulate in Benghazi and the embassy in Egypt, (initially described as flash mobs by the Administration), riots across the Middle East, and Bird Flu. The father of Tyrone Woods, one of the Navy SEALS killed in the consulate assault, was actually assured by Hillary Clinton,  “We’re going to have that person arrested and prosecuted that did that video.” And Hillary was as good as her word! Nakoula, who was originally said to be an Israeli millionaire named  Sam Bacile, who, it transpires, never existed, was hauled into a Los Angeles federal court where Judge Suzanne H. Segal cited a “lengthy pattern of deception,” which included the virtually unprecedented enormity of “ lying to parole officials.” On November 7, 2012, Nakoula pled guilty to four of five minor, non-violent charges and was sentenced to one year in prison and four years of supervised release because, as Segal firmly asserted,” The court has a lack of trust in the defendant at this time.” Well, there you go! The court also deemed the defendant a flight risk, although why anybody would care remains mysterious.

Nakoula is apparently an Egyptian Coptic Christian who went broke running a gas station, attempted to manufacture meth but was busted before he could fully break bad, and amassed a handful of additional two-bit criminal convictions and a history of using aliases. The only part of his “movie” that anyone seems to have spotted are some trailers he put on the net, and which apparently remain on the net to no one’s evident consternation, because YouTube says they do not violate its standards. Although an actual movie appears to have been financed by a Christian Charity in Los Angeles, where it was also allegedly filmed, nobody seems to have actually screened  “Innocence of Muslims,” much of which was evidently cobbled together from a film initially entitled “Desert Warrior.” The anti-Muslim references and any discussion of the Prophet seem to have been dubbed in subsequently, and many actors, including Actress Cindy Lee Garcia, are suing, claiming they were deceived. One wonders if there was even film in the cameras?

Actress Cindy Lee Garcia seems to be having a WTF moment during the shooting of whatever film she was really in-- and even she isn't sure at this point!

Actress Cindy Lee Garcia seems to be having a WTF moment during the shooting of whatever film she was really in– and even she isn’t sure at this point!

So nice going, Nakoula Nakoula, or Mark Basseley Youseff as you now claim to be named—you made international headlines for doing absolutely nothing that anybody can accurately specify except providing a handy CYA ploy for President Obama, who, for reasons that remain unexplained, preferred to watch his ambassador to Libya and the ambassador’s valiant defenders being slaughtered on his situation-room TV to giving a “shoot” order to a circling AC-130, or sending in the handily available CIA or Marine “Corpse.”

SO…for making the monolithic Obama-obedient media and the administration they serve look like utter nincompoops for at least two weeks, while Ambassador Susan Rice

Ambassador Rice tries her hardest to remember who told her it was all because of Yousef's movie--but it just isn't coming to her...think, Susan, think!

Ambassador Rice tries her hardest to remember who told her it was all because of Nakoula’s movie–but it just isn’t coming to her…think, Susan, think!

blamed him incessantly for the crisis, the battle, and all discontent in the region, and while Secretary of State Clinton vowed vengeance against him, and while President Obama actually made a speech to the UN fingering him as the culprit, and while Al Qaeda presumably laughed its butt off at us, WOOF names Nakoula Nakoula its man of the year…whatever his actual name may be. We will continue to follow his career moves and are currently checking out the rumor that his next film will be entitled “Buddha, You Fat Dork, You Ain’t all That Either!”

FRENZY TWO: Jim Avila, ABC’s consumer crusader, went to war against “Pink Slime” and put 2,000 consumers (who happened to have jobs processing beef products) out of work while costing an estimated half a billion dollars in economic damage and nearly

In 1968, Robert Horton (left)  saved earth from "The Green Slime," but he let us down in 2012!

