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Archive for March, 2013|Monthly archive page

MISSILES AWAY! (Along with almost everything else we might need to protect ourselves)– but WOOF finds one area of defense procurement that’s armoring up big time!

In "Defense Mechanisms" forum on March 22, 2013 at 5:24 pm
Toward a more peaceful anti-missile system!

Toward a more peaceful anti-missile system!

Remember that live microphone incident back in 2012 when President Obama urged  (then) Russian President Dmitry Medvedev to tell his master, Vladimir Putin, that he, Obama, could be a lot more flexible after his re-election? Well, Woofketeers, he wasn’t kidding! Of course, President Obama never does anything himself, because he might have to take responsibility for it—no, wait, he plays golf himself–and seemingly he shoots skeet himself, (who’d want to be in proximity of that event?) but for taking the heat on foreign policy disasters, Dear Leader now has the  dull-witted, Jew-aversive, pro-Communist Secretary of Defense of his choice (namely Chuck Hagel) enabling him to proceed shredding our defenses while hiding behind the proverbial curtain. With this arrangement, America can weaken itself with criminal rapidity and it’ll look like the squinty RINO with the Caligula hair style did it!  Proof that liberalization has spread like head lice through the Pentagon is evident from the fact that spokespeople for the

A browbeaten Bamster begs Medvedev for time, so he can get re-elected and be more flexible!flexible.

A browbeaten Bamster begs Medvedev for time, so he can get re-elected and be more flexible!

Department of Defense insisted that cancellation of the European-based missile defense system had nothing—nothing whatsoever—to do with placating the Kremlin.  In a perfect depiction of protesting too much, Pentagon spokesman George Little rushed to his podium to assure the press that “The missile defense decisions Secretary Hagel announced were in no way about Russia.” But Hagel has been speechifying about the genius of junking our missile shield in order to improve relations with Moscow for quite some time now. He even makes the case for getting the Russkies to love us by disarming ourselves in in his book, America: Our Next Chapter, which is awfully well written for a guy who failed out of college. But since those days Chuck has been mysteriously appointed Distinguished Professor in National Governance at the Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service at University of Georgetown in Washington D. C  without so much as an associates degree. Pretty cool—so maybe that made him belletristic. And to be fair, Chuck did serve honorably in Vietnam winning several decorations in combat, (no really,he did) so maybe Georgetown University wanted to say thanks…but then,WOOF can think of twenty guys right off the top of our heads who served in Vietnam, fought in more battles, won even more impressive medals, and aren’t stupid—and nobody ever made them Distinguished Professors of anything, so what’s with that? The other possibility is that Hagel’s book was

Peter Kaminsky, Hagel's ghostly expositor and food critic--say, that's a Russian name, ain't it pal? is Hagel's

Peter Kaminsky, Hagel’s ghostly expositor and food critic–say, that’s a Russian name, ain’t it pal? 

actually written by Peter Kaminsky, but just because that’s what everybody says doesn’t mean WOOF believes it. Peter Kaminsky? He’s a food critic, for crying out loud–one who sports disquietingly ornate glasses. So…a food critic in hincty glasses wrote America: Our Next Chapter? Maybe Chuck didn’t have the connections to merit Bill Ayers.  But we digress–the point is:  this week the ax fell on European missile defense.  No surprise given the fact that when he was a senator, Hagel stated that American missile policy should be sculpted to reflect Russian concerns, which may be the single stupidest remark the Secretary has ever made, even counting his hilariously block-headed utterances during his Senate confirmation hearing, but prophetic nonetheless. Barack hands the ball to Chuck, and Chuck hands it to the Kremlin. Wake up, America, and smell the borscht!

WOOF is pleased to point out that Representative Mike Turner (R-Ohio), one of the few congressional Republicans with the gumption to confront the Obama conspiracy head-on, was quoted in Foreign Policy as saying, “We watched the president state to Medvedev that he would have greater flexibility after the election. Putin later announced the terms of the agreement. You’d have to conclude that there was a deal. …”  Besides that, as we’ve just made manifest, Chuck Hagel has long taken the party line (Democrat or Communist, take your choice) that any indication of an American willingness to defend herself with an anti-missile shield will  prove unduly provocative to the eternally hypersensitive Russians. If that sounds dumb, consider that he has actually argued that missile defense “cannot develop in a vacuum…[but] must move forward on four parallel tracks: Technology, Congress, our allies, and the Russians.”  And the  Russians? Yes, they really ought to be consulted—after all, in most kriegspeil scenarios we’d be defending ourselves against their missiles! How did this maundering ninny hammer become Secretary of Defense despite the

Hagel at his hearing-- hard questions. Hmmm.

Hagel at his hearing– hard questions. Hmmm.

most embarrassingly inept confirmation performance in memory–and despite being what John McCain accurately called the least impressive witness he had seen in his 26-year Senatorial career? Simple, Wooferians, the Democrat majority in congress, far more enamored of Liberalism than bothered by such anachronistic concepts as Americanism, enthusiastically handed the Defense Department over to this Red-appeasing, Israel-bashing bozo, assisted by the votes of four Republicans, one of whom, sad to say, was Rand Paul. And just to remind ourselves of how far out in la-la land Hagel truly is, let us review the statement from James Inhofe of Oklahoma, the ranking Republican on the Senate Armed Services Committee, who recalled for any with ears or brains that during his time in the Senate, “He [Hagel] was one of the only two that voted against sanctions for Iran [and] one of only four that voted against an effort to [list] the Iran Revolutionary Guard as a terrorist group.” Not only that, but when Hagel headed the President’s Commission on U.S. Policy toward Russia, he concluded that “…an integrated missile defense system between the U.S. and Russia is the most desirable outcome.”  Sure—that way we can jointly stop ICBMs launched from—oh—maybe Finland?

And intelligence reports suggest that the Dutchie of Fenwick is assuming a more aggressive strategic posture!

…and intelligence reports suggest that the Dutchie of Fenwick is assuming a more aggressive strategic posture!

So Chuckie goes to the Pentagon, and what’s his first move? Scrub the missile defense in Europe—just like Putin wanted. And what concessions will this win from Putin? Absolutely none, of course—it will only make him more ravenous, more emboldened.  Obama knows this, because at the outset of his first term he junked a contractually vouchsafed missile defense system in Poland and the Czech Republic, at tremendous cost of prestige and good will in that region—and got absolutely nothing from the Russians in return—no, not even a wan smile playing ephemerally across Putin’s sepulchral countenance. Nyet. Nada. Obama is not so dimwitted as to suppose that anything different will occur as the result of this act of American self-mutilation—it simply fits into his blatantly obvious plans for unilaterally disarming this nation, which he can pursue with greater abandon now that he in fact possesses the greater flexibility he promised Medvedev and Putin.

Russia's Mr. Big: Vladimir Putin--Missiles? Heck, he won't even go along with gun control! ,

Russia’s Mr. Big: Vladimir Putin–Missiles? Heck, he won’t even go along with gun control!

The surest indicator that the administration intends to further gut the European defense plan is the frantic assertion from various “senior administration officials” who speak, of course, on the condition of anonymity, that “There is still an absolutely firm commitment” to the Central European missile defense system. But the White House  asserts that the remaining elements of the shield  have the sole purpose of protecting us from Iran—which seems unnecessary given President Obama’s recent assurances that Iran will not be allowed to develop a nuclear weapon, and pointless from a European standpoint since Ahmadinejad is nowhere on record calling Lichtenstein, e.g., the Great Satan. No, the whole idea here is to weaken the West and placate the Russian Bear. Consider: Stephen Pifer of the subversive Brookings Institute, who chirruped gleefully, “There is no threat to Russian missiles now! If you listen to what the Russians have been saying for the last two years, this has been the biggest obstacle to things like cooperation with NATO.”

Joyful Russian bears happy and carefree now that the oppressive threat of having their first strike missiles knocked down has been removed!