In 1968, Robert Horton (left) saved earth from “The Green Slime,” but he let us down in 2012!

bankrupting at least two companies who were caught in the act attempting to make hamburgers healthier. Beef Products Inc. is suing ABC for over a million dollars for reporting that ridiculed its popular additive as “pink slime.” Actually, “pink slime” is a media invention, possibly commemorating a ridiculous science-fiction film from the late ’60s, and loosely associated with a process of divesting beef of its excessive fats rendering it 94 to 97 percent lean with a nutritional value comparable to 90 percent lean ground beef. The resultant product is treated with ammonia or citric acid (vitamin C) and flash frozen into cubes that can be used as extenders to increase the girth and nutritional content of your next cheeseburger. “Pink Slime,” in other words, is high in protein, very low in fat, contains iron, zinc and B vitamins, and does NOT contain cow intestines or connective tissue such as tendons, unless those evil corporate types at BPI Inc. are lying to us, in which case we have our hokey, brain-dead, dumb-as-rocks Vendetta masks at the ready!

Most despicably of all, villainous Pink Slime producers may have exported this vile stuff to starving West Africans!

Most despicably of all, villainous Pink Slime producers may have exported this vile stuff to starving West Africans!

FRENZY THREE: Speaking of which, The OCCUPY movement is remarkable for having earned praise and awe from the Obama-obedient media, and from liberal politicians and social commentators generally, while standing for absolutely nothing discernible  and causing incalculable amounts of damage and thugery wherever it assembled its ragged, tweet-responsive  legions. The “movement” was described in hilariously vacuous terms by all who lauded it. The reliably silly Cornel West hailed it as a “democratic awakening,” whatever that means, while the movement described itself as opposing social and economic inequality—which is the same as to say it opposes

Occupiers in the act of occupying-- if they're 99% and the Hells Angels are the 1% then who are we again?

Occupiers in the act of occupying– if they’re 99% and the Hells Angels are the 1% –then who are we again?

reality. Led by paunchy, balding ex-hippies with silver pony-tails proudly a-flutter, the OCCUPIERS consisted mainly of unemployed rabble and bored college brats who called themselves “the 99%” and rioted, inflicted property damage, raped and mugged one another, set fire to cars, ransacked buildings, and produced at least one substantive bomb plot while racking up 8,000 arrests of its peace-loving members. President Obama spoke in support of the movement, as did Nancy Pelosi and Elizabeth Warren, the Cherokee Princess recently elected to the Senate in Massachusetts. Iran’s Ayatollah Ali Khamenei praised the Occupiers, as did Red China, and North Korea. Joe Biden said the movement was “a lot like the Tea Party,” and Rep. Peter

We were going to market these, but some guy named Sonny Barger threatened to sue us!

We were going to market these, but some guy named Sonny Barger threatened to sue us!

Welch of Vermont agreed with him. Welch elaborated, however, attaining dizzying heights of sociopolitical perspicacity when he boldly asserted that,“My strong sense is people who are doing this occupying want their voices to be heard.” Who says Vermont went brain dead in the ‘70s? But the OCCUPY movement, despite the 100% enthusiastic backing of the media propagandists, fell victim to its own insipidity and became a titanic, smelly, litter producing Albatross around the necks of the liberals who tried to love it. Asked what they supported, most Occupiers shouted “socialism!” and asked what they opposed, most occupiers shouted “government!” (Yes, and corporations, of course, we can’t have those things slowing down progress!) Let the epitaph for this flash mob on steroids be spoken by David Weidner of MarketWatch who originally jumped on the bandwagon applauding OCCUPY as “The Tea Party, only with brains!” To his credit, he later wrote, “About a year ago I called Occupy Wall Street a ‘tea party with brains.’ Today, I’m the one who needs his head examined.” Not really, Weidner—it’s your pals on the Left who are too crazy to know they need their heads examined who need their heads examined—but they’re all out protesting global warming, the Koch brothers, and pink slime. Booyeah!

The Tea Party with brains? Go ask... Elizabeth Warren!

The Tea Party with brains? Go ask… Elizabeth Warren!

FRENZY FOUR: Take my wife—please!  Christianity was just about wiped off the map this year, if press reports were to be believed. Allen Pizzy at CBS saw “the very foundation of Christian thinking” stretched to the breaking point when Harvard professor of divinity Karen King discovered a chunk of papyrus about the size of a business card that contained references to Jesus’ wife—and just in case anybody thought Jesus was talking about “the church” in the metaphoric sense of the church being the bride of Christ, well—there was also discovered an additional reference in which Jesus clearly said, in so many words, “I mean Mary!” See? Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene, making the DaVinci Code by Dan Brown a valid theological discourse, just as liberals everywhere believed it to be all along! Network TV newscasts and the liberal dailies and news magazines went bonkers with joy, overlooking entirely the odd fact that Karen King had a long-standing devotion to the idea that Christ was married, and her scholarship at Harvard has been a consistent deconstruction of what she calls the “master story” of Christianity—and miracle of miracles (you should forgive the expression) she now just happened to come into possession of the one small fragment of Egyptian Coptic that proved Jesus was not celibate!

Actually, the Mary who washed Jesus' feet remains a matter of theological conjecture--but experts have ruled out the belief that the one in this picture is proposing.

Actually, which Mary in the Bible washed Jesus’ feet remains a matter of theological conjecture–but our experts have ruled out the possibility that the one in this picture is proposing.

In a masterpiece of cyclical reasoning Dr. King asked the Smithsonian Magazine, Why is it that only the literature that said he was celibate survived? And all of the texts that showed he had an intimate relationship with Magdalene or is married didn’t survive? Is that 100 percent happenstance? Or is it because of the fact that celibacy becomes the ideal for Christianity?” Well, maybe it’s just that no literature ever said he was married to begin with, huh, Karen?  But the New York Times went straight-up orgasmic over

karen king, it's a boy!

Dr. King enjoying her fifteen minutes. “Yessss, my precious!”

King’s “find,” running an utterly uncritical front page story—and since the dinosaur TV networks check the Times to see what they’re supposed to be reporting (or spiking)    the news anchors went nuts over King’s putative proof of Jesus and Mary as an item. But all good things must end, and darn it all, the Coptic sentences turned out to be badly written, strewn with peculiar typos—and mainly cadged from the apocryphal Gospel of Thomas. The Vatican newspaper branded King’s scrap of papyrus “an inept forgery” and “a fake” — but that’s what you’d expect from those uptight Catholics, right? Problem being that most of the academic community seemed to feel the same way. Oxford University’s Andrew Bernhard pointed out that a forger appeared to have copied a portion of the Gospel of Thomas that is displayed on the Internet—complete with an egregious typo that omitted the Coptic letter “M.”  Professor Francis Watson of DurhamUniversity in England observed that “all of the sentence fragments found on the papyrus fragment have been copied, sometimes with small alterations, from printed editions of the Gospel of Thomas.” Watson added that he would be “very surprised if it were not a modern forgery.” Indeed, expert after expert chimed in subsequently pointing out the glaring indications of forgery contained in King’s little sample of history—enough that the press backed away and wandered off looking for other icons to mangle. Nobody in the scholarly world, of course, has been so crude as to suggest that Dr. King would be better occupied working on a birth certificate for the president—but it’s safe to say her 15 minutes are up.

Hey! Where's the 'M,' yo?

Hey! Where’s the ‘M,’ yo?

FRENZY FIVE: The Mayan death calendar… well, just as WOOF predicted, we didn’t all die on December 21st, nor were we transported to another dimension, nor were we turned into adoring flower children who would enter the New Age of Teletubbie hugginess and bliss—no, we’re all still here, just as WOOF’s very own Dr. Gootensteiner Johannes Walters  of Zug Switzerland said we would be—and the most wildly hyped end of the world since at least Y2K has come and gone, leaving a lot of doomsayers with a severe case of buyer’s remorse. As we all know by now, The Mayan calendar moves in cycles with the last cycle ending in December 2012. This is what had everyone

Valentines Day in Old Chichen Itza--no time for left over for astronomy?