Joyful Russian bears seem happy and carefree now that the oppressive threat of having their first strike missiles knocked down has been removed!

Listen, dear readers, and you listen too, Stephen Pifer, you unmitigated jobbernowl, we don’t want the Russians cooperating with NATO—and in any case, that’s not the objective. The objective is nuclear disarmament which the Russians will now pretend to engage in with us so that Our Dear Leader can strip our nuclear arsenal of its primacy while Putin’s government pretends to keep pace, thus achieving a marked strategic superiority.  These perfidies began soon after Our Beloved Helmsman’s first election. In 2009obama pinoch he tipped his hand in that classic way of his, by assuring the people of Eastern Europe during a speech he made in Prague, that “As long as the threat from Iran persists, we will go forward with a missile defense system that is cost-effective and proven.”  All this as though Iran were the main reason to erect a shield against nuclear devastation, as if the people of Prague lost sleep expecting to be nuked by Tehran. In Obamaspeak, this spelled doom for the Eastern European missile defense plan, of course, first because the President avoided any mention of the adversary most threatening to that region and to America, so leery was he of implicating his brethren in Moscow, and secondly because he gave his solemn word, which is always the kiss of death. And in September of the same year, the White House announced that it “no longer planned to move forward” with the project. Sorry Poland!  Just kidding, Czech Republic.

America's F-22 Raptors--both of them!

America’s vaunted F-22 Raptors–both of them!

Other Obama era blows to America’s defenses include the Army and Air Force C-27J transport project. One billion dollars had been spent on research and development when the Regime dropped the hatchet on it. The Marines spent 3.2 billion developing their newest amphibious assault vehicle, the Expeditionary Fighting Vehicle—before the Obama administration ordered the program halted on 11 February, 2011. Next, the Obama Administration announced that America no longer wished to cooperate with its European allies in the development of the Medium Extended Air Defense (MEADS) program, and turned its back on its nonplussed partners Germany and Italy. And then there was the vaunted F-22 Raptor, hailed by most aeronautical experts as the finest fighter aircraft ever conceived, and voted into oblivion by the Democrat-dominated Senate (at Obama’s behest, naturally), placing 95,000 American jobs at risk in the process and eliminating from our arsenal all but a handful of these superb aircraft that are best suited to oppose top-notch jets of Russian or Chinese manufacture and less expensive to produce than the cumbersome F-35. Worse, the F-35 is a “joint strike fighter,” which sounds spiffy but actually betokens an aircraft that will underperform in every service since it is built to accommodate the demands of all. The last such fiasco was the F-111 “Aardvark”–the hopelessly multi-tasked brainchild of Robert Strange McNamara  need we say more?  To date the equally compromised F-35 has cost $400 billion while suffering technical faults, delays, cost overruns and other assorted difficulties that make it a budgetary nightmare and threaten to occasion its curtailment -and it’s the only egg in the basket, dear readers, when it comes to maintaining air superiority for our forces. Meanwhile, following two stunningly successful interceptions of test targets by their ultra-modern laser beams, Boeing’s 747-400F  missile-killing planes, which could have zapped enemy rockets during boost phase or at other points in flight, were all shot down by Obama’s budget cutters and have vanished from our nation’s defenses.


Boeing’s 747  400F Laser Planes call “mayday!”

So doesn’t this administration believe in any sort of military strength for America? Is it willing to allocate any funding at all for weapons acquisition in the interest of maintaining our national security? Well—yes, if you don’t put too fine a point on how you define such things. For example, you can sleep securely, can’t you, knowing that Homeland Security has purchased 1.6 billion rounds of ammunition? That s enough ammo, by the way, to keep a full blown war in two theaters of operation in progress for about 15 years.  You will sometimes read that these are “hollow point bullets outlawed by international law” but that’s a tempest in a teapot and a lot less weird than the sheer magnitude of the purchase. You can buy hollow point ammo at your local sporting goods shop (if you can find any ammo for sale these days!) and it is reasonable to suppose that any law enforcement agency might order some ammunition of this type—but there is no conceivable reason that any legitimate duties of law enforcement could require 1.6 billion rounds, even if the TSA  is preparing to spearhead a thrust into into North Korea in the event of war.

team america

But that’s not all! The very same Department of Homeland Security also purchased almost 2,000 refitted, mine-resistant, gun mounting Maxx-Pro MRAP (mine resistant, ambush protected) armored vehicles (built to withstand mines, IED explosions, and heavy ballistic fire) in order to patrol American streets. And what sort of threats to our Homeland will the Maxx-Pros be alert for as they roll through Any Town, USA?  Bear in mind that the MaxxPro can carry a full squad of armed troops in its bowls, mounts an M-2 50 caliber belt-fed machine gun atop its cab, and often sports an Mk19 automatic grenade launcher that can chuck a fusillade of 40mm M430 grenades 1,500 yards.  Handy, obviously, for use inside airports or bus stations. Meanwhile, in the interest of public safety, please don’t own a gun, and if you must own a gun, for gosh sake don’t get one of those high capacity magazines, okay? Somebody could get hurt.

But seriously, shouldn’t the head of Homeland Security be able to explain the purchase of enough ammo to fight World War Three plus five times more armored vehicles than blunted the Tet Offensive? WOOF would like to see somebody on the Hill, maybe somebody on the House’s Oversight Committee, invite Field Marshall Janet Napolitano over to explain to the nation why she needs so much muscle—to do what? Stop terrorists from getting on airplanes? Search purses? Run over potential shoe bombers? Nah.

The new look in street legal--the Maxx Pro. Maybe this year's model is better looking?

The new look in street legal–the Maxx Pro. Maybe this year’s model is better looking?

You may never have another opportunity to see WOOF make this assertion, dear readers, but the truth of what’s going on was boldly captured for all to gaze upon in   the subversive LA Times,which on March 14 published an OpEd editorial from the Southern Poverty Law Center claiming that conservative, male Caucasians who support the second amendment to the Constitution are worse than Islamic terrorists and must be clamped down on mercilessly. That’s right, the Times warned of citizens who “are oa1white, right-wing Americans, nearly all with an obsessive attachment to guns, who may represent a greater danger to the lives of American civilians than international terrorists,” thus, “”These groups should be closely monitored, with resources adequate to the task, even if it means shifting some homeland security money from the hunt for foreign terrorists.” Just to be sure it was operating as a legitimate representative of the vox populi, the Times conducted a survey of its readers, asking if Americans should be worried about the proliferation of “patriot groups,” and even among those so mentally enfeebled as to read the LA Times, 96 percent replied, “No.” Apparently the Times’s readership is oblivious of the insidious threat posed by patriotic white Americans who believe in the Bill of Rights. But you can bet that the Southern Poverty Law Center isn’t—and neither is the Obama Administration—and neither is Janet Napolitano.  WOOF is kind of offended, actually, on behalf of Black patriotic Americans who believe in the Bill of Rights– doesn’t the LA Times feel threatened by them too?

WOOF knows plenty of such patriots, just as well armed and pro-American as their white brethren, and it seems kind of racist to leave them out of the harangue–but it must be remembered that the, the LA Times functions on that rarefied stratum of  propagandistic haze in which no Black American can ever be characterized as pro-second amendment, or  conservative, or in any other respect counter-revolutionary — for the Liberal Establishment Media realized long ago that if Black Americans became aware of such principled defections from their obediently Democratic ranks, a mass exodus might ensue– concomitant with the dawning realization that minority votes need not be squandered on a white leftist  elite that has never done anything to promote Black interests and retains Black fealty only by pandering, fear mongering, and showing up at election time to sing in Black churches. Such a split would spell the end of liberalism as a viable political con job. And that’s why the Times kept its criticisms segregated, so to speak.

Janet Napolitano--thinking.

Janet Napolitano–lost in thought.