Celebrating Valentines Day in Old Chichen Itza–no time left for astronomy?

convinced that we were goners. The last day of the Mayan calendar corresponds with the Winter Solstice, which gave the alleged end-time prediction an added occult kick, and had many experts mumbling fatalistically. Simon Martin, co-curator for the “Maya 2012: Lords of Time,” exhibit at the Penn Museum in Philadelphia went on record saying that December would usher in an epochal shift of sorts, “rather like the year 2000 marked a new millennium.” Of course, the new millennium didn’t actually begin until 2001, but nobody really seemed to care. As Martin explained some time ago, regarding the long-count Mayan calendar, “What happens in December of this year is that it changes from the 12th baktun to the 13th baktun, and that’s a cycle that has been running for 400 years. The current sequence of 13 baktuns has been running since 3114 BC or 5,125 years.”  So big deal. The fact is, the Mayans had no more authentic impact on this year’s solstice than did the Venusians—maybe less! And anyone with even the vaguest understanding of Biblical prophecy should have been able to tell we weren’t ready for the apocalypse! First of all—where is the famine? Sure, we may be on the brink of a doozy of a famine, but we aren’t in one yet. Second, where are Gog and Magog in that unholy alliance kind of unification thing? Soon, maybe, but not here yet, right? And the rebuilding of the temple on the temple mount in Jerusalem—what’s holding that up? And we have yet to see Nancy Pelosi spread batlike wings in the halls of congress, declare herself the Whore of Babylon and incinerate two thirds of the assembled lawmakers with fire breath. Okay, we made that one up—but trust us when we tell you, the Mayans didn’t know from squat about when the world would end, and the end is not yet!  Soon, maybe, but definitely not yet…and we here at WOOF will definitely let you know if that changes!

What do we have to do, draw you a picture?

What do we have to do, draw you a picture?

FRENZY SIX: Sci-Fi blockbuster—the Disney picture “John Carter of Mars” was supposed to revolutionize the Science Fiction world—and with a story line involving a civil war soldier who winds up on Mars—how could it fail? Especially since the story was originally by the legendary Edgar Rice Burroughs—and just hiring him must have cost Disney a fortune. Determined, perhaps, to produce a spectacular film about life on an alien planet that was not a Pol-Pot-style paean to anti-Corporate revolution, and was simultaneously not a CGI-altered retelling of “Dances with Wolves,” the folks at Disney sank a cool 250 million into their master work, and spent 100 million more marketing

There are more Martians behind John Carter in this still than earthlings who actually saw the film!

There are more Martians behind John Carter in this still than earthlings who actually saw the film!

it, most of which, apparently, would have been better spent repainting the Peter Pan rides at Disney World and Disneyland and going ahead with the Annette Funicello Monument and Library, as WOOF has long recommended. Anyway, the only epic aspect of the film’s release was its epic failure at the box office where to date it has recouped a paltry 184 million dollars, But experts tell WOOF that John Carter may eventually earn his keep abroad, where foreign audiences prefer American spectaculars because the comparative dearth of dialogue means there are fewer subtitles to keep up with among the explosions, space ship overflights and

Obama's Martian involvement--buried by the liberal media!

Obama’s Martian involvement–buried by the liberal media!

force-field eruptions. There is, of course, another, more sinister reason why Disney may have struck out domestically with what appeared to be a surefire cinematic product, and that is, of course, the subversive Obama administration, the Council of Foreign Relations and the Trilateral Commission, all of whom have a vested interest in keeping the Obama/Mars connection under wraps, where it remains fairly well concealed despite WOOF’s fearless expose (see Science and the Paranormal forum).  Just as films like “The Hanoi Hilton” and “The Wind and the Lion” were met with low theatrical exposure and studied negativity from the critical establishment because their right-wing themes were deliberately squelched by the Socialist Totalitarian Conspiracy, so the kibosh may have been put on the Disney release simply to keep people’s minds off the crimson planet at a time when Obama’s youthful visits to the Martian surface threaten to break into the news cycle. So – a major motion picture from a surefire studio bombs in the American market, and none dare call it conspiracy? Think about it!

zuckerberg

Zuckerberg kicks off the public issue of stock– the media ooh, ahh, and swoon.