The larger question remains: Is now the time for our tumescent government’s parasitic sinecurists to heed the LA Times’s dire warning and eliminate dissent? Time, in fact, for Janet Napolitano to gird her loins and mount her command Humvee, shouting a hoarse “Let’s roll!” to her paramilitary hirelings? Yes, the dark days may be almost at hand in which the only hope for true change and the establishment of genuine egalitarianism and comradely unification under the “O” spangled banner of  Amerika  may be that version of hope and change won by the collectivized blood and steel of an ever-advancing socialism–when true fairness and universal obedience can only be assured by unleashing a flood of drones, goons, and armored vehicles upon the denizens of this nation’s most treasonably obstreperous territory — the Heartland!

Or maybe WOOF is just getting a little paranoid–huh? We’ll readily admit the whole Chuck Hagel thing has us a bit on edge, and the 160 billion bullets and the armored, tracked vehicles, and the drones, and the FEMA camps–do you realize they’re actually there? And the whole business with Benghazi still totally unexplained, and a Secretary of State who is honored with a plaque in Ho Chi Minh City for his assistance in procuring a communist victory in Vietnam, and the whole gun grab thing in congress, and Jay Leno getting fired by NBC for making too many Obama jokes in his monologues,  but hey, National Health Care isn’t even here yet–  so let’s face it, we still have a ways to go before we really hit bottom, so, hang cool, Woofketeers. And in closing, rather than misquote James Tiberius Kirk (see recent story), we’ve decided to cowboy up and leave you with the immortal words of that storied and prescient stateswoman, Dame Margaret Thatcher: “This is no time to go all wobbly!”


“When performing rocket surgery, always set your light saber on stun”– is Obama’s mind lost in space, or too stellar for earthly comprehension?

In "Unfinished Waffles" forum on March 16, 2013 at 4:59 pm
Hope he didn't tell Nichelle Nichols how unforgettable she was as Princess Leia!

Hope he didn’t tell Nichelle Nichols how unforgettable she was as Princess Leia!

True to our journalistic standards, WOOF took an exclusive lead last week in revealing that the President of the United States cannot differentiate James T. Kirk, a future native of Riverside, Ohio, from Obi Wan Kenobi who isn’t even an American. As we pointed out in last Sunday’s “Woof Bites,” President Obama concluded his confidential remarks at the annual Gridiron Dinner– the first ever Gridiron Dinner to be closed to the press (even though the press are the audience)—by announcing that he wanted “to thank everybody for not just a wonderful evening” but also wished to leave his devoted sycophants in the Washington Press Corpse “with the words of one of my favorite Star Trek characters, James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise, ‘may the force be with you!’”

James Tiberius Kirk, right? Everybody still with us?

James Tiberius Kirk, right? Everybody still with us?

Okay, so James T. Kirk is one of President Obama’s favorite Star Trek characters, but he can’t keep him individuated in his consciousness from a character in an entirely disparate film played by an Englishman, the late Sir Alec Guinness. In fact, “rappin’ preezy” has clearly failed to mentally assimilate a pop-cultural aphorism so basic to Americana that any six year old could have straightened him out regarding it.

Obi Wan Kenobi--not Kirk, right? We good?

Obi Wan Kenobi–not Kirk, right? We good?

And one of our ever-alert Woofketeers emailed us to say that the presidential bollix at the Gridiron Dinner was not the first time Our Beloved Helmsman confused Star Trek with Star Wars—no, this threatens to become an habitual problem. Our sources reminded us (okay, we didn’t even know about this one, so we weren’t technically reminded so much as informed) that Dear Leader did just about the same thing back on March 1 of this year when he spoke of his desire to “do a Jedi mind meld” with the Republicans in congress to persuade them that his most recent offer was a good deal. Mind melds, however, are Vulcan (as in Star Trek), not Jedi (as in Star Wars). Jedi, so far as anyone knows, have no clue how to perform mind melds and are in any case moralists who would never employ such a technique to deceive congress, even if they knew how.

This strange inability to get American iconography correct is a consistent problem for the President who, readers may recall, once reminded a cheering crowd in Cincinnati that, “We’re the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad,” oblivious, seemingly of the impossibility of building an Intercontinental Railroad without bridging the Atlantic and the Pacific for starters. As for the transcontinental railroad, which is presumably what was intended, it seems safe to assert that had Obama been president in 1869 instead of Grant, he would have banned the enterprise because a) all the locomotives burned coal, b) the railroad magnates did not pay federal taxes, c) the transcontinental rail opened up the West enabling white imperialistic racists from the East to further subjugate the Native American tribes, and d) the connecting spike was driven in Utah, which everyone knows is full of Mormons.

The Transcontinental Railroad is completed in Promontory, Utah. If it was the Intercontinental Railroad, they have met up mid-ocean, right?

The Transcontinental Railroad is completed in Promontory, Utah. If it was the Intercontinental Railroad, they’d have met up mid-ocean, right?

Well, WOOF has resisted thus far the temptation to present a portmanteau of Our Magnificent Helmsman’s weirdly discordant pronouncements, mainly because doing so struck us as just a trifle facile and unnecessarily distracting from our important mission of uncovering deep-rooted communist subversion at home and abroad. Pausing to detail the First Marxists’s gaffes seemed unsporting, somehow— like shooting fish in a barrel—although, didn’t the Mythbusters prove that’s harder than it seems? That’s a good show. But anyway, with the Gridiron incident it seemed somehow ineluctable that we should set aside our principles long enough to reprise the record of this bizarre man, whom the Liberal Media Establishment has wasted no effort persuading us, going on five years now, is the single most brilliant individual ever to bestride American affairs of state. And speaking of cognitive dissonance– how is the public to relate these unremitting assertions of presidential genius to the funfest of addle-pate bloopers that radiate routinely from the presidential podium?

Obama's alleged brilliance-- is it true genius, or just media hype run amok?

Obama’s alleged brilliance– is it true genius, or just media hype run amok?

The Obaman capacity to wax simultaneously narcissistic and joltingly tone deaf has been apparent from the beginning of his regime. When the terrorist shootings at Fort Hood (November 5th 2009) resulted in 13 dead and 29 wounded, all gunned down by Major Nidal Malik Hasan as he shouted “Allah Akbar,” the nation turned to its young President for words of solace and a promises of swift justice. Instead, Obama bounded on stage at a Tribal Nations Conference as though he were emceeing a variety show and jovially thanked the members of his staff “who participated today!” Next he added, “I heard that Joe Medicine Crow was around, and so I want to give a shout out to that Congressional Medal of Honor winner—it’s good to see you!” After which, Medicine Crow got a round of enthusiastic applause despite the fact that he wasn’t around, and therefore couldn’t be seen. Nor had Joe Medicine Crow ever received the Congressional Medal of Honor. Obama had in fact awarded him the Medal of Freedom only two weeks earlier, but he obviously didn’t comprehend the difference. When Obama finally got around to saying a few words about the Fort Hood slayings, it was inexcusable mush.

Joe Medicine Crow receives the Medal of Freedom as the President captures the spirit of the moment!

Joe Medicine Crow receives the Medal of Freedom as the President captures the spirit of the moment!

On the other extreme, the president just as frequently showed a considerable talent for melodramatizing tragedies, as when he solemnly informed the press, “In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died — an entire town destroyed.”  Actually 12 people died. It obviously helps secure the president’s sympathies if one is killed by someone or something other than a Muslim terrorist. The president’s sensitivity to Islam may be born of his own ambivalence, as he once spoke on live television of his gratitude to Senator McCain for not having “…talked about my Muslim faith” during the campaign. Ever the dedicated and objective journalist, ABC liberal George Stephanopoulos hastily reminded candidate Obama, “You mean your Christian faith,” to which Obama replied, “uh—Christian faith.

Militarily helpless?

Staff Sgt. Salvatore Giunta is first living recipient of the Medal of Honor in 40 years-- pride is written all over the President's face.

Staff Sgt. Salvatore Giunta is first living recipient of the Medal of Honor in 40 years– pride is written all over the President’s face.

And the business of confusing the nation’s highest military honor, so sacred that it is saluted automatically by any member of the military regardless of rank, and awarded preponderantly to those who gave their lives in acts of extraordinary courage, with the Medal of Freedom—awarded by presidential caprice (consider that Frank Sinatra won one), bespeaks a profound ignorance, indeed, ignorance of and contempt for, the American military. You may recall the occasion on which President Obama attempted to salute a United States Navy corpsman named Christopher Brossard, but referred to him as  “Navy Corpse Man Christian Brossard” thus getting his first name wrong and transforming him from a medical specialist into a zombie in one fell swoop. The president proceeded to call Brossard a “corpse man” throughout his remarks. Most Americans can pronounce “corpsman” (pronounced core-man, of course) because even if they’ve never served in the Marines or the Navy they’ve seen war movies where Marines get wounded and yell for one. The idea, however, of our brilliant young president sitting through John Wayne in The Sands of Iwo Jima, for example, seems oddly surreal. You know in your hips, don’t you beloved readers, that Obama has never in his lifetime seen a John Wayne movie.  And his weird obsession with zombie-like military figures was recycled at a Memorial Day ceremony where he thrust out his jaw and declared “…our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes — and I see many of them in the audience here today — ” Well, they say Lincoln saw ghosts, so maybe the First Marxist was furthering his efforts at consanguinity with the sixteenth president, who may also have been in the audience, although Barack didn’t mention seeing him.

life is tough

John Wayne movies–perhaps a gap in the President’s education?

At certain times, as we’ve all come to realize, the Presidential Teleprompter malfunctions—and most of us have also come to realize that on such occasions the President’s eloquence has a habit of trailing off into incoherent sentence fragments—like the time he suggested that a lot of little kids in emergency rooms probably just need breathalyzers.(We think he meant inhalers.)  But when it comes to military occasions we are deprived of even the routine incoherencies. During a White House appearance intended to glorify the Obama administration’s efforts to mainstream military veterans into the workforce, the President took to the podium and appeared to freeze solid. He didn’t make his speech, he didn’t make small talk, he didn’t do anything. Instead, the President stood as though frozen at his podium for an unsettling minute and a twenty seconds during which time the audience became increasingly restive, so that the President finally looked nervously at the room and explained, “Just waiting, here,” which recitation of the blatantly obvious did little to mollify the increasingly agitated crowd. .

At no time did the President indicate what he was waiting for, but most probably his prompter simply hadn’t uploaded his speech in time for his entrance…in other words, his teleprompter malfunctioned.  Most politicians would have joked with the crowd, made a few impromptu remarks, possibly voiced a few aphorisms about the importance of our military men and women—but not Obama. He was struck dumb by the failure of his prompter—without an authentic thought in his head about the serving military, or its alumni. Finally, a member of the audience cupped his hands about his mouth and shouted “Awwwwk-ward!” A few seconds later, the teleprompter flamed to life, and the President began his remarks as though he had just entered the room.

boatsWhile debating Mitt Romney, Obama denied his opponent’s assertion that the Navy is smaller under his presidency than it was in 1916, (Romney had actually said 1917, the year we entered World War One, but Obama missed the point). Speaking of points, the President dismissed the drastic reduction in naval firepower, telling Romney, “We also have fewer horses and bayonets because the nature of our military has changed.” Liberals in the audience guffawed at the spectacle of Romney being schooled on modern military realities by the savvy young Commander in Chief—but somebody forgot to brief the savvy young Commander in Chief regarding bayonets. Every Army and Marine rifleman is issued a bayonet and trained in its use. Horses may be gone, but a bayonet still snaps under the barrel of every military rifle. Perhaps this fact was just too yucky for consideration by whichever Team Obama member created that particular retort in anticipation of Romney’s logically foreseeable criticism.


M-4 with newest bayonet–a sticking point in the debate?

Surreal Geography

Then we have the problem of geography. Why would the most brilliant human being ever to occupy the Oval Office call Iran “just a tiny country,” or give a speech in Hawaii (November 16th, 2011) and refer to himself as being “here in Asia?” Gosh, the man was allegedly born in Hawaii—does he think he was born in Asia?  He is also famous for remarking during a speech in Austria that “Political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States…there’s a lot of — I don’t know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing.”

DID YOU KNOW? Though born in Austria, Hitler could not speak a word of Austrian!

DID YOU KNOW? Though born in Austria, Hitler could not speak a word of Austrian!

But of course there is no term in Austrian for “wheeling and dealing,” because there is no such language as Austrian—Austrians speak German—you know, like Hitler? Born in Linz, Austria, right Mr. President?  And yes, we could probably forgive a man, even a man of the President’s towering genius, for forgetting, while giving a speech in Austria, that the native tongue was not “Austrian,” except that when he made speech he was in Strasbourg, which he clearly assumed to be in Austria but which is the ninth largest city in France.  And Asia and France are not the only parts of the globe that bewilder our brilliant young president. He promised an El Paso audience in 2011 that border security was tight, declaring that “For the first time we’re screening 100 percent of the southbound rail shipments,” –problem being, of course, that it would be the northbound shipments smuggling in contraband of concern in this country.

In 2008 Candidate Obama gave a stirring speech at the site of the historic voting rights march in Selma, Alabama, in which he wowed the crowd with the story of how his mom and dad met each other because of the Selma march which so moved President Kennedy, Barack explained, that he established a program to bring African blacks to America to study here on scholarships—and thus Barack’s dad came to the States and met Barack’s mom, and they fell in love and had little Barack. Got that? Except that if you think about it, what Senator Obama told the audience was that because of the Selma march in 1965, President Kennedy established a scholarship for Africans (pretty noble of him, especially considering he’d been dead for two years) and as a result, Barack Obama Senior came to these shores in 1960, five years before the march in Selma inspired the late President to establish the scholarship that got him here, thus meeting his bride to be so that little Barack could be born in 1961—only four years before the march that would unite his parents. Got that? (If you think this proves the theory of time travel, WOOF has also considered this, see our Science and the Paranormal menu selection above for evidence that Obama may be a chrononaut!)  The alternative, and admittedly less interesting explanation is that Kennedy did in fact establish the program that brought Obama’s daddy to America, but did so when he, Kennedy, was a Senator, not President as Obama wrongly asserted, thus the timeline works perfectly except for the part about Selma, which Obama just lied about to please the crowd. Confusing? Hey, the crowd ate it up!

Each American president must concern himself with the problems of the Middle East, but none has put this more concisely than our Dear Leader, who told a crowd inharder in israel Tampa Florida (April 29, 2010) that, “The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.” As a candidate he also boldly reminded a crowd of perplexed Jordanians that, “Israel is a strong friend of Israel’s. It will be a strong friend of Israel’s under a McCain…administration. It will be a strong friend of Israel’s under an Obama administration. So that policy is not going to change.” (Amman, Jordan, July 22, 2008) While actually in Israel, President Obama touted his determination to get tough on Iran, telling a crowd in the city of Sderot: “Just this past week, we passed out of the U.S. Senate Banking Committee — which is my committee — a bill to call for divestment from Iran as a way of ratcheting up the pressure to ensure that they don’t obtain a nuclear weapon.” The Israeli press is not the American News Media, however, and they did something that no self-respecting American journalist would dream of doing—they fact checked Obama—discovering that he had never served on the Senate Banking Committee. Oh, Bamster!

How’s it going, Sunshine?

Nor do the Presidents difficulties with domestic geography end with believing the state of his birth to be in Asia. He made a broadcast via satellite to the Democratic Convention in 2008, declaring, “I’m here with the Girardo family here in St. Louis.” He was actually in Kansas City. And so, in the interest of accuracy, was the Girardo family.

It is widely publicized by right-wing opinionists that the President thinks there are 57 states because of a remark he made to a reporter during his 2008 campaign swing through Beaverton, Oregon. But this is untrue. The President actually said, “I’ve now been in 57 states, I think– one left to go.” So that would be 58 states in the Obama Nation, just to be perfectly accurate. And then there was the time he found himself campaigning in Sunrise, Florida and greeted the crowd by shouting, “How’s it going, Sunshine?”

On the road

Every politician is prey to lapsus linguae while enduring the rigors of the campaign trail—but Our Beloved Helmsman is particularly adept at misstating matters in ways that say more than the intended remark would have.  In New Hampshire in 2009 the newly elected Obama was trying to make the case for government efficiency and the blessings of socialized health care. Oddly, he came up with the fact that, “UPS and FedEx are doing just fine, right?” Taking stock of his audience’s failure to comprehend this logic, he added, “It’s the Post Office that’s always having problems,” thus confuting his own point. He may still have had the postal system in mind when he explained in a speech made in Washington DC (July, 2009) that “The reforms we seek would bring greater …inefficiencies to our health care system.”

There were the arithmetically challenged moments, such as the exhortation to return to American manufacturing “making products we sell around the world, stamped with three proud words: Made in the USA!”

Then there was the chilling moment in Springfield, Illinois when, during a campaign stop, Obama introduced Joe Biden to a wildly applauding assemblage as “The next President,” which WOOF profoundly hopes was in no sense prophetic.

President Biden? Come off it, Barack!

President Biden? Come off it, Barack!

What WOOF knows….

WOOF is convinced, based on certain reliable sources and some sophisticated meditative noodling, that Barack Obama, the smartest man ever to occupy the Oval Office. according to the communal wisdom of the American media,  has a room-temperature IQ between 116 and 126, on the Wechsler Scale.  From the inception of his political career, strange and powerful forces have enforced an ironclad secrecy about Our Beloved Helmsman’s college applications, records, writings, and transcripts that has led many to the natural assumption that a great deal is being purposefully hidden. WOOF knows these grades were not sufficient to justify his transfer to Columbia University in 1981 from a small school in Los Angeles (Occidental College), which he was attending on a mysterious scholarship. Next came his acceptance by Harvard’s Law School—and his evident graduation cum laude in 1991. We are allowed to read the cum laude part, but forbidden to examine his transcripts. And who paid for Obama to attend Harvard? Michelle says he went by means of student loans, but WOOF knows that records of such loans being made or repaid, which should be readily obtainable, do not exist. And even stranger than this is the fact that Obama’s records from kindergarten through high school (presumably in Hawaii) are missing. Even Obama’s family’s application to the Punahou School in Hawaii has vanished—and WOOF knows the application contained his actual birth certificate and relevant information.

Didn't he know these composite girlfriends never work out?

Didn’t he know these composite girlfriends never work out?

The Western Center for Journalism, (see WOOF LINKS below) estimates that the President’s personal legal team has spent 1.4 million dollars blocking access to documents that should be public information.. Besides his entire academic history, the President has directed that Americans be shooed away from his medical history, and one cannot rely on his two autobiographies for data because, as has become increasingly apparent even to a perplexed Media Establishment, they are mainly fiction—even the President’s girlfriend, whom he describes at length in “Dreams From My Father”—turned out to be non-existent, requiring Obama to acknowledge that she was “a composite of several girlfriends.” How eerie is that?

WOOF also knows that a variety of social security cards and numbers have been associated with Barack Obama, which fact alone is bizarre in the extreme, but even odder is the fact that the card now referenced by Obama in his official record was issued in Connecticut in 1976—whereas the President never lived or worked in Connecticut and was in any case only 15 years old at the time of issuance.  Considering that there is no evidence of the President ever having had, you know, a job—as in a real job–this seems particularly incomprehensible, since relatively few cushy high-dollar sinecures are available, even in the brie & chablis haut monde of the liberal ruling elite, for 15-year olds.

OMG, He's a freaking lizard!!

OMG, He’s a freaking lizard!!

To put in plainly, gentle readers, we have twice elected to the most powerful office in the world a man about whom we know less than we do about the Chinese emperors of the Sung Dynasty. What we are told of him by a unanimously adulatory media establishment is no more actual than what one might learn from the Nuremberg Chronicle about Prester John.  And yet the American journalistic establishment steadfastly ignores these mysteries and devotes itself to savaging any who dare enquire. WOOF knows that the answers to these riddles are known to the Red Chinese and Russian intelligence services, however…so why are they not forthcoming with the incriminating details? Because blackmail only works so long as the inculpatory secrets are withheld….and in any case, why would a man largely raised and tutored by Communist Party leader Frank Marshall Davis be disinclined  to preside in a fashion amenable to Communist goals? You know, like, maybe devastate the economy, preach Marxist class warfare from the podium, gut the military, redistribute wealth, shred the constitution and disarm the people?  And the really embarrassing part is, as you have just seen, it doesn’t take a genius!  It only required decades of subverting the media and the academy into blind obeisance to the Red Cause, and someone to take center stage.  And in Barack Hussein Obama, the monolithic worldwide totalitarian socialist conspiracy found that someone!  And we are they, fellow patriots, who must unmask him, as the Fourth Estate has deserted its post!

The Liberal Media prepare for another Presidential press conference--looks like it's up to us, readers!

The Liberal Media prepare for another Presidential press conference–looks like it’s up to us, readers!

TEXAS SCHOOLS FALL TO RED SUBVERSION–Commie menace set to spread!

In Just say HUAC forum on March 8, 2013 at 6:36 pm


Ever hear of CSCOPE?  No, it’s not the name of the submarine on Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, and it isn’t even a United Nations project, but if you guessed that, you’re warm. It’s actually a communist plot to completely infiltrate and seize control of the American educational system, and the reason you may not have heard of it previously is because it’s secret. That’s what we said, Woofketeers—it’s secret. It came invidiously, in the night, and spread its tentacles silently and unobtrusively while the good people of the great state of Texas slept.  And having ensconced itself in Texas like a weaponized  strain of bacteria, it began to spread outward, until all 50 states were under threat of clandestine seizure by Reds scheming to collectivize child rearing and Stalinize the very fabric of American education. That’s because the model, already infecting 75% of Texas schools through the 12th grade level, was scheduled for national adoption this year with the full and enthusiastic backing of Barack Hussein Obama, President for Life. Ironically, it was only CSCOPE’s fetish for secrecy and closed-door management that saved America –however temporarily–from this scourge, since the offer by Common Core Standards to take over, manage, and distribute the program across 50 states was rebuffed by the CSCOPE designers who refused to relinquish control of the process or allow access to their lesson plans.

images (2)

It all began so innocently….

Initially the state of Texas purchased the CSCOPE regimen based on its promise of being a regimented and uniform means of teaching the core curriculum specified by the federal government. The supposed goal, therefore, was to raise the performance of Texas school children across the entire state by administering an easily managed program that every school would apply identically. But CSCOPE was a subversive Trojan Horse packed with a clandestine cargo of destructive propaganda aimed straight for the inchoate intellects of kids from kindergarten to high school–and liberal teachers whom the CSCOPE designers knew would all-too-frequently prove equally susceptible to their venom!turn in your teacher!

CSCOPE describes itself as a “customizable online curriculum management system aligned with the Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills (TEKS)” adding that “CSCOPE’s high quality curriculum, assessment, and instructional components assist schools in meeting the high standards of rigor and relevance required in the TEKS and STARR assessments…” and who wouldn’t be all for that, right?  Well, okay, WOOF wouldn’t be—but most average Americans would think that sounded pretty dandy until they talked with the lengthy procession of  unexpectedly brave, whistle-blowing teachers who came forward complaining of CSCOPE’s police-state administrative  mindset and the learning model’s hidden communist agenda. The designers attempted to sheep-dip their package by claiming that many famed educators were throwing their support behind the idea and implying that in some instances these giants of education had functioned as co-designers of the CSCOPE formula. To quote their website:

“The curriculum and instructional components of CSCOPE are based on best practice models from the top researchers in the field of education, including Robert Marzano, Fenwick English, John Crain, Heidi Hayes Jacobs, Grant Wiggins, Jay McTighe, H. Lynn Erickson, and James Barufaldi.”

imagesWow, even if you didn’t know who a single one of those people was, you have to admit they sound pretty darned important…and from the standpoint of educational theory, for whatever that’s worth, they really are. But they are NOT really involved in the CSCOPE project. Commie lies, Wooferians—commie lies!  Let’s go one at a time here, shall we? The educators mentioned by CSCOPE are indeed venerable and time-honored experts in the field of learning (although mostly too radical for our tastes, but that’s beside the point). Doctor Marzano’s office released a statement saying that “Dr. Marzano was not involved in the development of CSCOPE…Dr. Marzano’s name is being incorrectly tied to this program.”  Next comes Dr. Fenwick English, an ultra liberal doyen of ultra liberal educationism in America—but Dr. English also states that, “To my knowledge I did not work on C-scope.” Moving right along, Heidi Hayes Jacobs reveals that she is “not familiar with C-Scope”and didn’t know they were using her name. Grant Wiggins and Jay McTighe? Here’s Wiggins on the subject:   “I am sure none of us have worked for them. I certainly never have, nor has Jay.” Neither did H. Lynn Erikson, according to H. Lynn Erikson.  James Barufaldi and John Crain hurt WOOF’s feelings deeply by refusing to comment—you know how it is with these Ivory Tower elitists!  But we digress….because the bad news about CSCOPE is not that they’re a pack of liars—that would make them no worse than the average press secretary or Senate Majority Leader. No, the really dangerous thing about CSCOPE is that it is radical Islamo-Marxism all pre-packaged for convenient classroom delivery.  And striking first in the noble state of Texas? The level of malignant connivance inherent in this gambit is chilling…utterly chilling! Here is a quick review of some of what your kids can learn from various CSCOPE lesson plans:

Non-Muslim religionists in Islamic countries enjoy religious freedom

The Boston Tea Party was a terrorist act, much like 9-11

Police officers found drugs in Paul Revere’s home after his midnight ride

Allah is God

Islamic terrorists are actually freedom fighters

Communism is the highest attainable economic system

Capitalism is a transitional phase on the path to communism

Egypt was a good country until democracy came along

Egypt is a good country again now that the Islamic Brotherhood is in charge

Early Christians were cannibals

Fascism and Nazism are two forms of Conservative government

The second amendment only applies to the collective


Oh yeah, and Democrats are people who “Will spend more tax dollars on education to benefits [sic] each individual.” (The lapsus linguae reminded WOOF of the NEA’s infamous ad from the ‘70s reminding Americans that “If your child can read and write, thank their [sic] teacher!”) But most egregious in the minds of many disgruntled Texas educators who led the class-room-based rebellion against the pollution of their school system was the lesson requiring kids to design a new flag for their country once it attains the happy condition of socialism, using suggested symbols of socialism from around the world. Here’s an example:flag

While launching a full fledged assault against American symbols, ideals, principles and values, CSCOPE manages to avoid teaching anything about American history. Not one of the great Western novels is taught or mentioned. Phonics are ignored, as is any instruction in formal grammar, usage, or writing. When Christianity is mentioned at all it is said to be similar to Islam, or in some lessons, Wicca. So why haven’t you heard more about this unvarnished Communist assault our school children? Well, as we said at the outset of this diatribe, the entire program was installed secretly. Teachers who reported for work discovered the new policies already in place and were not permitted to begin instructing their students in the new lessons until they had signed gag orders prohibiting them from discussing the contents of the curriculum with parents. Teachers brainwashedhave testified before the Texas Legislature that they were subject to constant intimidation, were called before committees of review if their loyalty to the process was reported as suspect, and were routinely subjected to unannounced three-minute classroom visitations by staff who functioned as commissars of education, observing whether teachers were functioning as “team players” and voicing waspish hints of impending dismissal if teachers were not educating as officially deemed appropriate.

Enemy from Chicago!?

Did you ever see Enemy from Space, that 1958 movie about a replica of a proposed lunar site that suddenly shows up in England and nobody knows why or how it got there—and Brian Donleavy decides to find out? Wow, that was really a scary movie. And here we have just about the same exact situation in Texas, only the enemy is within! A perfect replica of an advanced system of K-12 education materializes overnight, but nobody knows how it got there or who’s behind it! And as in the aforementioned sci-fi chiller, everybody who tries to find out hits a brick wall—or worse! What we know is this: In 2006 CSCOPE showed up in Texas as a newly proposed curriculum ostensibly developed by several Educational Service Center employees and marketed to school districts. Okay, who were these hard working members of these Texan ECS organizations who sat up long hours at night developing this new curriculum? Well, before anybody could exactly find out, they sold the whole idea, lock stock and borscht bowl, to a private non-profit corporation called Texas Education Service Centers Curriculum Collaborative, fondly known as the TESCCC. Oddly, whenever TESCCC sells CSCOPE to a school district, they demand  all participating school personnel sign non-disclosure agreements ensuring that nobody else including parents, legislators, reporters, or non-allied teachers, is allowed to view CSCOPE materials.  Educators are told that CSCOPE is so good that competitors would otherwise make off with all of its wonderful instructional innovations. As if.

"Egad, Dr. Quatermass--who built it? Where did it come from?" (Enemy from Space, 1958)

“Egad, Dr. Quatermass–who built it? Where did it come from?” (Enemy from Space, 1958)

The non-existent non-profit that made a profit and wasn’t there… 

All right—so the mysterious TESCCC proceeds to market its wonderful new educational program directly to the school districts. It can bypass review by the State Board of Education because of well intentioned legislation making it possible for school districts to purchase materials that are not SBOE approved. Note the diabolical use of an essentially libertarian act of legislation to promote the enslavement of children’s minds!  Furthermore, text books, which would normally require approval, do not require approval with the CSCOPE system—because there aren’t any! CSCOPE lessons are issued over the Internet and are not subject to prior review by anybody! Still with us, gentle readers? Okay—so TESCCC, despite the fact that its governing board should be made up of state employees, meeting, one supposes, on state property, nonetheless flatly refuses to allow any public attendance at its meetings, refuses to release minutes of its board meetings, and refuses to divulge its corporate mission statement. Understand, gentle reader, this is a public corporation—absorbing public funds, but refusing to tell the public what it is, what it does, or what it believes.  Okay, so we just close in on these evil corporate types and squish them like a bug, right? Well that thought occurred to more than one Texan, you may be certain.

On January 31, 2013 the Texas Senate Education Committee held a hearing on the bizarre takeover of 75% of Texan schools by the entity called CSCOPE. Committee Chairman Dan Patrick, R-Houston, charitably termed the situation ‘a mess.’ One teacher testified that the system amounted to “mind control,” and an algebra teacher broke down in tears as he related his story of finally opting to resign rather than ‘aiding and abetting a crime’ by teaching the CSCOPE curriculum. One experienced teacher testified that she had had doors slammed in her face—literally—when she attempted to ask school personnel about “the ideology behind CSCOPE.”

Texans move to restore right-thinking education!

Texans move to restore right-thinking education!

Thus, when the awakened politicians and people of Texas turned their not-so-collective wrath on TESCCC, what vengeance did they wreck upon that vile organization? Well—none really. Because it wasn’t there. It was a shell company. It had no employees, no business address, no stationery, no physical location—it didn’t even have a telephone number. It was all that remained of a dark, premeditated endeavor to teach communism, socialism, and pro-Islamic theocratic fascism to the school children of Texas—and the only people left holding the bag were the May-chain of gullible, liberal educators who had gone along to get along, hand in hand with a ghost corporation that vanished into thin air when the chips were down.

Who could be behind this? If you guessed the Worldwide Socialist Totalitarian Conspiracy that Governs us—you read our minds! (Maybe we need better tin foil!)

What WOOF knows…

Comrade Darling

Comrade Darling

WOOF knows that the brain trust behind CSCOPE was President Obama’s mentor and ghost writer, “Bombin'” Bill Ayers (Current  University of Illinois at Chicago professor and retired urban terrorist and erstwhile Pentagon bomber), in partnership with the subversive education “expert” Linda Darling-Hammond, who has run more than one school right into the ground with her ultra-radical theories.  The pair are long-time advocates of the “small schools movement,” which sounds lovely except that it actually grew out of the Weather Underground in the radical ‘60s. Darling-Hammond is lauded again and again in CSCOPE materials, has lectured extensively on behalf of  CSCOPE, and was an honored constituent of Our Beloved Helmsman’s educational transition team in the dark days of 2008.  Although she is a large part of the brains behind CSCOPE, she is not mentioned in the program’s phony list of advocates in academe, because she is so transparently radical.

What happens now? WOOF predicts that the Federal government will have to take over CSCOPE because, you know, it’s “a mess.” And President Obama will need somebody to exercise control over the crippled initiative and make it into a functional, trustworthy, federally approved, perhaps even mandated, educational program, right? And that person, WOOF further predicts will be the aforementioned Linda Darling Hammond. Get it? The whole thing will be right back in the hands of its creators—but it will look like a rescue mission! Slick, comrades! But we are the Watchdogs of Our Freedom—and we are onto you! WOOF PRINT


THE DE-LIONIZATION OF BOB WOODWARD, or, “That’s not what the bully pulpit is supposed to mean!”

In "Sequestration Nation" forum on March 7, 2013 at 12:42 am
The Lion in Winter?

The Lion in Winter?

Who is Bob Woodward? Well, informed Americans ought to know! Especially since whenever there’s a pause in the media braggadocio about how Edward R. Murrow brought down the Satanic Joe McCarthy, there is a compensatory upsurge of sorts in the drumbeat about the glory days in which the intrepid investigative journalists Woodward and Bernstein toppled Richard Nixon, possibly the second most evil entity in the entire known universe. (Presumably Dick Cheney is third.)

Bernstein and Woodward at the Washington Post in the glory days of getting Nixon

Bernstein and Woodward at the Washington Post in the glory days of getting Nixon

It took the media almost forever to get anybody interested in Watergate, but they would not be silent, and little by little the American citizenry was taught that the Watergate Burglary was a Constitutional crisis of unprecedented proportions, and nothing short of Nixon’s impeachment or resignation could ever satisfy the demands of justice—so, finally, out he went. And, of course, Hollywood made a movie about the relentless and courageous reporters who placed their careers at risk (as if!) to bag Evil Dick (who was actually the most liberal president since FDR but who could never be forgiven for being on the House Un-American Activities Committee and leading the fight to prove that Alger Hiss, the upper-crust State Department media darling whom the left-wing intelligentsia considered one of their own, was in fact a Communist Spy).

The Hardy Boys on a case? No, it's Hoffman and Redford pretending to be journalists!

The Hardy Boys on a case? No, it’s Hoffman and Redford pretending to be journalists!

So Dick Nixon had to go. He could fly to China, embrace Mao Tse Tung, end the draft, get us out of Vietnam, introduce wage and price controls worthy of Ted Kennedy, and declare “We are all Keynesians now!” But it didn’t matter. He had to go. And after Woodward and Bernstein brought him down (with considerable help from spineless finkslike John Dean), Hollywood made a movie about it, what a shock, right? The movie, like Woodward’s book, was entitled “All the Presidents Men,” and it starred two big-name liberals, the ineradicably radical Robert Redford, and the dutifully left-wing Dustin Hoffman.  Everyone was taught the story of how these two little reporters went after the nefarious Nixon and, gamely supported by editor Benjamin Bradley (think Jason Robards) at the Washington Post and stealthily assisted by an inside snitch whom Woodward and Bernstein code-named “Deep Throat” after the title of a popular pornographic film of that era, brought down Tricky Dick sort of like Humpty Dumpty so that all the kings horses and all the –well, see how clever that title was?

The nation swept Nixon into his 2nd term in '72--but the Washington Post had other plans!

The nation swept Nixon into his 2nd term in ’72–but the Washington Post had other plans!

Not only did Woodward and Bernstein become iconic on the Left, and indeed, in pop culture generally, but so did the location of the ill-fated burglary led by the future radio commentator and author, G. Gordon Liddy who became iconic in his own right for refusing to testify and going to prison while his fellow “Plumbers” sang like canaries. Since the great Watergate expose, America has patiently endured Irangate, Whitewatergate, Monicagate—and on and on…but of the two reporters, Woodward emerged as the author of successive political expose’s on various topics, though of often questionable validity. In his best seller “Veil,” for instance, he insisted that he eluded CIA security and infiltrated the hospital room of dying CIA Director Bill Casey, who was apparently so thrilled with the finesse of his incursion that rather than summoning his (hopelessly inept) bodyguards, he instead granted an interview on the spot to the ultra-liberal Woodward. Hey, why not, right?

G. Gordon Liddy in Watergate days

G. Gordon Liddy in Watergate days

During this allegedly four minute interview, Casey allegedly confessed his involvement in the Iran/Contra affair and when Woodward asked “Why?” ostensibly replied “I believed!”  The account went totally unchallenged in the liberal media because hey, this was Bob by-God Woodward, the man who got Richard Nixon (hear the heels clicking?) and just because the CIA security was 24/7 and Casey is known not to have been able to communicate understandably if at all during the time frame during which Woodward insists he interviewed him, and just because the CIA had logged the fact that they had intercepted Woodward and led him out of the hospital that night long before he allegedly tippy-toed into Casey’s room, and just because Casey would probably have sooner shot Woodward than spoken to him, doesn’t mean we should have any doubts that things went as Woodward described. He is one of the greatest heroes of leftist journalism, after all—Robert Redford played him in a movie!

The Watergate: It's political infamy distracted many from noticing that it is also among the most unfathomably ugly buildings ever erected!

The Watergate: It’s political infamy distracted many from noticing that it is also among the most unfathomably ugly buildings ever erected!

So what on earth just happened to shift the tectonic plates of the Leftist Establishment to such a degree that Bob Woodward, whose adventures inspired  a hundred thousand liberal teenagers to flood university journalism classes in the 1970s, should suddenly be seen as a villain by the Liberal Establishment Media?  What happened to cause the perpetually insensate Ed Schultz  to take to the air over at MSNBC and bellow that  Woodward’s latest reporting constituted “a total failure by a legendary journalist” and to denounce poor Woodward himself as “nothing but a drama queen”?  (And that last critique, dear readers, cannot be seen as anything less than an expert opinion, emanating from the only routinely-televised talking head more conspicuously unhinged than Chris Matthews!)

What was Bob Woodward’s great sin? What resulted in his being jettisoned from the Liberal Pantheon with such unceremonious hostility? What made his character assassination suddenly paramount in the agendas of the leftist news operations of cable and at the Dinosaur Networks that previously worshiped him?  Why, he was critical of Our Dear Leader!  And not very critical, mind you, just slightly critical—but the current stable of liberal news hawks cannot abide anything critical being said of Our Beloved Leader, and Woodward went from unchallengeable legend to ridiculous “drama queen” in a single news cycle because of his injudiciousness.

You know you're in trouble when this man labels you a 'drama queen!'

You know you’re in trouble when this man labels you a ‘drama queen!’

It’s understandable, in a sense, that being a legend can go to a man’s head to such an extent that he can forget the need to toe the line like any other celebrity or  upstart newsie, and step outside the boundaries of permissible thought and speech in contemporary reportage. We don’t think Woodward meant to give offense to the guardians of pseudo-journalistic conformity on the Left, he just forgot himself for the moment or so it took him to recall, factually, that sequestration was not some horrific concoction foisted upon the Obama administration by the skulking Neanderthals in Congress—no, Woodward explained, the whole idea of sequestration had come from Obama himself—the man who was now loudly protesting it as a potential planet killer.  Writing in his paper of origin, The Washington Post, Woodward had casually mentioned that, “My extensive reporting….shows that the automatic spending cuts were initiated by the White House and were the brainchild of [Jack] Lew and White House congressional relations chief Rob Nabors — probably the foremost experts on budget issues in the senior ranks of the federal government. Obama personally approved of the plan for Lew and Nabors to propose the sequester to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.).” And that did it!

Come to think of it, maybe Jack Lew invented sequester--yeah--that's the ticket!

“Come to think of it, maybe Jack Lew invented sequester–yeah–that’s the ticket!”

You didn’t have to be an investigative journalist to figure this out, of course. Your maiden aunt, if she had any mnemonic skills left, might have recalled that Obama invented the sequester. Can you think back to 2011? The news networks can’t, but if you can you’ll recall that as always we were in the throes of a budgetary crisis (because the Democratic Senate will not bring a budget to the floor) and negotiations over a debt limit were on the rocks. True, Reid and McConnell had put forth a bipartisan proposal, but Obama was running for re-election and didn’t want the inherent controversy of another debt-limit increase before November. He therefore scotched the plan and imposed the idea of sequestration instead.  It wasn’t until this March 4th that Obama admitted the sequester was his idea—heck, he even called it “dumb,” but this was too late for poor Woodward… and the Liberal Establishment Media didn’t report the president’s confession anyway.

Elements of the Left hasten to re-brand Woodward as not so lionly.

Elements of the Left hasten to re-brand Woodward as not so lionly.

The media were already irate that one of their own would break ranks and tell the truth about the origins of Obama’s dumb idea—and then something even more unthinkable happened! Because he had called out Obama on his sequester deception, Woodward was duly treated to a threatening email from White House Economic Adviser Gene Sperling.  Yes, the lion of liberal journalistic intrepidity was curtly informed, in his own words, “you will regret doing this.” And instead of cringing, Woodward went public and exposed the threat. And that was the last straw for the Liberal Establishment Media. After all, it’s bad enough for a reporter to say something negative about President Obama—and get himself condignly threatened—but to then go to the Politico and publicize the fact that he was threatened? Unthinkable! And then, Woodward had the temerity to repeat the charges on Fox programs like Hannity and O’Reilly.  On FOX news! Was Woodward crazy? The Left exploded in a torrent of rage—led by White House adviser David Plouffe (the same guy who tweeted the infamous Obama skeet photo) who growled publicly that Woodward was past his prime—over the hill–  probably losing it a little… while Joe Scarborough (who became a left wing morning showman for MSNBC after failing utterly to garner any sort of audience as a pretend conservative radio host)  made fun of Woodward and was was joined by co-host Mika Brzezinski in  wondering aloud,  “is he really afraid of a little aide who said that to him? Really?” The Huffington Post explained laboriously that the threat was not really a threat (WOOF forgets exactly why, but it doesn’t really matter, does it?) and called Woodward overly sensitive, while Martin Bashir (one of that odd breed of British subjects who come here to scold us over our televisions and then get even angrier at us because nobody watches their programs) struck a multicultural note in his denunciation of Woodward, insisting that  “I’m actually reminded of that British parliamentarian who, when he was attacked by Foreign Secretary Geoffrey Howe, described it as the equivalent of being ravaged by a dead sheep.” (Thought our sides would split, Martin!)

Martin Bashir--this is how he would look if you ever saw him on television, which is statistically unlikely.

Martin Bashir–this is how he would look if you ever saw him on television, which is statistically unlikely, according to Nielsen.

Gene "Knuckes" Sperling--all right he wouldn't intimidate us either...but maybe you had to be there.

Gene “Knuckes” Sperling–all right he wouldn’t intimidate us either…but maybe you had to be there.

CNN’s John Avlon hooted at Woodward’s timidity, rhetorically imploring, “Is this Bob Woodward who fought with the Nixon White House? I mean Chuck Colson and H.R. Haldeman would be ashamed to see Gene Sperling not come at Bob with anything stronger than that.”  And even the tired, saggy old Washington Post, which owes its glory, however faded, to the energies of Woodward and Bernstein, got a dagger into their native son’s back, quipping editorially that, “only in Washington does the back and forthbetween a legendary journalist and a White House wonk turn into an epic talking-head fest and trending Twitter topic.” In other words, the American news media no longer care if their practicing members are coerced into silence by an administration, so long as the administration is Obama’s. The Dear Leader will be protected at all costs, and if he wants to threaten journalists, American journalism is ready to back him up!  As in Fahrenheit 451 where the fire department starts fires, the age of Obama has given us a press elite that exists, at least in large part, to savage reporters who complain about being threatened by the Dear Leader’s minions…for reporting!  This is the kind of situation best described by the adjective Orwellian. Clearly the crown prince of investigative journalism and bonafide hero of the Left  was disposable as soon as he threatened the president’s image or criticized his judgment, just as the Clintons discovered they were expendable as soon as they stood between Obama and the nomination back in 2008. To the contemporary American press corpse, nothing takes precedence over the carefully maintained image of Barack Hussein Obama, Dear Leader, Beloved Helmsman, President for Life.

Nor is Woodward’s situation unique—far from it. The Obama administration has made a common practice of press intimidation since the 2008 election, and the Obama campaign prior to that was notorious for kicking reporters off the campaign plane who had offended the Great Helmsman-to-be, or whose papers or networks had displeased him in some regard.

obama angry

No sooner was Obama inaugurated than an attempt was made to exclude FOX news from the White House Press Pool.  The Pool is a five-member group consisting of ABC, CBS, CNN, Fox News, and NBC that is in no respect subject to the dictates of the Obama administration. To their eternal credit, the other networks involved in the pool insisted that they would not participate if FOX were banned, thus the administration relented.

At CNN it is an open secret that business reporters Rick Santelli and Jim Cramer were told in no uncertain terms to lay off their criticisms of the Beloved Leader’s economic policies.

Even Cramer had to bite his tongue about the First Marxist!

Even Cramer had to bite his tongue about the First Marxist!

On the heels of Woodward’s revelations, ex Clintonista hack Lanny Davis, who is as left- wing as they come, complained that he too had been targeted following a couple of less-than-laudatory columns about the administration. Davis added that his paper’s editor had been contacted and told  “that if he continued to run my columns, he would lose, or his reporters would lose their White House credentials.”

Journalist Ron Fournier says that he was also threatened, claiming that, “As editor-in-chief of a National Journal, I received several e-mails and telephone calls from this White House official filled with vulgarity, abusive language, and virtually the same phrase that Woodward called a veiled threat.”

carsonAnd now comes Dr. Benjamin Carson whom Wooferians will recall from February’s “Breakfast with Benjamin and Barack” article. Dr. Carson has now made public the fact that the Obama administration demanded to see his speech prior to the National Prayer breakfast.  When Dr. Carson pointed out that he didn’t have a speech as his remarks would be spontaneous, he was sternly admonished “not to offend the president.” Judging from the flood of liberal media attacks on the world-renowned surgeon and Medal-of-Freedom winner in the wake of the breakfast, Dr. Carson not only offended the First Marxist, he embarrassed him, and the media have been on him like a school of piranha ever since.

So that’s the way it is, America (to coin a phrase), we are confronted by a Fourth Estate whose avowed purpose is to cover for the most criminal and anti-American administration in our history. And now they have drones, and Google working with them. And WOOF says, no problem! We will take them on with the ferocity and tenacity for which we would like to become so justly famous!  Yes, the drones and the black helicopters with brightly lit interiors have been buzzing the old WOOF cave lately, and various electronic and psychic attacks have been launched in our direction, but we are still here—still publishing the truth for our loyal readers! And as G. Gordon Liddy told the press when he left Danbury Prison, “What does not kill us makes us stronger!” Except he said it in German, like Nietzsche wrote it—you know—in Twilight of the Idols? But we digress.


drone moon this one

Drones over the Atlantic by moonlight–they do look kind of pretty!

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