FRENZY SEVEN: The Facebook zillionaires!  OMG, have you ever scrolled down somebody’s Facebook page? Perhaps you have some peculiar masochistic bent, gentle reader, that has resolved you even to maintain your own Facebook page?  Why would any rational human being subject himself to the daily bombardment of insipidity that this pursuit entails? Where else can you rely on seeing someone declare that she has just made herself a pastrami sandwich, and 47 people report that they “like” this datum? And the political blather, like, really—are all the least intelligent liberals in America confederated in a concerted effort to flood Facebook’s pages with their most embarrassingly demented observations?  But anyhow…in February the loathsome Los Angeles Times reported with its customary reliability that, “the 8-year-old social networking company has submitted registration documents with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission [setting] a preliminary goal of raising $5 billion. Facebook is expected to be valued at $75 billion to $100 billion.” And everyone went nuts predicting the vast proliferation of instant millionaires that would follow fast on the public issuance of Facebook’s stock. The first day Zuckerberg’s stock went on sale it skyrocketed from its opening price of 37 dollars to positively dizzying heights, and then—like the old Navy

The Vanguard Program's only real payload: A lasting metaphor for the overblown media frenzies of our time.

The Vanguard Program’s only real payload: A lasting metaphor for the
overblown media frenzies of our time.

Vanguard rockets, settled back down on its launching pad and blew up, finally closing almost exactly where it opened. From there, it retreated consistently to absolutely dismal levels, and today is trading around 19 bucks per share. Rumor has it that investors remain skittish regarding whether the premiere social network can increase revenue by successfully tapping the growing mobile audience, and then there is the matter of a number of major lawsuits which remain unresolved. In December, Facebook stock fell more than 5% as almost 160 million shares held by early insiders and employees were freed from a lockup period. Now, WOOF doesn’t pretend to know whether you should see Facebook stock as a buying opportunity at this juncture, but we do know that it has fallen to a level at which all the breathless hysteria generated by the media pundits over its release can be counted as one of the years best examples of media flatulence disguised as prescience.

Finally, FRENZY EIGHT—we have the classic example of “Arab Spring,” best examined in detail by clicking on our “Chilly Winds” archive in which the entire fiasco is detailed thoroughly—but where else but in America in this era, when the entire bulk of all the news, opinion, and entertainment to which the average American is subjected comes from an inbred consortium of

Arab Spring in Benghazi--Ambassador Stevens celebrates with locals.

Arab Spring in Benghazi–Ambassador Stevens entertains local celebrants.

mental pigwidgeons on the East and Left coasts who are simultaneously devoted to misrepresenting the news by design, and misrepresenting reality through abject ignorance, could the collapse and descent of the Middle East into Islamic/Fascistic barbarity be so wildly hailed by so many chuckle-headed anchor

Ford Pinto explodes on Network TV--and apparently only on Network TV.

Ford Pinto explodes on Network TV–and apparently only on Network TV.

people and pundits as the greatest moment for human civilization since the Renaissance?  The daily and unanimous assertions that ousting reliable allies or phlegmatically neutral panjandrums from positions of power so that they could be replaced by murderous, genocidal totalitarians bent on the destruction of Israel and Christianity amounted to nothing short of a a golden era for mankind is the sort of thing for which numerous media personalities should simply be flogged in the public square. So much more egregious was this hoopla than Dan Rather’s forgery of the Bush National Guard records, or ABC’s Sylvia Chase airing footage of exploding Ford Pintos without bothering to mention that they’d been rigged to explode—or Newsweek’s riot-provoking fairy tale of Korans being flushed down toilets at Gitmo—that one wonders at the Obama-era media’s uncanny ability to simply stumble ahead, never saying “oops,” never acknowledging its inaccuracies or its obsession with talking points in diametric opposition to the truth. In this sense, WOOF guesses that Erich Segal had it wrong in his 1970 novel “Love Story.” It turns out that LIBERALISM, not love, is never having to say you’re sorry–  but Ali McGraw never mentioned that, did she! Good thing you have WOOF in your life, huh, America?

Ali McGraw-- definitely easier to look at than the Network News.

Speaking of which, here’s Ali McGraw– definitely easier to look at than the Network News.

%d bloggers like this: